Happy Festivus 2009 folks! In honor of the occasion, I will be making a donation in all fellow grievers names to the Children's Alliance, aka my beer fund. I will not be making one for Dr. Van Nostren though. Aw the hell with it, I'm regifting this year.
As the unofficial day of Festivus celebrated the world over, it is a day to relieve ourselves of our persistent nagging issues we have with the world and all of us in general, and in honor of such an occasion, I will be emceeing from my local watering hole whilst attempting to stay completely off radar from my actual job, since this is my last day of the year and the last thing I need to do is get caught fucking around and get canned. Think of this years emceeing as if it were handled in a missile silo somewhere outside Bumblefuckslavia, Idaho.
I look forward to hearing from a lot of you this Festivus. It has been one of those years it seems. Lives seem to get in the way, people kind of forget this place exists, I'm sure our founding father Frank Costanza is ready to shit kick the lot of us for slacking off, but now is the time to get our thumbs out of our asses and make Festivus what it is. The past year saw the Detroit Lions win a game, Vandelay make fun of idiots, and even Rush get shot down buying a football squad . Yeah, I may have contributed some bile once or twice.
I"m pretty sure that you all know the drill, send your grievances to [email protected] and get it to me by, say, noon-ish and I'll pop those bitches up there in between sips of Miller Lite Sam Adams and Asian Zing boneless wings. As per the ritual, this bitch will not end until one of you asshats pins me in the Feats of Strength, and I'm feeling particularly salty of late, so this should get interesting.
Enough of the bullshit. Let's kick this pig!
Very nice.
Posted by: Assman | December 23, 2009 at 02:16 AM
yay! i'll be stopping by all day.
--joe
Posted by: TFKoP | December 23, 2009 at 10:17 AM
Great job today, Whatley. I can attest that running a Festivus is not as easy a job as it seems on paper and probably even harder when you've been drinking all day but you killed it.
Posted by: Vandelay | December 23, 2009 at 04:54 PM