
On Friday I was
alerted to the fact that the Pope has found a surefire solution to the
AIDS crisis in Africa. Hallelujah, right? Score one for organized
religion! Giving back to the world. I like it. Religion is doing it's
part to fit in with society and offer some benefits. The Pope even
offered his complete plan for AIDS-prevention.
Placing a Bible above your erect penis before intercourse.
No. Seriously. Take your pants off, grab a Bible, and hold it there. It will scare the AIDS away.
The
Pope seriously just went to Africa and TOLD THEM TO PUT FUCKING BIBLES
OVER THEIR PENISES BEFORE THEY FUCK EACH OTHER. Has he lost his damn
mind? Has Catholicism actually come to this? Holy mother of God. Jesus
Christ himself is probably flipping out and going into full PR-control
mode. The Church's anti-condom crusade has reached a new apex of abject
stupidity. This man should be arrested. And at the same time, I can't
stop rofl-ing about it.
But....I mean, come on. There are people
in the world who really believe what the Pope has to say on these
subjects. What if some of these people do, too? Two out of every one
adults in Africa has some form of the HIV, and now they might run
around putting Bibles over their cocks in lieu of condoms. This is
great. Go, The Church. But mainly, I just want this to catch on.
Because I want to try it.
Next
chick that succumbs to my irresistible charm is getting Bible-dicked.
Oh yeah. She's going to be like, "do you have a condom?", and I'm gonna
be like, "condoms don't work...but I have the only thing that does...I
have to protect myself from your AIDS", and then I'm going to grab a
Bible. I'm going to place the Bible over my erect penis and I'm going
to allow the AIDS-prevention formula to run it's course. Then I'm going
to put the Bible down and see if she still wants to go. I have a
feeling I already know the answer.
The article covers this much better than I can. Do yourselves a favor and read it. Wow.
EDIT: I think it's a hoax. Gay. I know they made up the last part, of course, but I thought that he had actually said the Bible over penis part. Apparently he just said that condoms won't stop AIDS.