Oh, sh-sh-sh-shut the fuck up. I don't care how great of a game it was. I am a Steelers fan. I want the Steelers to win. When they lose, I don't enjoy watching it. When they lose in a playoff game, I really don't enjoy watching it. When they lose like they did yesterday in a playoff game, it puts the lives of nearby kittens and small children at risk. So don't tell me it was a great game.
I don't care if the QB that went to the college you liked played very well for a team in a city that you've never been to. I don't care how entertaining it was. For me, the most entertaining Steeler games are the ones where they beat Cleveland 48-3. I like the Saints-Packers games and the Lions-Bears games of the world to entertain me. They can be thrilling as fuck. Matt Forte can heroically lead his team to victory, scoring the go-ahead touchdown with 58 seconds left, and I'll watch intently. Because I don't give the slightest darn who wins.
But the Steelers...that is the team that I am a fan of. So I want them to win games ugly. I don't want them to lose games pretty. So don't tell me how great that game was. BECAUSE IT SUCKED. Tim Tebow's team winning a wild card game in overtime does not show how great God's love is. Unless you believe that God hates Troy Polamalu and Ike Taylor. Why aren't you also saying this to other people who have watched their "team" lose?
- Hey, Germany...come on guys. It was a great war. You guys fought hard. Seriously, it looked like you had it there until the end. But I wouldn't go into Russia. May want to replace the coach if he's going to make decisions like that.
- NASCAR fans...come on guys. I know Earnhardt was killed there at the end but he was in 3rd place coming into the turn. That's a damn good performance. It really was a great race. Plus, his son was able to pick up second. You really can't ask for more. Except for maybe Earnhardt not dying.
- Taxpayers...come on! I know you are paying for banking bailouts and also for your own fuckawful mortgages but last fiscal season was AWESOME! Everybody was getting houses. BAM! House. POOF! Condos. Man, was that an exciting construction season. Sorry you lost your house, though.
- Hatians! Come on gu...nah, I'm joking.
But come the fuck on, friends. Don't tell me it was an exciting game. Or an awesome game. Or a Godly game. Or that it proved the critics wrong. Because I don't care. I DO. NOT. CARE. And everytime you mention something about the game, I'm going to Photoshop ejaculate onto a Denver Bronco.
Ugh. Here's the thing...if you tell me before the season starts that we go 12-4 but lose a road playoff where you lose your entire defensive line, have two hurt OLBs, lose your free safety, and your QB is at like 60%...I'd be okay with that. What are you gonna do, right? You can't win them all. That's a lot to overcome.
But not this. Not that way. Not getting shredded by Tebow. I can't watch ESPN for like a year now.
Posted by: Vandelay | January 09, 2012 at 10:37 AM
I know. And I think they have a legit shot against New England. Baltimore and maybe even Houston would tear them limb from limb. Fuck. Houston is the only team left that I don't mind winning.
Posted by: Newman | January 09, 2012 at 11:32 AM
This game was awesome!
Posted by: custom writing paper online | January 09, 2012 at 01:57 PM
Fuck off, custom writing paper.
Posted by: Newman | January 09, 2012 at 02:04 PM
Custom writing paper makes a good point. The game was awesome.
and, look... the Steelers weren't winning the SuperBowl this year. They were going to lose to someone, right? Doesn't it feel better losing in a game where all your best players were injured and it still took a near miracle to beat you? Or does anything short of a SuperBowl victory feel like summer piss?
Posted by: AssTebow | January 09, 2012 at 05:29 PM
It's just embarrassing for a team that takes pride in their defense to get torched by a shitty QB like that. I hear ya though...there are harder things than being a Steeler fan. I'm over it.
Posted by: Vandelay | January 09, 2012 at 06:49 PM
Everyone's so wrapped up in Tebowgeddon that they are overlooking an equally annnoying figure in all of this: John Elway. I've always hated John Elway. Now we get to see him galloping around the sidelines with his giant Bronco teeth glistening in the sun. Sit the fuck down, gelding.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | January 10, 2012 at 09:13 AM
there weren't many steelers fans at the bar in vermont i was in. not sure if it was better for the pats or jesus that they lose.
Posted by: Mr. Kruger | January 11, 2012 at 10:56 AM
Any year that is not a Super Bowl victory sucks. So yes, most years suck. But luckily I get over it and start looking at mock drafts.
Posted by: Nooms | January 12, 2012 at 12:16 PM