I heard about this today at an amusement park near Philadelphia and it actually didn't phase me too much at all. I was busy and didn't really feel like reflecting on it but after hearing many opinions I've come to the conclusion that I sort of care. I saw Al Sharpton on TV tonight bitching about the people who abandoned him and how they don't have the right to come out now and talk about the impact he had on the entertainment world but as every thing that comes out of that guy's mouth is shit...so was that.
I just turned 38 years old which means that I remember a time when Michael Jackson was a cool person. Like most people, I evolved and came to the conclusion later in life that he's a bit of a freak and possibly a criminal and just sort of brushed him off. It didn't make me sad to see what he had become. I didn't feel it necessary to condemn him or to defend him or to explore in any way, shape, or form why this had happened to a guy that was probably the most famous person of his entire generation. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not really ashamed to say that there was a time when I admired the living crap out of Michael Jackson despite the fact that I've viewed him as a complete freak for the past 15 or so years. These two things do not have to be mutually exclusive despite what that piece of shit wants to believe. What I'll remember about him really has nothing to do with him.
I remember the day that Elvis died. I was in the first grade and my mother was extremely upset but I couldn't understand why. He was that fat sweaty mess in the jumpsuit. Since then I've learned a lot about who Elvis was and I came to understand why my mom was so upset that day. I spent the night tonight trying to explain to my six year old why her mother was upset today (it's much easier with the benefit of youtube). I suspect she'll get it someday as well.
I don't know shit about Michael Jackson. What I know is that every time I hear I Wanna Rock With You I think about being a 3rd grader trying not to crack my skull open at the roller skating rink while people flew by me making it look so easy. When I hear Beat It I laugh a little because I remember thinking about how my best friend's parent's were so much cooler than mine because they bought him that stupid red leather zipper jacket. Now I realize that my parents didn't buy it for me because they were the cool ones. When I hear Human Nature, I think about standing in line at Our Lady of Grace Feast with Laura Fenucci waiting for our doughboys. When I hear Thriller, I remember being so pissed off at the world for being one of the last people that didn't have cable and having everyone talk about that video constantly while having to sit there and keep bringing up the latest episode of the Baseball Bunch. When I hear The Way You Make Me Feel I remember being downstairs on my couch making out with my "girlfriend" while my parents were having a dinner party upstairs in the dining room about 30 feet away and thinking I was pulling one over on them. When I hear Remember the Time, I remember the time we actually made sure we scored some beers at URI that night because his new video was debuting on that new kick-ass FOX station that night.
The point is that people can say whatever the hell they want about Michael Jackson and sure people die every day and certainly many people in more honorable ways than he did, but tonight I'll chose to remember him fondly because there were a few years years there where I thought he was simply the coolest human being on this planet. If you were born around the same time that I was, there's a good chance that you did too.
I hear people crying on the radio. And I think to myself: "Self, what the fuck is wrong with people?"
Posted by: jackie | June 26, 2009 at 01:08 AM
I also would be remiss if I did not point out that little thai boys across the world are sleeping just that much easier on the night of June 25, 2009.
Posted by: jackie | June 26, 2009 at 01:10 AM
I also would be remiss if I did not point out that little thai boys across the world are sleeping just that much easier on the night of June 25, 2009.
Not to mention Webster and Corey Feldman.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | June 26, 2009 at 01:26 AM
Maybe now they'll play him on the radio again.
Posted by: Assman | June 26, 2009 at 03:34 AM
Until they realize that they are still in Thailand, of course.
Posted by: Newmaster | June 26, 2009 at 08:28 AM
"When I hear The Way You Make Me Feel I remember being downstairs on my couch making out with my "girlfriend" while my parents were having a dinner party upstairs in the dining room about 30 feet away and thinking I was pulling one over on them."
Why is girlfriend in quotes? Was it not a girl?
"When I hear Remember the Time, I remember the time we actually made sure we scored some beers at URI that night because his new video was debuting on that new kick-ass FOX station that night."
Seriously? That's how you partied back in the day? Get all sauced up for the big Michael Jackson video? I guess I shouldn't be surprised given the ensuing Exhibits A, B, C: let the record show the court has accepted Rick Springfield, Barry Manilow, and Neil Diamond ticket stubs as evidence.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | June 26, 2009 at 09:01 AM
hy is girlfriend in quotes? Was it not a girl?
I didn't have many relationships in HS that lasted more than like 3 weeks. One to be exact. In hindsight I don't really even consider them girlfriends.
You were there, Klompus. Admit it.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | June 26, 2009 at 09:27 AM
There was kid in high school that used to dance from class to class like that. I was so bewildered by this I think it mellowed me out a little bit.
Posted by: Mr. Kruger | June 26, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Every time I hear Say, Say, Say I imagine Michael giggling at Paul McCartney because he knew he'd own him soon.
I think I have a photo of me back in '82 dressed and dancing like MJ. I saw that photo recently and called myself an asshole.
Posted by: Dr. Tim Whatley | June 26, 2009 at 12:10 PM
I saw the press coverage of the scene outside the hospital in LA. All I could think of is: don't any of these fuckers have jobs??
I too have to think fondly of MJ, putting aside the creepy pedophilia accusations. The accusations and the accusers always seemed a bit self-serving to me. Don't get me wrong, MJ clearly had issues. None of us will ever know if those issues were just no sense of propriety or full-blown pedophilia.
What I chose to focus on is that The guy made some of the most popular and entertaining music and music videos made to date. I think Thriller was the first video I ever saw on MTV, back when they actually showed music videos and not shows about vapid white kids who have no discernable skills other than drinking, shopping and screwing.
Jackie, just go back and watch a couple of the Thriller era videos. Remind yourself of the entertainment he provided on stage rather than the salacious headlines others provided for him off it.
Posted by: TMan | June 26, 2009 at 12:31 PM
"Jackie, just go back and watch a couple of the Thriller era videos."
Effeminate jheri curl guy turns into werewolf, then into a dancing zombie, then back into an effeminate jheri curl guy, then back into a dancing zombie.
Gay street gang lead by Davy Lopes has a dancing knife fight with another gay street gang. Jheri curl guy convinces them to join forces and dance past their difference.
Shady dude in a trenchcoat with a penciled moustache tries to catch jheri curl guy wearing a pink shirt and bow tie. Jheri curl guy dances around on the boardwalk of a city with a severe littering problem. Jheri curl guy has the ability to light up whatever he touches.
See what your missing, Jackie?
Posted by: Jack Klompus | June 26, 2009 at 02:27 PM
I got hollered at by a few Facebook friends for being openly blasé about MJ's death. Apparently I have insulted and wounded them by saying it doesn't affect me because it does affect them. And yet they seem to feel no need to apologize to *me* for going on and on about a famous person *they never even met*.
I mean, don't get me wrong--I liked Michael Jackson's music and listened to it when I was a kid/teen, too. But Michael Jackson, the man? Sorry. Not feeling sad there, not any sadder than when any random stranger dies young.
People are all "oh, it's sad because he was so messed up because he was abused." Listen, a-holes, he had a bajillion dollars and could have gotten a shitload of therapy instead of hacking up his face and having untoward fixations on little boys. And I wouldn't be having these thoughts if the "you're hurting our feelings, you callous monster" people hadn't complained. See what they did? Tch.
Posted by: Schmoopie | June 26, 2009 at 02:52 PM
"Every time I hear Say, Say, Say"
How often does that happen, Whatley?
Posted by: Jack Klompus | June 26, 2009 at 04:29 PM
How often does that happen, Whatley?
Before yesterday, three times in 25 years. Yesterday alone I heard it four times. Don't throw me on the fairy bus yet.
Posted by: Dr. Tim Whatley | June 26, 2009 at 05:04 PM
And yet they seem to feel no need to apologize to *me* for going on and on about a famous person *they never even met*...
Schmoopie's entire post knocks it out of the park.
See what your missing, Jackie?
Excellent recap, Klompus. Excellent.
Posted by: jackie | June 26, 2009 at 09:12 PM
Thank you, Jackie. You are now my internet boyfriend.
Posted by: Schmoopie | June 26, 2009 at 10:18 PM
Vandelay are you kidding me?! If you change your ringer to I'm Bad, I'm going to get you a lifetime ban from whiffle! We are the same age and never thought Jackson was cool until Weird Al came out with Eat It! Kurt Cobain affected me, Layne Staley affected me, Michael Jackson not so much. Anyone who can live the American dream of going from a poor black boy to a rich white woman, I don't feel bad for. Maybe jealous it can go $400M in debt and I can't let a $5k credit card bill slip one month and I am getting threatening phone calls.
Posted by: Brody | June 26, 2009 at 10:55 PM
I'm not sure where I said we should feel bad for Michael Jackson. I'm glad only cool people have affected your life though. They have a word for people who list Layne Staley among their greatest influences...douchebags.
I got hollered at by a few Facebook friends for being openly blasé about MJ's death. Apparently I have insulted and wounded them by saying it doesn't affect me because it does affect them.
I scolded Kramer for posting that on Facebook but not because I cared that he didn't care but mainly because of the 57 people before him that posted pretty much the same thing. It was a fun day on Facebook. It's completely amazing how so many people's indifference can result into facebook status updates.
Posted by: Vandelay | June 26, 2009 at 11:19 PM
Kurt Cobain affected me, Layne Staley affected me, Michael Jackson not so much.
If there was a "Things Only White People Can Say" Encyclopedia, this would go in the prologue.
Anyone who can live the American dream of going from a poor black boy to a rich white woman, I don't feel bad for.
Yet, millionaire heroin junkies deserve some kind of affection?
Posted by: Assman | June 28, 2009 at 01:19 PM
"If there was a "Things Only White People Can Say" Encyclopedia, this would go in the prologue."
Probably after the following commandments:
"If we had a White Entertainment Network, or all-white awards ceremonies, people would be up in arms."
"Larry Bird made all of his teammates better backetball players. Michael Jordan did not."
"Both Colin Powell and Barack Hussein Obama are unique because they are very well-spoken, articulate."
"Michael Vick should have faced the death penalty for his involvement in dog fighting."
Posted by: Jack Klompus | June 28, 2009 at 08:11 PM
I'm just happy to hear of someone else that really sucked at skating. I was awful. I was the kid who could only go in a straight line. I had to stop at the side of the circle, adjust, and then push off the wall (no walled sides resulted in a couple falls). Luckily I didn't subject myself to that much embarrassment. Only when my jam came on - Supersonic by J.J. Fad.
Posted by: Kenny Bania | June 30, 2009 at 11:09 AM
I was the kid who could only go in a straight line. I had to stop at the side of the circle, adjust, and then push off the wall (no walled sides resulted in a couple falls).
Wicked funny. Same exact routine, here.
Posted by: Vandelay | June 30, 2009 at 04:40 PM
Swear to god, it sounds like Bania and Vandelay are talking about sexual problems.
Posted by: Schmoopie | June 30, 2009 at 06:09 PM
"Swear to god, it sounds like Bania and Vandelay are talking about sexual problems."
Sexual identity perhaps. Male rollerskating. Will that be one blade...or two?
Posted by: Jack Klompus | June 30, 2009 at 06:39 PM
So not only have you never enjoyed a Michael Jackson song but you've never rollerskated? What were you doing in the 3rd grade? Listening to Charlie Parker records while smoking pipes?
Posted by: Vandelay | June 30, 2009 at 10:40 PM
"So not only have you never enjoyed a Michael Jackson song but you've never rollerskated? Listening to Charlie Parker records while smoking pipes"
Oh yeah, fuck me. Didn't say I never enjoyed a Michael Jackson song. I just never liked him enough (past the age of 8) wherein I would attend a college tailgate party for one of his video premieres. Most people outside of the continent of Asia wouldn't have either.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 01, 2009 at 12:14 AM
Swear to god, it sounds like Bania and Vandelay are talking about sexual problems.
Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do want to have sex with me right now? Let's go! C'mon, let's go baby!
Posted by: Kenny Bania | July 01, 2009 at 09:01 AM
wherein I would attend a college tailgate party for one of his video premieres
That's not an accurate description of how that went down. I just remember being drunk and waiting for the new video to come on. If i could go back in time would I punch myself in the face? Maybe.
Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do want to have sex with me right now? Let's go! C'mon, let's go baby!
Hey, that's my line.
Posted by: Vandelay | July 01, 2009 at 10:42 AM
"I just remember being drunk and waiting for the new video to come on."
Well, the story suddenly has a much more casual tone to it. Before it was: "we actually made sure we scored some beers at URI that night because his new video was debuting". How I could I have jumped to such an outrageous conclusion...
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 01, 2009 at 11:21 AM
I mean it's possible that it could have gone down that way but it was 20 years ago and it does seem a little ludicrous when you think about it. I was just trying to emphasize that for like 10 years, everything he did was an event. I apologize for my libelous transgression.
Posted by: Vandelay | July 01, 2009 at 12:17 PM