This Ought To End The Debate (Updated)

There it is, dog. When they're not being invaded by ze Russians, marrying fat girls at the local Waffle House, harboring the corpses of dead wrestlers and their choked-out families or overjoyed that Jack Klompus has finally moved out of the neighborhood, Georgians are finally finding Bigfoot corpses and putting them in freezers for posterity.

This post could have very easily been about the fact that Georgia's premier scientific minds are hanging out with each other in camouflage pajamas and have what appear to be bionic attachments on their left arms, but instead, I'll just focus on the fact that we finally found Bigfoot, bitches! China may have little girls that can hella flip for medals, but them fuckers ain't found no yeti corpses, have they?

Woo!!!! U-S-A! U-S-A!!!!

Updated 8/19...

And then this happened.

Turns out the finest scientific minds in Georgia are also a couple of lying-assed motherfuckers who faked the photograph with a rubber suit. They seduced me with their bionic arm attachments, promises of Sasquatch corpses and trademark Georgian redneck moustaches®, then turned out to be... get this... only in it for the money. Suck my easily misled balls, Georgia scientists that aren't really scientists even though I keep calling you that. Suck em good, suck em deep... suck em from the heart.

I suppose there's no integrity left in the world of Bigfoot grave robbing.

Comments

[Dude from Georgia, the one that's an American state]

Enough with the jokes based on confusing Georgia, the American state, with Georgia, the former Soviet republic. There's a state and a country with the same name, get it? Ha ha! Jeez.

And I would say enough with the jokes based on Georgians (the American ones) being rednecks, but I know those aren't going to stop anytime soon (and quite frankly, with people like those referenced in this post, how can they?)

[Assman]

Enough with the jokes based on confusing Georgia, the American state, with Georgia, the former Soviet republic. There's a state and a country with the same name, get it? Ha ha! Jeez.

Also found quite often in Georgia - men with rigid sticks shoved several feet up their asses.

I'll make all the corny jokes I see fit. Here's another:

Who's willing to bet that the dude on the left had to have the can of PBR photoshopped out of his hand before this picture was submitted to the paper?

[Craig]

So when is this press conference today when they release the "evidence"?

Also, one of the dudes involved has been involved in a hoax before where he claimed to have a live specimen that he would reveal to the public, and then it just kinda went away when he didn't have anything to show.

Now we just need Jeff Corwin to show up and tell them it's a racoon.

[Craig]

Who's willing to bet that the dude on the left had to have the can of PBR photoshopped out of his hand

That could explain why it looks so weird.

My favorite thing about the picture is that if a different type of conspiracy theorist got a hold of this picture, they would be freaking about the fact that the guy in brown has a "spirit orb" in front of him. Bigfoot is clearly being guarded by ghosts.

[Jack Klompus]

@Douche from Georgia, the one that's American state
"And I would say enough with the jokes based on Georgians (the American ones) being rednecks, but I know those aren't going to stop anytime soon (and quite frankly, with people like those referenced in this post, how can they?)"

Who needs the photo when you have this quote from the article:
"Mr. Dyer said. “But these people wasn’t there when I was sweating, pulling this thing through the woods.”

Dern tootin' they wasn't.

[Assman]

My favorite thing about the picture is that if a different type of conspiracy theorist got a hold of this picture, they would be freaking about the fact that the guy in brown has a "spirit orb" in front of him. Bigfoot is clearly being guarded by ghosts.

Or... is it Bigfoot's ghost saying, "Man, I fucked up. We've been walking the earth for 3,000 years, and I've got to be the first Bigfoot retard to get caught. Way to go..."?

[Jack Klompus]

"My favorite thing about the picture is that if a different type of conspiracy theorist got a hold of this picture, they would be freaking about the fact that the guy in brown has a "spirit orb" in front of him."

Well here I was thinking I could see the images of Christ in Bigfoot's face and the Virgin Mary in his intestines.

[Vandelay]

You forgot about auctioning off old furnaces with detached limbs inside of them.

[Jack Klompus]

"You forgot about auctioning off old furnaces with detached limbs inside of them."

That wasn't Georgia, All-Star. That was Cackalacky.

[Dr. Tim Whatley]

Also, one of the dudes involved has been involved in a hoax before where he claimed to have a live specimen that he would reveal to the public, and then it just kinda went away when he didn't have anything to show.

And in a few years this asshat will be out there saying that he caught the Loch Ness monster and it was really in Lake Lanier.

[Vandelay]

Now we just need Jeff Corwin to show up and tell them it's a racoon.

Seriously though, how does a paper like the Times not think to get Corbin's take on this?

Klompus, they all look the same to me.

[Mr. Kruger]

Looks like they blasted it with a shot gun. Is that fake guts pouring out of it?

[Jack Klompus]

Come to think of it, it looks like someone killed the Clarence Beaks character from Trading Places.

[bethany]

Saw on the news today that the tests done on the samples provided were: human, possum, and unidentified...hmmm
They interviewed a Canadian reporter who had flown down on his boss' dime and even he said it was a stupid waste of money!

[Newman]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO