The Airing of Grievances

Stupid Knowledge

 

Here you have a man running for POTUS telling a bunch of people to stop sending their children to college because they are institutions of indoctrination. By indoctrination of course he means teaching them things like science, philosophy,and critical thinking. You know...all that evil shit that catapulted us out of the dark ages. Plus, it's not as if we aren't full of institutions masquerading as colleges but are really just there to brainwash kids with their draconian rules. Nobody is stopping anyone from attending those places.

This man is obviously threatened by knowledge and information. This man obviously has no interest in progressing society and he seems perfectly content to want to drag it back to the dark ages. Yet this man is getting votes in these early primaries at a rather alarming rate. That's very scary to me and it should be to anyone.

Now I know that Asspologist will come along and be all like "No, no...you don't get it, Vandelay. He doesn't REALLY think that. He's just pandering to the lowest common denominator." Perhaps...although I'm not so sure with this loon. Even if that's true though, it's quite clear that him and all of his opponents want nothing more than to keep the ignorant as ignorant as possible. That's not leadership. It's very, very dangerous.

If it is in fact true that education is at odds with faith...and I think Santorum is right about that...the real fool is the one that thinks the problem with that is the education.

Health Benefits to Female Circumcision?

We've been hearing for decades from various monotheisms that taking a knife to a baby's penis and chopping off it's foreskin is all done in the name of cleanliness or something. Nothing to do with divine commandments at all...that's ludicrous. Did you know though that there are still some cults that deem it necessary to chop off little girls' clitori? (I'm not looking up the plural of clitoris...it's gotta be clitori)

Well, surely that can't be due to any sort of divine doctrine claiming to represent a particular version of a particular deity. There must be something in this for the kids, right? Well thankfully we now have our answers. Let's go to reknowned Islamic physician, Dr. Haamid al-Ghawaabi...

The secretions of the labia minora accumulate in uncircumcised women and turn rancid, so they develop an unpleasant odour which may lead to infections of the vagina or urethra. I have seen many cases of sickness caused by the lack of circumcision.

Circumcision reduces excessive sensitivity of the clitoris which may cause it to increase in size to 3 centimeters when aroused, which is very annoying to the husband, especially at the time of intercourse.

Another benefit of circumcision is that it prevents stimulation of the clitoris which makes it grow large in such a manner that it causes pain.

Circumcision prevents spasms of the clitoris which are a kind of inflammation.

Circumcision reduces excessive sexual desire.

Well there you have it ladies. If you haven't had it done yet, I'd head out right this second. For a little immediate gut-wrenching pain, you'll never again have to deal with that rancid smell of your vaginas, you'll alleviate those pesky sexual desires, and you'll stop making your partners uncomfortable with all your arousal and 3 centimeter long clitori. It's a no-brainer, really. Go. Chop, chop!

More Like "Beeyatch"-ification, Emmiright?

Swallowed up by the news of a royal wedding and the death of a mad man this weekend was the beatification of his holy highness, Pope John Paul II in front of 1.5 million of his closest fans. I don’t even understand the intricacies of this process by whereby people are made into saints. Canonization…beatification…sainthood…Greek. I do know that it’s a very long drawn out process and an expensive one at that only done for the sake of being able to say “This person was better than you.” Just another example among many that point to this shit being completely void of anything resembling humility. PJP-II himself beatified 1,338 dead people in his 27 years with that authority. Along with that authority of course comes the authority to certify a miracle and proof that you performed a miracle after you died is required for beatification.

So under this guy’s watch, we saw what may have been the biggest RCC scandal in centuries as thousands upon thousands of children were molested and raped in a sick fashion by people who were provided authority over them supposedly from God. This we know. It’s not up for debate. Throw in the condemnation of contraceptives and the spread of AIDS and poverty, the oppression of women and homosexuals, and the complete disdain for anyone who didn’t accept Christ as their savior…for anyone who may have been born into something different or simply wanted to be accountable for their own sins…and it’s clear that you have to question the sainthood of this man, immediately. If you believe in such things as he did, you should even argue that his fate should lie well in the other direction.

Moral Majority My Ass

Last week, after the epic ruling to cut funding for NPR by the House, Anthony Weiner got up and gave a really sarcastic speech about how he's glad that the economy is fixed and so many jobs have been created so that we can move on to more important things like going after the enemy that is NPR. Weiner is entertaining but I kind of thought it was a dick move. At the very least, the House was looking for a way to cut unnecessary funding so tax money could go somewhere more appropriate or dare I say...into paying off the deficit?

So I probably have a little bit of a reputation for obsessing over religion and for anyone who thinks that...I probably have to just give it to you. I really do do that. Now I'd like to tell you why. First watch this video of Louie Gohmert the very next day making a motion to reaffirm "In God We Trust."

Uh-Oh!

I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

Wait...I wasn't the first one that thought of that?

Should This Man Be Allowed To Be Guv'nah?

Robert Bentley was sworn in as governor of Alabama on Monday but prior to the inauguration, he was speaking to a congregation of Southern Baptists. It seemed to be a speech about the importance of racial tolerance in the spirit of MLK day, but then it got really weird...

"There may be some people here today who do not have living within them the Holy Spirit," Bentley said. ''But if you have been adopted in God's family like I have, and like you have if you're a Christian and if you're saved, and the Holy Spirit lives within you just like the Holy Spirit lives within me, then you know what that makes? It makes you and me brothers. And it makes you and me brother and sister." Bentley added, ''Now I will have to say that, if we don't have the same daddy, we're not brothers and sisters. So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I'm telling you, you're not my brother and you're not my sister, and I want to be your brother."

We here at the Grieve talk a lot about the 1st amendment and specifically the ambiguity and sometimes complete hypocrisy regarding the separation of church and state and this is far from the first evangelical d-bag elected into office trying to pull shit like this but is this not as blatant a transgression against the 1st amendment as we've seen? I mean, I'm ecstatic that I'm not this asshole's brother but I sure as fuck wouldn't want him running my state either.

He would go on to clarify that he likes everyone and will treat everyone equally in an obvious attempt at damage control but the fact remains...in a speech where he was praising himself for his "tolerance," this mother fucker practically made a plea for people to convert to Christianity. On what level would that ever be considered acceptable?

Or is this actually just what passes for tolerant in Alabama?

Rejoice!!!

Folks...awesome news coming out of the Vatican, yesterday. The Pimp says we can use condoms now and not even go to hell!!! I wonder if all of the people that were already in hell for wearing condoms get out now? Oh wait...they're not in hell because they're fucking ALIVE!!!

Anyway, great to see some good stories coming from the church.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

God dammit!!!

Trust Me...This Is Hilarious

So apparently having run out of any good stereotypical bad guys like Nazis and Monsters and shit, Hollywood has decided to vilify those hateful atheists. Please take a few minutes to watch the absurd trailer below. It's basically the plot to the Grinch except the Grinch doesn't like religion. I don't really know where to begin...

- It takes place in a small town in Alaska of course
- It stars Ted McGinley as the mayor and the fat Baldwin (are they all just fat now?) as the evil atheist
- He's described as a person that hates God even though he doesn't believe in God so that's not even possible
- Christians started the United States of America
- I'm guessing here but since it's Hollywood I'm going to assume that the evil atheist abandons all his principles and reasoning and converts to Catholic because they're nicer
- Yup...straight to DVD

Ultimately, this shit is fucked up. Not only have I never known an atheist that had an issue with Christmas but for Christ's sake Christians...it's okay for people not to believe in the same shit that you do! Isn't there some sort of message in the Christmas spirit about not being so god damned self-righteous about everything?

Sigh.

Everybody Must Get Stoned

So since attacking Afghanistan 9 years ago, most people think that we've made absolutely no progress in that shithole but did you know that in those 9 years the Taliban has not sentenced one person to death by stoning? Let's hear it for humanity! Wait for it...

The Taliban on Sunday ordered their first public executions by stoning since their fall from power nine years ago, killing a young couple who had eloped, according to Afghan officials and a witness.

Of course. The cardinal sin of falling in love and getting married. Has there ever been anyone stoned to death for doing something that stoning to death would justify? Like, how come it's always adultery or marriage or not bowing to someone? When do you ever hear about some motherfucker that raped and killed 8 children being stoned to death? Oh wait...if you haven't read the article this gets way better...

Mr. Khan estimated that about 200 villagers participated in the executions, including Khayyam’s father and brother, and Siddiqa’s brother, as well as other relatives, with a larger crowd of onlookers who did not take part.

Well, it's nice to see the families of the happy couple coming together for a common cause.

“People were very happy seeing this,” Mr. Khan maintained, saying the crowd was festive and cheered during the stoning. The couple, he said, “did a bad thing.”

Kill. Them. All.

Next?

On an early November night of 2008, racism finally died as we the people actually voted a black man into the office of the President of the United States of America. It was a proud day to be an American for sure (despite that he's actually a socialist and probably a terrorist...HA!) but I'm wondering if this going to open up the door for other minorities. As we continue to progress, what can we do to make history again? Women certainly appear to be getting closer so that's not out of the question. How about a Hispanic, a Jew, or dare I say...a homosexual? While I'm brainstorming, let me propose this scenario to you. Some guy walks up to a podium and says this...

"Look, I flat-out don't believe in God. I respect people's beliefs but I've really never bought into the idea of blind faith and religious doctrine has no part of who I am as a human being. I'm able to govern myself morally and ethically without the prospects of rewards or punishment, but simply as an inherent characteristic. I'd like to be your next president."

Now of course this is a dream scenario if you enjoy some good old fashioned Jesus riots and watching some of your favorite pundits completely lose their fucking minds but could it happen? Could it happen in our lifetime?