Kenny Bania Has Some Grievance Gold

(Long time Griever Kenny Bania chimes in with a hangover. Assuredly it'll be gold...)

Coworkers - Most of you suck.  Here's a few notes to jot down.  If I've never bitched heavily about another coworker to you, then I complain about you to someone else.  I accepted your facebook friend request to not be a dick.  Can you read my wall or look at more than one picture?  Yeah.  That's a hint.  Take it.  I thought eating at my desk with my headphones on instead of in the break room would have done the trick, but apparently you're all stupid.  No, I will not be participating in any luncheons.  I'm here for a paycheck.  Kindly fuck off.

Abbreviations in Texting - Why?  There's a thing called T9, or predictive text.  A lot of you also have keyboards.  Don't write anything with numbers.  It's lame.  You're grown, and you communicate like a teenage girl.  I'm not asking for proper punctuation or grammar, but I want you to die if you send things like "2day, l8r, thanx, etc."  Moron.

Graphic Shirts - Your shirt is stupid.  Nice dragon on your button down.  That's real classy with an edge to it.  You're in your 30's.  Fucking grow up.

Twitter - You've deteriorated communication down to the equivalent of a kid pointing at the sky and saying "Airplane!"  I wonder what Ashton Kutcher is thinking?  "2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon."  No.... no I don't wonder what Ashton Kutcher is thinking.

Comments

[Dr. Whatley]

I wonder what Ashton Kutcher is thinking? "2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon." No.... no I don't wonder what Ashton Kutcher is thinking.

Clearly, writing "to" day os much more difficult than writing "2" day. Get with the program Bania.

[Vandelay]

I thought eating at my desk with my headphones on instead of in the break room would have done the trick, but apparently you're all stupid.

That's my move as well but I hear you...nobody connects my anti-socialism with me just not wanting to be around them.

[Assman]

Your shirt is stupid. Nice dragon on your button down. That's real classy with an edge to it. You're in your 30's. Fucking grow up

I may not stop giggling for a while here. Is it hard to know that adults aren't supposed to dress like this? Is it some kind of mystery?

[Kenny Bania]

Skinny Jeans on Men - Why? What do these accomplish aside from lack of mobility? I realize we are in a somewhat civilized society, but if shit goes down the guys in skinny jeans are totally fucked (and not in the way they probably want to be, not that there's anything wrong with that).

The bottom line is that trends are retarded. Watch an old Sinbad show or an 80's movie. I may have had a Cross Colors shirt, a hypercolor tee, tight rolled, wore some Marithé and François Girbaud jeans... but I was a god damn teenager.

"Fashionable" clothes are fucking stupid. Anyone not European and in their 30's should know this already.

[Mr. Kruger]

Twitter - You've deteriorated communication down to the equivalent of a kid pointing at the sky and saying "Airplane!"

exhibit a: "Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us 'time to deliver' on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND."

-senator chuck grassely

who the fuck am i to talk- i can't even be bothered to type a capital letter.

[Schmoopie]

There is a way around the depredations of Twitter's 140-character limit. You can type "today" and "you" and use spaces between words if you break your thought into two tweets. Really. The reader is able to follow along.