The Airing of Grievances

Nothing Means Anything Ever

I can't decide if this is "News That Is Surprising To Absolutely Nobody" or if it's "News That's Kinda Surprising, But Only If You're Not Very Cynical."

A little while back, your boy Lou Dobbs decided to quit CNN. He said his reason was a difference of opinion with the network regarding advocacy journalism, but you can also add "I'm rich and don't need more income," "I'm old and don't pull intern poon like I used to," and "wait, Glenn Beck is more famous than me now?" to the pile.

Welcome to Insanity World

This is a follow up on Vandelay's previous post regarding the Franken arbitration bill.  It passed today BUT HOW THE FUCK DO 30 THIRTY 3-0!! LAW MAKERS VOTE TO PROTECT GANG RAPISTS!  And that's literally what they did without any due regard for the victims. That is an insane thing to do right?

Let's put aside that it's an extremely self-evident, morally correct, and necessary amendment to the defense appropriations.  How do you fucking rationalize voting against a bill that allows victims of any kind of assault to have their day in court.  Even if the defense industry fills their war chests every campaign they still must realize, on some level, any decent person is going find this revolting.  Am I mistaken?  

I believe only 7 Republican Senators voted Yea on it and three of them were women.  Do they think the Democrats are so gutless as to shy away from using it against them?  That's the only explanation I can think of.  "Democrats support killing babies.  We only support protecting rapists- and as long as they pay us that support- so we're the better choice at the polls."  Is that the rationale behind this?   I can't figure it out. 

Some Suspect Fine Print?

So I was watching TDS last night and got some background on this Franken-bill intended to stop the government from doing business with companies (cough***Haliburton***cough) that have contractual agreements with their employees to not be allowed to sue if they are raped on the job. I figured it might be a fun thing to add to this here web log but alas, not very genuine as I wrote one paragraph and sounded exactly like Stewart. So in lieu of that, I'm just gonna post the video.

Plus, I'm lazy.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Rape-Nuts
www.thedailyshow.com
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The Only Political Question I'll Ask All Damn Year

I'm not the political type. It's just not my bag. So when topics involving politicians pop up on my radar, I tend to vurp a little in my mouth, gag a little, swallow it down like warm well Tequila at a seedy strip bar with a stripper who smells like the outhouse on a Tuna boat on my lap, and then I move on.

I also am not one with a very strong opinion on President Obama. He won the election. The GOP lost. Hannity and Beck are still crying on their cock shaped pillows. He is up for a job review in a tad under 1,100 days, whatever. He's the POTUS and I respect the position regardless of who sits in it. Fucking Kermit the Frog could be Prez and I'd still be indifferent. Pathetic on my part? Perhaps.

But tell me if this guy belongs on this list of people:

Mahatma Ghandi.
Kofi Annan.
Nelson Mandela.
Bishop Desmond Tutu
Mother Theresa
Martin Luther King, Jr...

Barack Obama?

Heh. Okay. Now, if he does belong on this list, what exactly has Obama done, citing crystal clear, incontrovertible examples, to win the world's most prestigious Peace award, the Nobel Peace Prize? Especially in light of the fact that the nominations were turned in on February 1st, a mere two weeks after his Inauguration.

Again, not a hater, I really just want to know how I can win one of these bitches to put on top of my kegerator.

Please discuss.

Stupid People Are Fun!

Our man Chiles came across this video chronicling some of the folks at the Tea Parties in DC this past weekend. Yes, I realize there probably are some people there who have some sense of why they're there or what they're talking about and this is the product of some fine editing but those people aren't funny.

So many gems in here but if I have to pick a favorite I'll go with "You know this how?" I'll leave that open for debate though. Do yourself a favor and set aside the ten minutes. Trust me on this.

Oh Massachusetts...You Slay Me

So the other day I was commenting on that er-uh Teddy Kennedy post and pondering how that state re-elected a guy to Senate all those times after he admitted to leaving a woman in his car that he just drove off a bridge to drown. I thought..."Vandelay...those Massholes sure are silly with their complete disregard for character...who will they vote for next?"

No chance...right?

Yeah, for the opponent perhaps! OHHHH...SNAP!!!

Seriously though...I really want this to happen.

About These Wingnuts

I haven't been paying a heck a lot of attention to these town hall meetings discussing health care reform as I was never really opposed to it in the first place but the big stories seem to be all these protesters with their photo-shopped Hitlama posters and their AK-47s strapped to their backs. Look I get it...first amendment, second amendment...blah,blah,blah. I'm not one to deprive anyone of bearing arms or even speaking despite how insane they may be but for fuck's sake can we demonstrate accurately? What the hell does any of this have to do with health care reform?

If Obama decides that the government is going to transition over from democracy to fascist dictatorship and holds some town halls to discuss it...bring a poster of him with a Hitler mustache, by all means. If he decides to take your guns and holds town halls to discuss...bring your guns! Bring Ted Nugent for all I care! We're talking death panels here, people!!! Can we at least try being a little more creative and pull out the Professor Griff costume for a more appropriate event? That's all I'm sayin'.

Here's video of Barney Frank eviscerating one of these whack-jobs (and a Masshole whack-job at that) yesterday. He's just slightly less cool than Obama.

Canadians Are Weird, Bad-Ass

Okay, I don't really know how to approach this so I'll just come right out with it. Canada has something called a "Governor General" who apparently "represents" the Queen. That's her pictured above. Earlier this week, as a sign of solidarity for the beleagured seal hunters of the Arctic, this broad gutted a seal and sliced up it's heart and ate it.

There's not really much more to that. Frankly, I have no idea what the political issues there are surrounding seal hunting in Canada or why the seal hunters are beleagured or why anyone would even do that and I really don't feel like doing the research so maybe one of our Canadian readers can clear it up for us (okay...our only Canadian reader). That would probably help me figure out whether or not I think this woman is batshit insane or kind of awesome.

Alright Pennypacker...a nation turns it's lonely eyes to you.

"It's SUPPOSED to taste like a shit taco!"

The only drawback I ever saw with the Bush administration leaving office was that The Daily Show wouldn't be as funny anymore but thankfully for us, Fox News just can't pace their rage. Prepare for some gold...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
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comedycentral.com
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Wake Up, Fan. Shit's About to Hit You.

 

UPDATE:  Don't know where the first indicident occurred, but notice our favorite short bus state gets top billing.  The rest of it is chock full of disturbing citations mixed with laughable quotes.  But nothing more ridiculous than the last one :

    "People are talking about how left out they feel, ... and they feel that something strange and radical has taken over our country."

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Alright folks.  We're less than 24 hours away from a torrential downpour of Hope-and-Change soup.  That's right, the entire world is about to be changed and rearranged (no pressure, Obbie).  Any predictions on what will be the fallout, if any, when our second black president is elected?  We know there will be hundreds of unnecessary interviews with polarizing supporters of both candidates.  We'll no doubt get to hear Spike Lee wax Spikey on all things Spikish.  And I'm sure there'll be in-depth analysis on how Sarah Barracuda-Joe the Plumber will be the GOP ticket in 2012, with McCain being long deceased by then (according to Matt Damon's actuary tables).  But what about all the hooligans we've been reading about, with their effigies, mailers, and assault hoaxes?  Surely they can't be tapped out?

So place your bets.  What will be the first non-fatal* incident?  Where will it be located?  Which demographic will be repsonsible?  There's been much speculation here (and everywhere).  My guess is that it will be a student riot at a college in Indiana.

* I was reluctant to post on this subject in the first place but have decided to proceed with caution.  Assuming only the souls of Huckabee supporters will perish from Obamageddon, I'm cautiously optimistic no death will occur as a result.  This post will be be duly edited or deleted if I turn out to be wrong.