(Apparently, Mrs. Vandelay has some Grievances that could not wait, and since she is the woman of the house, she gets the floor first.)
My grievances for Festivus:
Facebook:
Communicating with dead people via facebook - i.e, "RIP Papa, we will
miss you, but we know you are in a better place"...I sure as hell hope
papa isn't in the afterworld checking his facebook wall. There has to be
a better more comforting way to communicate with dead loved ones.
Communicating with someone you live with publicly on facebook - don't
wish your spouse happy birthday on facebook, don't post how fuckin' in
love you are or how great the person you love is. Why not just tell that
person IN PERSON??? Don't post every minute detail of your day...
Entertain people, bust balls or don"t post at all.
People who ask if there is anything they can do to help and then when
you actually ask them to do something, they refuse.
People who have children who go to an expensive college and then make it
a point to insert that information into every single conversation you
have with them and then send out a Christmas card with the entire family
in sweatshirts with the school's name on them. WE GET IT...YOU WIN!
Cookie Swaps!
Yankee Swaps!
People who talk with their mouths full of food or pick up the phone to
call you and then jam a bunch of food in their mouths right before you
pick up.
Broken 42 inch HD television set sitting in the living room mocking me.
The Jersey Shore for making me love it so much.
People who talk with their mouths full of food or pick up the phone to
call you and then jam a bunch of food in their mouths right before you
pick up.
or people who go out for asian food with you and choke on a grain of rice, walk around in circles and then piss themselves. hate that shit.
Posted by: Mr. Kruger | December 23, 2009 at 09:56 AM
You guys are terrible.
Posted by: Vandelay | December 23, 2009 at 10:17 AM
People who talk with their mouths full of food or pick up the phone to call you and then jam a bunch of food in their mouths right before you pick up.
My mom will sit in my house for an hour and not say a word. Then she'll stuff a bite of pizza in her mouth and suddenly have 20 things to say. I swear to god....
Posted by: Assman | December 23, 2009 at 10:26 AM
My mom will sit in my house for an hour and not say a word. Then she'll stuff a bite of pizza in her mouth and suddenly have 20 things to say. I swear to god....
Dude...we might have the same mom.
Posted by: Vandelay | December 23, 2009 at 11:17 AM
I sure as hell hope
papa isn't in the afterworld checking his facebook wall.
That's fantastic.
Posted by: That French Guy | December 23, 2009 at 11:26 AM
Kruger..you made my day!!
Posted by: Delores | December 23, 2009 at 12:31 PM
I love the people that dedicate the memory of a dead one via their vehicle. How can anyone Rest In Peace properly when they're being told to do so from the back window of your god damn Hyundai?
Posted by: Kenny Bania | December 23, 2009 at 02:38 PM