Facebook Idiocy

As rampant as it is, there are few things that grind my gears as much as this shit...

Here's how I interpret this...

I'm better than you. I'm simply a better person than you. I'm not better than you because of my actions or because I inspire anyone or anything or have ever even tried to advance my society in any positive way, shape, or form whatsoever. I'm better than you because I'm aware that children get cancer and I have the balls to post it on my Facebook wall. Look what I've done for all these poor children suffering! Look at the way I've touched their lives! Look at how much I've advanced scientific research in order to find a cure for this insidious disease! I took like 4 seconds out of my day to hit the share button on Facebook and your you're just too fucking cool for that, aren't you?

Seriously...what else could possibly be going through these peoples minds? Here's another particularly loathesome one...

Someone should make a Barbie with no hair so that every little girl fighting cancer feels beautiful!

Yeah, I did my part, assholes! Now would someone please get to work on this! I'll let Stuff White People Like take it from here. It's funny cause its true...

An interesting fact about white people is that they firmly believe that all of the world’s problems can be solved through “awareness.” Meaning the process of making other people aware of problems, and then magically someone else like the government will fix it.

This belief allows them to feel that sweet self-satisfaction without actually having to solve anything or face any difficult challenges. Because, the only challenge of raising awareness is people not being aware. In a worst case scenario, if you fail someone doesn’t know about the problem. End of story.

What makes this even more appealing for white people is that you can raise “awareness” through expensive dinners, parties, marathons, selling t-shirts, fashion shows, concerts, eating at restaurants and bracelets. In other words, white people just have to keep doing stuff they like, EXCEPT now they can feel better about making a difference.

Raising awareness is also awesome because once you raise awareness to an acceptable, aribtrary level, you can just back off and say “Bam! did my part. Now it’s your turn. Fix it.”

So to summarize – you get all the benefits of helping (self satisfaction, telling other people) but no need for difficult decisions or the ensuing criticism (how do you criticize awareness?). Once again, white people find a way to score that sweet double victory.

Popular things to be aware of: The Environment, Diseases like Cancer and AIDS, Africa, Poverty, Anorexia, Homophobia, Midde School Field Hockey/Lacrosse teams, Drug Rehab, and political prisoners.

Comments

[Jeff]

That "Stuff White People Like" entry is spot on (and funny). Whenever I hear about a walkathon in which participants get sponsorship for walking to put toward a charity, I always wonder why those sponsors even need this third-party person to walk before agreeing to give money to said charity. Why not just donate it and skip the whole walkathon? I think it's just a big ceremony for people to pat themselves on the back.

[Vandelay]

Right. You walk every day anyway. Do something that could kill you and I'll be impressed. Swim with sharks. Run with the Bulls. Hang-glide.

[Assman]

I spend an unfair amount of time in San Francisco. You'd be surprised at how much value these folks stake in "awareness," "weird actions in the name of awareness" and "awareness of things that frankly don't matter."

[Newman]

I would fuck a goat to eradicate AIDS. Would you? Then say you will, coward.

[Mr. Kruger]

i agree that non-white ppl are incapable organizing or participating in fundraisers or 'awareness' causes. hell if it wasn't for white ppl sncc would never have gotten off the ground and the civil rights movement never would have happened and all my non-white friends would be mowing my lawn and doing my laundry and shit.

but on another note- who gives a shit if you give ppl an opportunity to feel like heroes without making any real commitment or sacrifice. the point is to collect contributions and pass it on to the professionals who handle the problem.

I always wonder why those sponsors even need this third-party person to walk before agreeing to give money to said charity. Why not just donate it and skip the whole walkathon? I think it's just a big ceremony for people to pat themselves on the back.

jeff...... just..... really?

[Jack Klompus]

"hell if it wasn't for white ppl sncc would never have gotten off the ground and the civil rights movement never would have happened"

Then again, if it wasn't for some white ppl there wouldn't have been a need for a civil rights movement in the first place.

[Mr. Kruger]

@klompus

ya that was my point. interwebs don't convey satire very well.

[Jack Klompus]

"interwebs don't convey satire very well."

Sure they do. White ppl just aint too good at picking up on it.

[Addiction treatment centers]

increasing knowledge regarding any health problems is also amazing because once you increase knowledge to an acceptable.