People who feel the need to show off elitism in any capacity, be it driving a douchey-ass Hummer just 'cause they're compensating, or chicks flashing huge fucking diamond rings simply for winning the wedding lottery, need to be dealt with.
I'm beginning to think that this couple falls into that category.
Apparently, they went off to the hickory sticks of Oregon to find their family a Christmas Tree. And rather than head down to the local Piggly Wiggly and pick up a nice Scotch Pine from the roped off joint with the drunks in the trailer, they had to go all Clark Griswold and hoof it up Mt. Hood to find a "rare" silvertip fir. Well, no shit, it looks like the couple has now ended up missing.
Again, they have four kids, he's a diabetic, she's about as useful in the wilderness as tits on a bull, this doesn't seem to bode well.
My problem isn't that they are lost. That sucks. My problem is that these are the type of people that feel the need to prove they have the coolest shit, just so they can say so, and in the process fuck everything up for tons of people around them. Not to mention, THEY GOT LOST LAST YEAR FOR FOUR HOURS DOING THE SAME GOD DAMN THING! And for what? A fucking pine tree? Please.
Good luck people. I hope they return safely, not so much for them but for their kids. But if they do return, I hope the authorities tie a tether on these folks' genitals because they can't get out of their own way, all in the name of being douches.
Then again, now that I think about it, leaving the kids behind to get a Christmas Tree reeks of foul play. Isn't that a family event? Clark W. thinks so.



