If you're like Cozmo, next-generation spammers have figured out a way to get more spam on your computer. And if you are like Cozmo, you are psyched that these new spammers have a great sense of humor.
My favorite spam development of the past year is the ridiculous names that the spammers give their accounts to sneak them through filters. They almost always follow the same format - [Noun] [Middle Initial] [Adjective or Adverb]. Here is a sample of some of the funnier ones:
- Tabernacle Q. Candidate
- Glove O. Worthwhile
- Library S. Surmises
- Chronic G. Anyway
- Flotsam N. Alarming
- Lawbreakers O. Toddled
- Jackie P. Chiles (just kidding, but he does email alot)
- Finally, my personal favorite & the University of New Mexico's new starting point guard - Upperclassman G. Alamogordo
So, what about you, AofGers? Any great spam names to report?
AofG Extra: More spam hilarity - If you wanted to know why your spam is horribly spelled, it's probably because it is most likely coming from places like South & North Korea and Sao Paolo. Jose Spam, what is it with the Portugese language and internet spamming?
Finally, I recieved the following spam three times over the past day to my [email protected] account over the past day. Apparently, I am related to Senator Paul Wellstone. Who knew?
Attn: Sir,
Greetings to you my dear friend,It is obvious
that this proposal will come to you as a
suprise. This is because we have not met before but
I am inspired to send you this email by the huge
fund transfer opportunity that will be of mutual
benefit to the two of us.
However, I am Barrister Phillip Andrews,the personal
attorney to the late Senator Paul lane Wellstone,
a Citizen of the United states and he was into politics.
Senator Wellstone, "he was into politics."
On the 25th of October 2002, my client,his wife and
their three children were involved in a fatal Plane Crash
near Eveleth-Virginia Municipal Airport.
Unfortunately they all lost their lives including
other people in the Plane.Since then I have made
several enquiries to several Embassies to locate any
of my clients extended relatives, this has also
proved unsuccessful.
After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided
to trace his relatives over the Internet to locate any
member of his family but of no avail, hence I
contacted you.
I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money
and property left behind by my client since I have no
place to locate any of his relatives. I can easily
convince his bank in the with my legal practice that you
are the only surviving relation of my client.Otherwise
the Estate he left behind will be confiscated or declared
unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits
were lodged.
Particularly, My late client had an account with one
of the banks Europe. valued at about US$9.3Million
(Nine Million Three Hundred Thousand United States
Dollars) which I witness the documentations before
he left for the states on 24 october 2002.
Conseqently,The bank issued me a notice to provide the
next of kin to my client since I have been unsuccesfull
in locating the relatives.
I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the
deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at
US$9.3Million (Nine Million Three Hundred Thousand United
States Dollars) will be paid into your account and
then you and I can share the money. 55% to me and 40%
to you,while 5% should be for expenses,tax as your
government may require. [Ed Note: Jackie, is this what most bloodsucking lawyers are charging these days. I thought Jacoby & Meyers type took a third}
I have all necessary legal documents that can be used
to back up any claim we may make. All I require is
your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal
through. I guarantee that this will be executed under
a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from
any breach of the law.Reply immediately, mail me on my altanative mail box
:[email protected]
Yours Faithfully,
Barrister Phillip Andrews
N.B. Please indicate your telephone and fax numbers
for easy communication in this mutual transaction.
Ah, good times. If any of you want to contact Phillip and claim you are Paul Wellstone's blood relative, by all means, knock yourself out.
I just got that same exact text over the fax machine. Where does it stop?
Posted by: hkuszak | May 03, 2005 at 05:12 PM
Are we cousins, HK?
Posted by: Cozmo | May 03, 2005 at 05:16 PM
Hey wise ass, what's the "P" stand for? By the way, still killing me.
Posted by: Jackie | May 03, 2005 at 05:16 PM
Pugnacious?
I don't know. It just had a good ring to it.
Posted by: Cozmo | May 03, 2005 at 05:20 PM
I can live with that. Thought you might be trying to slip a Poontang or somethin' under my nose.
Posted by: Jackie | May 03, 2005 at 05:31 PM
Poontang's my ... middle name.
Posted by: Cozmo | May 03, 2005 at 05:35 PM
I was selling a 8'x4'x3' work table that weighs about 200lbs on craigslist this weekend....some guy wants me to ship it to England, of course he wants to send me a money order for about $4000 in excess of the $100 I am asking for the table....and I wire him the difference...doesn't sound fishy to me....
Posted by: Babu | May 03, 2005 at 05:45 PM
could be - are you polish? Wellstone could be some Americanized version of Wojciekowski.
Posted by: hkuszak | May 03, 2005 at 06:01 PM
please excuse my horrible use of grammar (specifically capitalization of proper nouns) in the last post...I could have ended up with some buffoon asking, "Well, you forgot about Poland!".
Posted by: hkuszak | May 03, 2005 at 06:40 PM
Awhile back The Poor Man had a link up to a name generator (don't have it anymore) that I tried out. It created names a lot like the ones you report. Mine turned out to be "Machines L. Raindrop". Sounds kind of like a Chicago gangster, only fey.
Posted by: Riggsveda | May 03, 2005 at 08:17 PM
Got one this morning from Quad R. Caddy.
Posted by: Cozmo | May 04, 2005 at 09:56 AM
These have come in over the past 24 hours:
Abroad H. Favorably
Officeholder L. Kumquat
and my favorite, Orthopaedics C. Quakers
Posted by: Frank | May 04, 2005 at 10:08 AM
one that rhymes...
Cawing I. Hawking
Posted by: hkuszak | May 04, 2005 at 10:14 AM
"Officeholder L. Kumquat"
Awesome. That should be our new name for Bill Frist.
Posted by: Cozmo | May 04, 2005 at 10:50 AM
Today's installment:
Overcompensated Q. Walkout.
That could be me.
Posted by: Cozmo | May 05, 2005 at 02:47 PM