The Airing of Grievances

Best. Painting. Ever.

This might be the first and probably the last time I will ever use the "Art" tag. So real quick, some dude that hates socialism and can work a brush recently pulled all of his art from the BYU bookstore after the bookstore took this painting off the shelves due to some hippy douchebags whining about the secularism of the Constitution or some shit. John McNaughton (the artist/real American) was all like "Fine, you motherfuckers don't think the Constitution was divinely inspired? I forbid you from buying my art! Ha!" Okay enough of that...let's get to the painting.

So I suppose this is the rapture we've all been hearing about for so long and it's taking place right in front of the Capitol and the Supreme Court! JC brought a bunch of dead people with him and then among the living, the ones he likes are on his right and the liberal scum on his left are I suppose about to be laid to waste. It looks like all the forefathers made the cut so that's good...even though you got guys like Jefferson, Franklin, and Payne in there who were basically atheists. Jefferson hated God so much that he made a bible omitting everything about God! I dont know what the fuck Honest Abe is doing there but he looks like Al Jolson, doesn't he? Apparently, Christa McAuliffe even made the cut (she looks good!).

The greatest part about this painting though is that you can go to the site and scroll over any part of the painting where McNaughton will provide for you a description of what each figure represents. For example, see the guy sitting to the Jewish Zombie's left on the top step with the glasses?

"College Professor - He tightly holds his Origin of Species book by Charles Darwin. This represents the liberal left's control of our education system. His smug expression describes the attitude of many of the education elite. There is no room for God in education. There is contempt for any other viewpoints. Humanism dominates the educational system of America and I believe that is wrong. Notice that he is the only one sitting at the top step. He tries to place himself on equal footing with God, but he is still nothing next to the intelligence of the Creator."

By the way, the BFF-looking chick on his right with the books is a school teacher. School teacher = good. College Professor = Bad. Also, you'll notice a dark figure to the left of the liberal professor...that's Satan. Yup...Satan even showed up to this theocratical orgy! So your assignment for today is to go to the site and learn as much as you can about this moment in history that hasn't happened yet because it's coming, baby! Oh, and after that, check out "The Forgotten Man." So great. Abe's fucking pissed!!!

Anyway, you can purchase a print for like 900 bucks so start saving. If this isn't hanging behind my bar in an ironic fashion by the end of the summer, I'm clearly not trying hard enough.

Yo Assman...

So This is Ummm...Different

Yeah, that's a clay sculpture of Paris Hilton. Her dog is trying to wake her up. Unfortunately for him, she's dead, lying spread eagle on a coroner's table. For you AOFG'ers lucky enough to be in the Brooklyn area, you can go see her and even remove her innards if you so chose. Why would you want to do that, you ask? To become more aware of the dangers of drunk driving ...what else?

In keeping up with the prom season theme, this was the brain child of artist, Daniel Edwards who feels that providing prom goers with the option of giving Paris Hilton an interactive autopsy will somehow increase their chances of calling a cab.

Kesting, advocating teenagers to experience the Hilton display "hands-on," said, "Paris' internals, which include her small intestines, and other elements, are removable to assist teens with an empathetic view of drunk driving tragedy from the coroner's perspective."

Wow. Just wow.

The work is aptly titled "Paris Hilton Autopsy." To the artist's dismay, "One Night in Paris" was already taken. The answer is still "yes" by the way.

(Other pictures slightly less SFW)

In The Army Now

Ever see those people in the park who pretend to be statues?  They are just standing there, usually encased in grease paint, staring off into space.  I suppose some people think of this as art - but really, it's just an exteremly lazy form of being a mime (and NOBODY likes a mime!).  Maybe they're a pretending to be a bronze bust of Caesar Augustus, or a ballerina, or even the Statue of Liberty, but they all share one thing in common - a little cup in fornt of them asking for money.  Now this drives me absolutely batshit.  When I see that little cup, I just want to scream, "Listen jack-ass, the only way you are getting paid for standing still is if you are being pelted with rotten vegetables, other than that, you are just loitering."

Well, at least somebody has been convinced that standing still in a costume is indeed art.  Meet Pablo Wendel, aspiring artist, or aspiring 1st Century Chinese warrior - your pick:

The Chinese government, for their part, share my assessment of Mr. Wendel's "performance" art.  But instead of pelting him with bok choy, they released him scot-free after some "serious criticism".   Take that, Pablo Wendel!  And tell all of your loitering mime friends how brutal serious criticism can really be.

Remembering HST

Sounds like a hell of a party.

Remixing MoMA

From this past Saturday's New York Times, one of the more ingenious ideas I've seen in a long time: remixed museum audio tours. Professor David Gilbert and students at Marymount Manhattan College have formed Art Mobs, a group which creates downloadable audio tours of music and irreverent commentary for several works in the Museum of Modern Art. Hate wasting $5 for sucky audio tours that you zone out on halfway through the museum? All you have to do is download the podcasts here (as of now, only nine pieces have received the Art Mob treatment), put them on your iPod, and enjoy.

(By the way, if you live in New York and haven't been to the re-opened MoMA yet, go. Now. Seriously, stop reading this blog, get off your uncultured ass, and go. Hell, I can get you in for free and will gladly go with you, just drop me a line.)

Sad

(Strip courtesy of "Justus" via the BlackCommentator.Com.)