Tradition is Tradition

So, here's the dilemma I face.

Several years ago, before the internet became as prominent as it is, a friend of mine from college that I emailed back and forth about the NBA with challenged me to keep an NBA draft journal.  I did it, emailed it to him and a few friends, and we all had a bunch of fun with it.  I did it again the next year and, once I became a blogger, kept it up by posting them online instead of by email.  So for the past seven or so years, I've kept an NBA draft journal and loved every second of it.

But now, thanks to the popularity of Bill Simmons and his NBA draft diary, right now, there are about 800,000 college students, sports bloggers and random internet jackasses doing the exact same thing.  So, I'm faced with this issue.  I can either say, "fuck it - it's been done - let the kids have it" and concede that it's better to be original than be a face in the crowd, or I can keep it up and enjoy pretty much the only remaining day of the year that my wife will say things like, "You want me to order you a couple of pizzas before I leave you alone to watch sports on TV all night?"

Yeah.  I'm not giving that up.  At least not yet.

Let me set the stage for you.  I'm in my living room with a two pound bag of chocolate covered pretzels, various snack items with enough combined sodium to preserve King Kong's corpse and a gang of Japanese beers called Asahi.  I would have gone for a normal German beer, but this week I bought my groceries from the indie natural food store and they only sell the brands of food that would be esoteric enough to carry on Sub-Pop Records.  The Japanese beer was the only one that didn't appear to be brewed from fermented wood chips or flavored with patchouli oil, so there you have it.

My team, Indiana, doesn't have:

• a draft pick,
• a player I wouldn't be happier to see on another team's roster, or
• the apparent ability to trade one for the other without taking on $45 million worth of warm Dunleavy

...so my interest in this draft is strictly peripheral.  The local team (Phoenix) has some late first round action, so, given that they're closest to me, I'll go ahead and transfer my vested interest in today's events to them.  Let's go, Suns.  Try not to draft the next Jamaal Tinsley.

(Hang on for a moment - I'm crying)

• The draft pre-show opens with a shot of the Portland Trailblazers' war room.  There are several laptops and random papers strewn about in an effort to make it seem as though they have things going on.  In all honesty, all they need is a piece of paper that says "Greg Oden," so I'm not sure what the posturing is for.  Are they keeping track of draft day rumors or shaking their heads at the Mel Brooks level comedy of Deadspin's Up All Night?  We'll never know.
• Jay Bilas is one of our hosts tonight along with Steven A. Smith, Mark Jackson and Mike Tirico.  I don't know Jay personally, but I get the feeling he clutched his purse just a little bit tighter before he sat down at the table.  He seems like that guy to me.
  
  By the way, I'm sure the 800,000 other folks doing this tonight will make several jokes about the announcing crew.  I'll leave that stuff to them, since I'm fairly apathetic about the whole thing.
• Okay - I'll just say the one thing.  Right now, Jay is talking about Oden and describing the qualities needed in a franchise center.  Amusing.  I suppose next Mark Jackson will regale us with stories about the best way to complete a 360 slam dunk?  If Jay opens his mouth, I want to hear him talk about the impending roster cuts and television career of Josh McRoberts.  You know... stuff he can relate to.  (And I'm done.)
• Dick Vitale just described Greg Oden by saying he has the defense of Patrick Ewing, the drive of Hakeem Olajuwon and the courage of Tim Duncan.  I wonder why he failed to mention that he has the post moves of Brent Price and the fouling tendencies of Tie Domi?
• I just saw a commercial where a teenaged girl's dog stopped her in the kitchen and told her he wished she would stop smoking weed.  Uh... thanks for the intervention, dog, but if she can hear you speaking, I think LSD might be the bigger concern at the moment.  Who greenlit this?
• Mike Conley and Greg Oden are being interviewed together and are talking about how they've been friends since the 6th grade.  I'll admit I'm not an expert on these matters... but I kinda get the vibe that they've at least gotten to first base with each other.  That friendship is just a little too chummy, I think.
• For those keeping track, 800,000 bloggers are now making jokes about Joakim Noah's suit.  I'm opting out, but you should probably go read them.  I'm guessing more than a few are funny.
• I just saw, for the second time tonight, a commercial for Las Vegas that had women in it that were more or less saying, "I'm not usually a whore, but in Vegas?  Maybe I can be convinced..."  So, here's the question:  Does Vegas really need commercials?  Did anyone see that and think, "Wait... this Vegas place has hotels, casinos and alcohol?  Is there a brochure I can read?"  I don't get it.
• I wonder whose job it is to make the little NBA team backdrops for Rachel Nichols and Sal Paolantonio to stand in front of while they pretend to give the audience information they might care about?  Seems like there's an art to it.  And if we get to see the Pacers' backdrop tonight, I hope it has a large vulture leering over Larry Bird's shoulders.
• Oh yeah - there's a draft going on.  The Blazers just took Greg Oden first.  I think Mike Conley just balled up a trembling fist, bit his bottom lip and cried a little.
• Here's another joke you'll read 800,000 times today.  Greg Oden's mom looks like she's about 22 years old, so... I'm guessing his dad is a Geico Caveman?
• Ray Allen was just traded to the Celtics for Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West and the 5th pick in the draft (wasn't Ray the 5th pick when he got drafted?) and Andy Katz reports that the 5th pick will be used to draft Jeff Green.  In other words, nobody is ever going to tell Andy Katz private infomation about who they're planning to draft ever again.
• The Sonics just drafted Kevin Durant.  He's been an NBA player for 47 seconds and he's already scored more career points than Ed Pinckney.  This can only end well.
• Atlanta's on the clock, and I wish we'd get a quick peek into their war room.  I'm assuming it'd have six monkeys pressing buttons on BlackBerries and three executives watching reruns of Married with Children.
• This just in - Kevin Durant just made the 2008 NBA All-Star game.
• The Hawks drafted Al Horford, which is shocking, since I figured they'd go with the local guy, Chris Benoit.  (Shh... the people in the Hawks organization tend to be idiots.)
• Al Horford just gave an interview in an accent that sounded more like someone you'd expect to be drafted by the Orioles.  Didn't see that coming.  His last name is Horford, for chrissakes.  I didn't realize the Hawks needed depth at 3rd base.
• By the way, I like this pick.  Al Horford dominated Greg Oden when they played Ohio State during the regular season and even played him effectively enough to pick up the championship the second time around.  He used his shoulders effectively and negated Oden's defense, which should demonstrate how well his post play will translate against bigger NBA defenders.  (I figured I'd toss some actual basketball discussion in there.  Why not?)
• The Grizzlies take Mike Conley.  His scouting report should read "Not Chris Paul."
• I'm not gonna lie - this Asahi actually makes me hate Jay Bilas less.  That's powerful stuff.  I recommend it to others.
• ESPN just showed footage of Mike Conley Sr. winning a slam dunk contest a few years back by slamming down an awkward foul line dunk.  One wrinkle they didn't mention?  His competition was Willie Roaf.  Not so impressive now, is it?
• As inadvisably reported by Andy Katz, the Celtics drafted Jeff Green for Seattle.  Which means someone in their front offices actually said the following:

  "Well, we just traded our shooting guard for a small forward and a draft pick.  Our best remaining player from last season is a small forward.  We just drafted a small forward with the second pick.  Say... uh... what do you guys say we take a small forward here?"

  I fully expect to hear the crew make a big deal of this.
• Bilas: "He passes the ball well."
  Smith: "They wanted a young nucleus."
  Jax: "..."
  
  (I think I just lost faith in these guys.)
• So, if I'm reading these Sprite commercials correctly... the main ingredients are lemon, lime, paintballs and basement-brewed PCP?
• And, while I'm spending more time analyzing commercials than I am the actual draft, I have to admit I can't figure out a way this Transformers movie could look any worse.  I mean, maybe it could trade Megatron for Wally Szczerbiak and a pick, but that's about it.
• The Bucks drafted Yi Jianlian and, somewhere, Andrew Bogut just shattered the drinking glass he was holding in his fist.
• They're showing some clips of Yi playing, being 87 pounds and demonstrating worse footwork than Billy Ray Cyrus.  I think Tim Duncan just got an erection.
• By the way, Yi's agent is saying they're upset because Yi didn't want to play in a city where there are no Chinese people.  Yet, when Steve Francis got upset about being drafted by Vancouver, he was an asshole?  I'm not sure I understand the difference.
• Minnesota just drafted Corey Brewer, whose agent has as much ground to stand on as Yi's at this point.  My favorite thing about this pick?  It basically says... Trenton Hassell?  Fuck you!  Rashad McCants?  Fuck you!  Ricky Davis?  Fuck you!  Mark Blount?  You're cool.  Randy Foye?  Fuck your mother!!
• The Bobcats take Brandan Wright.  It's a good pick.  Not as good as these pretzels, but still pretty good.
• Stuart Scott just asked Brandan Wright if teams should be concerned that he couldn't benchpress 185 pounds.  Er... since when do NBA groupies weigh more than 185 pounds?  Or does a basketball player ever need to be able to bench anything besides women?  How heavy is a diamond encrusted medallion?
• The Bulls draft Joakim Noah, which basically means the Bulls now lead the league in afros per forward.  Meanwhile, Kirk Hinrich's assist totals just dropped by 2 per game.  Sorry.
• The Kings draft Spencer Hawes.  Brad Miller just asked his agent to remind the team that he still exists and doesn't need a doppelganger quite yet.
• The Hawks draft Acie Law IV.  This beer is absolutely starting to fuck with me.  I think the Hawks just made two good picks in a row.  And Rachel Nichols is really, really pretty.  Has she always been this pretty?  Wow.
• The Sixers draft Thaddeus Young.  Every year, if you look at draft history, you'll notice there are about 6 guys in the middle of the first round that make you say, "Oh yeah - that guy.  Did he ever play?  Where'd he go?"  Thaddeus is one of the six this year.  Just a heads up.
• The Hornets, who need a shooter, draft Julian Wright, who cannot shoot.  Right now, 800,000 bloggers are having their way with this one.  Do they sell Asahi in Louisiana?  Because they're about as drunk as I am.
• I... I once masturbated watching the Weather Channel.  It was in college.  I... I suppose I was still learning about myself...
• The Clippers just took Al Thornton and guaranteed he'll never see any court time.  File him under "Young, Thaddeus."
• Stu Scott just asked what advantage Al will have being a 24 year old rookie.  He gave some jive assed answer about experience.  Look... when his rookie contract is up, he'll be my age, and I wouldn't give myself a six year contract extension on anything.  A mortgage, a t-shirt... anything.  My knees are shot, baby.  Good luck, Al.
• Detroit is on the clock.  Can you draft a coach?  Just a guy to come in and give Flip a breather during the playoffs or whenever major staffing decisions need to be made.  That'd fill a need.  Their other needs include more people willing to live in the city, Robocop and a 10 degree climate shift.  They should have traded down.
• They draft Rodney Stuckey, who is none of those things.  I'd be pissed if the Pistons drafted me.  Like I need Sheed yelling at me all the time.  Shit all stressful.
• Mark Jackson hasn't aged in 15 years by the way.  Merits mentioning.
• The Wizards take Nick Young and I love the pick.  Then again I'm drunk.  They could have drafted Julie Delpy and I'd be raving about her high ceiling, small breasts and accurate jumper.
• The Knicks traded Channing Frye and Steve Francis to Portland for Zach Randolph, Dan Dickau and Fred Jones.  So, essentially, they traded 2 guys with motivation issues for 3 guys with motivation issues.  That trade should be subtitled "Apathy."
• The Nets draft Sean Williams, who was stupid enough to get in trouble for smoking pot.  Last year, they drafted a guy stupid enough to get in trouble for stealing laptops.  Maybe I'm jumping the gun here, but there's a chance they're targeting a few pro wrestling fans in the second round...
• My brother, a Golden State fan calls me before their pick.  He wants Javaris Crittenton because they could use a point guard to cover for Baron Davis' inevitable injury.  Makes sense to me.
• So, amid his tears, they draft Marco Belinelli who combines Vinny Del Negro's hair and Brent Barry's jumpshot form.  But, hey, at least he looks good in eye shadow.
• Jim Gray is a ninny.  There's no other way to say it.
• If the Lakers draft Jason Smith here, there's a good chance Kobe gets caught on camera strangling Mitch Kupchak in the next week.  Cross your fingers.
• They draft Javaris, who has the same height, weight, breast size and skill set of Smush Parker, who they decided they don't like.  Faaaan-tastic.
• Dick Vitale needs to undo the top button on that polo shirt.  He lives in Florida for chrissakes.
• The Heat just drafted Jason Smith.  In the audience, we see Jon Koncak, Joe Wolf and Joe Klein all clapping in smug approval.
• Kevin Durant just dunked on Jason Smith.
• The Sixers just drafted Daquan Cook and traded him for Jason Smith.  And, just to be fair, Kevin Durant is now dunking on Daquan instead.
• The Bobcats take Jared Dudley.  By the way - in case I wasn't clear about this... you will never hear the names of the last three people who got drafted again outside of statements like, "Oh yeah - well, they drafted Jared Dudley while (insert player here) was still on the board.  They're idiots."
• The Knicks are on the clock now and it just occured to me.  With Curry and Randolph in the frontcourt, who's going to play defense or block shots?  David Lee?  Nope...
• The Knicks drafted Wilson chandler.  Can he block shots?  Dwyane Wade just started licking his chops.
• The Suns, with whom my faux interest lies, sold the next draft pick to Portland for cash.  Well... if they don't give a shit, I know I certainly don't.
• And the pick is Rudy Fernandez, who would have been an excellent pick for my Pacers.  Do we not have cash?!  If all it takes to get into the first round to draft the players you need is cash, and you don't spend it because you can't wait to write a $5 million check to Marquis Daniels next season, then you don't deserve to win.  It hurts.
• The Jazz take Morris Almond.  He sounds delicious.
• Houston takes Aaron Brooks.  Prepare to read 800,000 jokes akin to "I hope they don't mind interceptions" all day.
• The Pistons take Arron Affalo despite having just drafted Stuckey.  Meanwhile, Rip Hamilton phones his agent...
• I just saw a trailer for The Bronx is Burning.  Isn't this Summer of Sam in disguise?  Seriously - I'm asking.  I'm drunk and I can't really tell.
• The Spurs draft Tiago Splitter and never plan to bring him onto the actual roster.  But hey - free ring next summer, eh, Tiago?
• Phoenix takes Alando Tucker.  I guess they didn't need cash anymore.  Or, you know, talent.
• Last pick of the first round?  Some foreign guy.  Too drunk to type now.  Me sleep.

Comments

[jackie]

I just saw a trailer for The Bronx is Burning. Isn't this Summer of Sam in disguise? Seriously - I'm asking. I'm drunk and I can't really tell.

Hey Assman, I just got in and I am too hammered to read what I'm sure is your ridiculous brilliance. However, I saw this line and felt good about a "great minds think alike" vibe. Spike already did this, and he did it well. yYt another reason for espn to go fuck itself.

[Jack Klompus]

I thought about doing this very same thing, but I'm glad I didn't for 2 reasons:

1. I wouldn't have done it justice the way you did. Nice work. You make it look effortless.

2. Stephen A. Smith. There's a chance I would have been TV shopping today had I watched it.

In any event, a few thoughts on your post:

"And, while I'm spending more time analyzing commercials than I am the actual draft, I have to admit I can't figure out a way this Transformers movie could look any worse."

Glad you brought it up. I'm sure I'm gonna catch heat for this, but I'm gonna say it: Sci-fi can't be cool no matter what you do with it. Under any circumstances. Period. Why? Because it's the geek franchise that drives it. Same way wrastlin' geniuses drive Professional Wrestling (okay, I need a transfusion -- that Benoit post is still in my bloodstream). And don't anyone challenge this with anything that rhymes with "atrix," alright? Or I'll fuckin' have you thrown out of the courtroom.

"Ray Allen was just traded to the Celtics for Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West and the 5th pick in the draft (wasn't Ray the 5th pick when he got drafted?) and Andy Katz reports that the 5th pick will be used to draft Jeff Green."

While I was excited to see Wally Piano-biak gone, I was also then nervous that McRoberts was still in play. With the Celtics down to only one slow cracker (Scalabrine), the possibility was looming.

"By the way, Yi's agent is saying they're upset because Yi didn't want to play in a city where there are no Chinese people."

Is there such a city? I mean, I'm sure Milwaukee has at least one Dry Cleaner.

"They could have drafted Julie Delpy and I'd be raving about her high ceiling, small breasts and accurate jumper. "

No shit. She's like the anti-Mickelson. It's pretty bad when, in a movie, a girl goes to take off her top and you're like "No!" And when she instead turns into a werewolf, you're actually relieved to see her furry trunk instead of those mosquito bites. For fuck's sake, Julie, at least talk to Dr. 90210 about your options.

"I just saw a trailer for The Bronx is Burning. Isn't this Summer of Sam in disguise? Seriously - I'm asking. I'm drunk and I can't really tell."

I'm thinking Turturro used the same prosthetic ears to play Billy Martin as he did when he played Howard Cosell in "Monday Night Mayhem." Seriously, it's not even the All-Star break and we need to find some way to reinvigorate the Yankees? Fuck that.

[Art Vandelay]

Awesome. I'm gonna skip the other 799,999 and just read this one. I might have to clear some work out of the way first so I can read it with a clear conscience.

Ainge should be fired now. He made his team good enough to make the playoffs so that he can keep his job and continue to screw things up for the next five years.

After a brief skim...

Yes, Rachel Nichols is that pretty...it wasn't the beer.

"Morris Almond sounds delicious"...might have been the beer.

[Jack Klompus]

"I... I once masturbated watching the Weather Channel. It was in college. I... I suppose I was still learning about myself..."

You left out the part where months later you had a momentary lapse of anxiety when you turned on the Weather Channel and you saw that same weather girl wearing maternity clothes.

[jackie]

"Is there such a city? I mean, I'm sure Milwaukee has at least one Dry Cleaner."

Killing me.

[jackie]

"My team, Indiana, doesn't have..."

How does a kid from NYC end up being a Pacers fan?

The Weather Channel? You are a sick man, Assman. Very sick.

[Assman]

No shit. She's like the anti-Mickelson. It's pretty bad when, in a movie, a girl goes to take off her top and you're like "No!" And when she instead turns into a werewolf, you're actually relieved to see her furry trunk instead of those mosquito bites.

Yeah, but as werewolves go, she was pretty hot.

Ainge should be fired now. He made his team good enough to make the playoffs so that he can keep his job and continue to screw things up for the next five years.

Think so? Allen, Rashard Lewis and Wilcox were one of the worst teams in the league. How much better do you think Allen, Pierce and Jefferson would be with Pierce and Allen being a year older?

I'm not sold on them being a playoff team with Atlanta and New York improving themselves the way they did...

[Assman]

How does a kid from NYC end up being a Pacers fan?

Long story. It involves my mom accidentally buying me the wrong cap and Reggie Miller being less of a douche than Kenny Walker.

The Weather Channel? You are a sick man, Assman. Very sick.

Which is why one should never publish things to the internet while drunk. That was supposed to be an "inside" memory...

[Art Vandelay]

Think so? Allen, Rashard Lewis and Wilcox were one of the worst teams in the league. How much better do you think Allen, Pierce and Jefferson would be with Pierce and Allen being a year older?

Okay, in his defense, he may have traded away the 5th overall and a young 2 and still not have gotten enough to make them a playoff team in a terrible conference.

Assman, if its any consolation, I know a guy that once jerked off to the rape scene from The Accused.

[Jack Klompus]

"I know a guy that once jerked off to the rape scene from The Accused."

Ah, right. You "know a guy" that did that. I'll bet you do, college boy.

[Assman]

Okay, in his defense, he may have traded away the 5th overall and a young 2 and still not have gotten enough to make them a playoff team in a terrible conference.

They could have had Jermaine O'Neal for the 5th pick, Ratliff and Gerald Green.

Assman, if its any consolation, I know a guy that once jerked off to the rape scene from The Accused.

Only once?

[Jack Klompus]

"They could have had Jermaine O'Neal for the 5th pick, Ratliff and Gerald Green."

No way we're giving up Gerald Green just yet (which means he'll be traded tomorrow). He's this generation's Dee Brown. As soon as a Celtic wins the Slam Dunk contest, everyone in Boston automatically thinks he's gonna be the next Jordan.

[Jack Klompus]

"and Reggie Miller being less of a douche than Kenny Walker."

Okay, cover your left eye and read that last line again.

[jeffpotts77]

They're showing some clips of Yi playing, being 87 pounds and demonstrating worse footwork than Billy Ray Cyrus. I think Tim Duncan just got an erection.

Brilliant stuff!

[randi]

I almost didn't read this because I have zero interest in basketball. I see it is penned by Assman so I give it a chance.
Laughter ensues.

[Craig]

A few random thoughts from reading this:

I can't blame Yi. I'd make my agent complain too if I had to go to Milwaukee. It's like Chicago's drunken redneck cousin. Don't get me wrong, it's great if you want bratwurst and cheese, but if you don't want to pretend that we're still in 1983, you might want a different town.

While I'm on the subject of why I'd be lousy NBA player (aside from the overwhelming lack of talent), I'd be perfectly willing to be drafted by the Spurs, get paid, get a ring and have to do absolutely nothing. Of course, with that lack of motivation I'd be playing in Portland or some place like that.

I'm glad I'm not a Celtics fan, because I'd hate to have to rationalize to myself how trading for someone who can help you get to the playoffs where you will lose right away is better than trying to build toward a future where you might actually have a chance at winning something.

Regarding the Weather Channel incident: Is it that you have a pregnancy fetish and enjoy that they always have at least one 9-month pregant woman on screen? Were you pleasuring yourself to Jeniffer Lopez and were just a little confused on which one was the actress and which one points at a computerized map of the US? I guess what I'm saying here is that there is probably a good explanation for it as long as it wasn't in the middle of an episode of Storm Stories. (Have I just revealed that I know entirely too much about The Weather Channel?)

Do you think Wright's response to Stuart Scott's question about Jordan beating him in a game of one on one had anything to do with his trade?

You raise the should we care about his bench press question about Wright, but I heard a lot of negative talk about Durant based on the results of his bench press. I understand that the game is somewhat physical, but it's still not football, right? The people raising these concerns have actually witnessed Durant at some point, haven't they?

[Killer Marine]

Assman, I've been reading AofG posts for quite awhile....and I honestly can't recall one that tops this.

[Killer Marine]

By the way, I didn't think anyone drank Asahi. Hell, I'm Half-Jap and I won't drink it.....has the same effects as 'Colon Blow'.

[Assman]

By the way, I didn't think anyone drank Asahi. Hell, I'm Half-Jap and I won't drink it.....has the same effects as 'Colon Blow'.

As if I didn't already know this by now?!?!?!

Oh, and...

You raise the should we care about his bench press question about Wright, but I heard a lot of negative talk about Durant based on the results of his bench press. I understand that the game is somewhat physical, but it's still not football, right? The people raising these concerns have actually witnessed Durant at some point, haven't they?

I truly questioned this. People who are big benchers are the ones that have no basketball skill and need to rely on beefiness to get by. Durant, as weak as he is, basically undressed the entire sport last season. That should be enough.

[SL22]

Weird...my dog always tells me that I really need to cut down on my video game use.

[jackie]

How much do you think Larry Bird could bench?

Reggie Miller?

Even rookie rail thin Magic?

Whatever.

[Jack Klompus]

"How much do you think Larry Bird could bench?

Reggie Miller?"

I bet Bird could bench Reggie Miller. I don't know if could bench Cheryl, though.

[Jack Klompus]

I nearly forgot about this:

"only remaining day of the year that my wife will say things like, "You want me to order you a couple of pizzas before I leave you alone to watch sports on TV all night?"

Couple of pizzas? Shit, are you sure that's enough? Hibernation's only 5 months away.

[Assman]

Couple of pizzas? Shit, are you sure that's enough? Hibernation's only 5 months away.

Like I said... I'm not giving that day up. Yet.

How much do you think Larry Bird could bench?

Well, he carried Danny Ainge's ass to a championship. How much is that?

[Craig]

Probably at least 20 or 30 pounds. Oh wait, did you mean all of Ainge?

[Art Vandelay]

Finally got around to this. I'm obviously biased but it puts BSGs to shame. Brilliant.

Assman, I've been reading AofG posts for quite awhile....and I honestly can't recall one that tops this.

You obviously missed the time I touched Rick Springfield.

His competition was Willie Roaf.

You owe me a new keyboard, motherfucker.

[Assman]

His competition was Willie Roaf.

You owe me a new keyboard, motherfucker.

But its true. They televised the Foot Locker competitions during halftime of college games years ago. This dude was up against Willie Roaf. And all Willie had to do was get off the ground to stuff it, and the crowd gave him a ten out of disbelief. Unbelievable.

[Art Vandelay]

Wow. I didn't consider for even a second that that wasn't a joke.

[Bobby P]

Klompus, Transformers isn't sci-fi, it's cartoon. Yes, it's sci-fi based, but hell. That's like calling Spiderman 3 a romance movie.

Alien isn't cool? Blade Runner not cool?

Man, you and I would really have a hell of a time hanging out.

Assman - well done.

[Art Vandelay]

Bob: Hey Jack, wanna go for a bike ride and then watch some Bladerunner?

Jack: Fuck you.

[Jack Klompus]

"You obviously missed the time I touched Rick Springfield."

You seem to be missing those times as well.

[Jack Klompus]

"Klompus, Transformers isn't sci-fi, it's cartoon. Yes, it's sci-fi based, but hell. That's like calling Spiderman 3 a romance movie."

Ah fuck, it's the sequel to the "Heathers is not a chick-flick" argument.

"Alien isn't cool? Blade Runner not cool?"

You know, I totally forgot about those two flicks! And for good reason. No, nay, never.

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