Shave and a Haircut?

I like my barber.  He does a good job on my hair (and this is something that is nearly impossible).  However, I hate the chit chat.  I try to answer each question with one word answers, but yet he doesn't get the message that I don't want to talk.  At the same barbershop, I notice other customers in in-depth conversations, chest bumping, and giving intricate handshakes with their barber.  Is there some interpersonal relationship that I'm missing out on here? 

Furthermore, the barbershop is really racially mixed.  However, white people only get their hair cut by the white/latino barbers; while black people only get their hair cut by the black barbers.  One time, when I was in a hurry, I thought I could get my haircut before an interview.  When I showed up, there were no white/latino barbers to cut my hair.  I wanted a haircut, and I really didn't care who did it; as long as my hair was cut.  I was the only person in line, yet the three barbers were really taking their time with their current customers.  I felt like they were trying to go as slow as possible because they didn't want to be the one to cut the white person's hair (example:  one guy had a shaved head, yet the barber was still fiddling around with it for 20 minutes).  After over an hour of waiting, I ended up having to leave after because time was short.  I left angry; but after I thought about it, I wondered if they didn't want to cut my hair because they weren't sure how to style a white persons hair.  Anyway, let's say I go back and have the time, and there are two barbers available: one white (not my barber) and one black.  Should I go with the white person under the assumption that he/she is trained to cut only white people's hair?  I'm not sure on the etiquette here.

Comments

[Craig]

Is there some interpersonal relationship that I'm missing out on here?

Had you asked me this in the past, I would say no, because I always prefer being left pretty much alone. However, now I have my hair cut by a woman who is very talkative and really fun, so I can see the appeal of the chit chat. I guess it really comes down to whether you find someone you are really comfortable with and if you want to always go to the same person (since obviously, you'll never have that relationship when you switch all the time).

Anyway, let's say I go back and have the time, and there are two barbers available: one white (not my barber) and one black. Should I go with the white person under the assumption that he/she is trained to cut only white people's hair? I'm not sure on the etiquette here.

I'm white and couldn't even try to pass for anything else other than really, really white. I've had my hair cut by people who are white, latino and black, and have never really seen any difference in who can do a good job. There are plenty who screw up my remarkable simple haircut in all groups as well as plenty who can do it just fine. Then again, maybe it's because cutting my hair is so simple that it doesn't matter.

[Art Vandelay]

I've been going to the same barber since the second grade. He's an old school Italian guy who has probably cut my hair 300 times. Incidentally, I've had the same hair cut since the second grade. He gives me a glass of homemade wine and asks me for investment advice and I have to remind him that I'm not a financial advisor every time I go in. He knows when I feel like chatting and when I don't. It's a nice comfort zone. Also, he takes about 10 minutes whcih is nice.

Crazy Joe, , if I understand the story correctly, you walk into a barber shop and there are three black barbers cutting the hair of three black clients and you sat there for about an hour? They took an hour to cut hair while there was a customer waiting? I would have went ballistic. I suppose it's entirely possible that the three black barbers don't know how to cut white people hair (why is it so impossible to do a good job of cutting your hair anyway?) but if that were the case, one of them should have just told you that. I don't know why it would just be implied. More than likely, whether you know it or not...you were a victim of the big D.

[NJR]

As far as your relationship with your barber, I've found that barbers typically respond to the customer. That is, if you are talkative, they are talkative; if you are a "get me in the chair - cut my hair - let me leave" type of person, chit-chat will be kept to a minimum.

For the "open barber" issue, I would have to say go to the person that offers to take you, I'm assuming one of the two will make some sort of eye-contact/gesture to let you know they are available. Both barbers should be trained to cut your hair, however, in most cases it's a matter of how much practice one has with the hairstyle in question (and to be honest, when getting a haircut, I prefer to go to the most skilled - otherwise I'd just go to stylist schools and get my haircut by students).

[Assman]

example: one guy had a shaved head, yet the barber was still fiddling around with it for 20 minutes

Why was this guy in a barber shop? Do they sell weed there?

[Jack Klompus]

I've been to a barber shop before where I was refused a haircut because I was white. But let me clarify: the barber, a black guy, said he was only trained to style "black hair." He said sorry and he didn't want to make a mistake doing something he wasn't any good at. Personally, I appreciated that honesty. And I appreciated it 10-fold when the hot Asian girl was available to cut my hair 20 minutes later. It was well worth the extra wait to have her fake boobs 5 inches from my face off and on for 30 minutes. It was like a lap dance hair cut. I'd still be going to her if she hadn't left. I'm assuming she either went back to her job as a full time "dancer" or "masseuse."

Nonetheless, my current barber is black and doesn't my cutting my cracker straw hair. He likes to talk sports, as do I -- and I enjoy the banter. Plus, I get free High Life. All part of the experience.

[Art Vandelay]

Plus, I get free High Life.

That's just awesome. Are they the stubbies?

[Jack Klompus]

"Are they the stubbies?"

Hell no. It's the real deal. They are certified purveyors.

[Babu]

You could always just ask your favorite barber what days he has off, then not go on those days...my guy Charlie is off Wed and Sat, no problem.

[C. Joe Davola]

Its impossible to get a good haircut, because I have terrible hair. I've been to expensive barbers and cheap barbers and the result is usually the same: a terrible haircut. That's why I'm usually not too particular about my barber, as long as its cheap. This new guy does an admirable job and I've been going back to the same shop.

My friends in college would kill me everytime I came back from the barber. If I had a hat on, they would chase me down until I took it off.

Making appointments for a barber or finding out when they work is not my style. I usually just roll the dice and hope for the best. If my guy is there great, otherwise sit down and enjoy the ride.

[eric]

my barbershop issue is this: should i say something to my barber if he is on his cell phone while cutting my hair? he does a decent job, but i hate that he is cutting my hair with one hand while he's chit chatting on the phone.

[Jack Klompus]

"but i hate that he is cutting my hair with one hand while he's chit chatting on the phone."

If he's gonna be a douchebag, he may as well complete the uniform with a bluetooth.

[Craig]

He gives me a glass of homemade wine

It was well worth the extra wait to have her fake boobs 5 inches from my face off and on for 30 minutes. It was like a lap dance hair cut.

Plus, I get free High Life.

Where are you people going to get your haircut? (Also, Vandelay: He hasn't been giving you the homemade wine since second grade, has he?)

If he's gonna be a douchebag, he may as well complete the uniform with a bluetooth.

Well done, Klompus. Well done.

[Kenneth]

Of course I understand the questions about the white guy, the old school barber and the black barbers. Although I do not intend to say that I have the answer but I do have a couple of thoughts. The problem you spoke of, and the possible answers you gave may be just that. The thing is CULTURE, maybe the black barbers did not want to put you in the position of being uncomfortable by having to refuse your haircut by them, it is a business and hopefully they want to make you as comfortable as possible. Maybe they feel that they do not know hoe to cut a white persons' hair as well as they can a black person. Maybe there is something about you they do not like.Lol. But for sure, you should ask one of the black guys if he has any kind of problem cutting your hair! That would be the best answer because apparently your old school barber does not catch your interest or enjoyment of a conversation with you.There could be about Ten answers to the questions that you proposed but the right answer will only come from the black barbers. Maybe you should ask them if you are willing to learn a little bit of their culture, and exercise it will they cut your hair. Or will they cut your hair while you stay white cultured, because the old school barber's rap just does not interest me.

[Jack Klompus]

"Of course I understand the questions about the white guy, the old school barber and the black barbers."

Did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Colored Boy who went to heaven?

[jackie]

"Did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Colored Boy who went to heaven?"

No, I didn't. But this Hasidic Homeboy is thinking two outta three ain't bad.

As for the topic, I know some bruthas who would rather get caught eating a smelly fat chicks poonanie than letting a white dude cut their hair.

[Jack Klompus]

"No, I didn't. But this Hasidic Homeboy is thinking two outta three ain't bad."

When Chiles' misses my Caddyshack quote, it's time to stop using that movie reference.

[Craig]

When Chiles' misses my Caddyshack quote, it's time to stop using that movie reference.

Wasn't there just a really long discussion where it was noted that Chiles is as familiar with movies that everybody has seen as Vandelay is with current events?

(note: I haven't ever seen all of Caddyshack, so I'm not any better off, I suppose.)

[Jack Klompus]

"Wasn't there just a really long discussion"

I don't know, were you involved? If so, then yes.

"where it was noted that Chiles is as familiar with movies that everybody has seen as Vandelay is with current events?"

That was Assman. You weren't kidding about all AofG'ers looking alike to you. Especially the Samoan ones.

[Assman]

I don't know, were you involved? If so, then yes.

BAM!

That was Assman. You weren't kidding about all AofG'ers looking alike to you. Especially the Samoan ones.

Actually, it was Chiles too. Or perhaps you couldn't tell us apart? I'm the one with the bone in the nose, not the ears.

[Jack Klompus]

"Actually, it was Chiles too. Or perhaps you couldn't tell us apart? I'm the one with the bone in the nose, not the ears."

I guess I just assumed you were Afa and he was Sika. So, fuck Klompus.

[Art Vandelay]

I don't know, were you involved? If so, then yes.

Wow.

[Craig]

I don't know, were you involved? If so, then yes.

Look, you can mock all you want (and I'm sure you will) but it's not my fault if explaining the simplest of things in terms you can understand requires a few extra words. However, in the interest of keeping the peace (i.e. making you shut up) I'll do my best to keep things short and simple and more along the lines of things you are used to reading. Pat the Bunny isn't too hard for you, is it?

You weren't kidding about all AofG'ers looking alike to you. Especially the Samoan ones.

Actually it's mostly just you and Vandelay.

Actually, it was Chiles too. Or perhaps you couldn't tell us apart? I'm the one with the bone in the nose, not the ears.

You know, none of you are really helping with figuring out who is who. "I'm white." "No, I'm not." "I'm Samoan." "No, just kidding." "I love the Pats." "I hate the Pats."

[Craig]

I don't know, were you involved? If so, then yes.

Oh, and one more thing I forgot to mention in my faux-tirade: That really was pretty clever. I actually laughed aloud here in my office.

[Assman]

"I love the Pats." "I hate the Pats."

Depends. Are we talking about my fantasy team or are we talking about real life?

[Jack Klompus]

"but it's not my fault if explaining the simplest of things in terms you can understand requires a few extra words."

A few extra? I pretty much understood immediately that you were privy to the pedophiliac undertones of old Santa tunes. Didn't need your albumography and lyric footnotes to complete my comprehension of that.

"Pat the Bunny isn't too hard for you, is it?"

From the link: "Pat the Bunny is a "touch and feel" book for small children."

Not for nothing, but you have a commanding lead in the "A of G Creepy" standings.

[zumba]

i hate getting my hair cut.

I'm not looking for a friend or "an experience"

I want short back and sides and the top smartened up as quickly as possible.

not looking for any chit-chat. want my cutter to focus on the job at hand and ask salient questions for efficiency of everyone's time.

I do not have a problem with answering a couple of well intentioned questions, but when I answer shortly (and politely) a couple of open questions that would make someone who actualy wants to have a banter would use to open a convesration - I have no problem with the fact that some folks like that approach, its just not what I'm looking for.

that said, I'm an enigma as I like the banter with barstaff - this is almost certainly to do with the fact that I actually enjoy being in bars.

[Nordy]

I've seen your hair. You should just shave it.

[tony]

I get mine cut by black people cuz they do nice fades
But recently my barber was too busy to do my hair and I went somewhere else
When I went to the other barber he gave me ring worm
So stick with someone u trust
No matter how stuck for time you are
Black people do a good job
He'll I cut my friends hair all the time white or black
Just pay attention to other people gettin it done
I'm sure they knew how to cut ur hair
Black peoples hair is way different
That is why it takes twice as long even if they have a shaved head
So just speak up next time

[Real Deal]

When black/ latino people cut hair in America they tend to cut the side. This damages the hairline and is against the Bible. They don't want to cut your hair and mess it up.

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