The Airing of Grievances

Disgruntled (Former) Corporate Lawyer

There is burning bridges, there is napalming them, and then there is this.

Gold Star.

Sean Bell Verdict

The coppers fire 50+ shots on unarmed men, yet they walk away from the criminal case unscathed. Can someone please tell me how that is ok?

No Justice...

Query: Would the prosecution's chances been better with a jury than it was with a judge? What would you have said at the outset? Why?

Arlen Specter Reeks of Disrespect

Let's get this part out of the way. Yes, this is kind of silly. No, it's not really analagous to the CIA destroying the Watergate tapes. Yes, Congress should have more important things on their plate. However...if you happen to be a fan of the NFL and a fan of integrity (probably doesn't hurt to have an irrational hatred of the Patriots either), you've probably been wondering yourself how that investigation could have ended so abruptly. I have no idea what becomes of this but Goodell better spend some time with The Purple Jesus and learn some of those spin moves pretty quickly because unless Congress let's him off the hook, the line of questioning looks pretty easy to me.

Show the tape of him speaking to a National TV audience proclaiming that the original penalty was only for the infractions in the Jets game and that they are going to collect all of the evidence and the Pats are subject to further and more severe sanctions if any more wrong-doing is found. From there, it's easy...

Congress: Why did you destroy the tapes?

Goodell: Because no more wrong-doing was found.

Congress: Then why did you destroy the fucking tapes?????

See what I did there?

You Have a Lovely Set of......Teeth.

This Dr. Feelgood explores all techniques in the field of den-tits-ry.   Long and short of it, a touchy feely dentist likes to grab boobies.  So about 2 dozen women have accused him of inappropriately juggling the twins while in the chair.   His defense:  according to dental journals, it is proper procedure to play Tune-in Tokyo when treating a common jaw disorder.  Who knew.  Surprisingly, he didn't offer a more standard (and harrassing) method for jaw exercise.  Nontheless, you have to wonder why this guy hasn't had his teeth knocked out by now.  All 24 of these women are somebody's wife, girlfriend, sister, and/or daughter.  On the other hand, you have this item from the article:

"Deputy Attorney General Jeffrey Phillips gave Lew three new complaints, including one from a 31-year-old woman who said Anderson fondled her at least six times over two years"

First things first, this woman is 31 and she's going to the dentist that many times?  Shit, give up the candy or Skoal or whatever is fuckin' up your mouth that much.  Secondly, you've been fondled 6 times and now you're upset?  It wasn't strange to you after, say, the first time?  Are there no other dentists in or around the Woodland, California area?  Dentists that don't put their hands under your shirt?  Certainly you've been to other dentists in your lifetime that didn't try to undress you. Then again, you're averaging a visit every 4 months now, so apparently dental care hasn't been a past priority. 

Meanwhile somewhere in America, Phil Mickleson's dentist is being razzed by his buddies.

There's Rich, There's Super-Rich ...

... and there's David Boies getting on his high horse and acting like he's some type of Crazy Eddie.

Welcome to Law School

If you haven't read about Chris Rix's censorship campaign yet, then I implore you to go, and enjoy the spoils.

In the end, you sort of wonder if the guy understands how federal subpoenas work.  And, of course, that typing in all-caps doesn't make your claims any less asinine.

I'd almost like to see that get in front of a judge.  Top notch entertainment.

Lawyers

Jury selection. Oppossing counsel caucasian. Potential juror -- thin blonde southern woman about 45 -- asks to speak to us outside.

Woman: I have a problem with racism.

Opponent: This is not a polic brutalitiy case, it won't matter.

Chiles: Hold on, let her explain. Miss?

Woman: When I was a teenager I was abducted, held hostage and repeatedly raped by a bunch of black guys.

Opponent: But that has nothing to do with this case, wouldn't you agree?

Chiles (Incredulously looking at this shameless assclown.)

Woman: Maybe not.

Chiles (For some reason, perhaps temporary retardation, trying to be delicate): So, the race of any potential witnesses won't bias your view of their testimony one way or the other?

Woman: I'm not sure, I don't think so.

Opponent : Yeah, it's not a police brutality case.

Chiles (Wanting to smack this assclown and having had enough): What about the race of the lawyers?

Woman: Yes, that would pose a problem.

Opponent(Silent, Smiling, Horse's Ass)

Wonderful times.

All About The Benjamins

Courtesy of AofG Hall of Famer Bluehorshoe, this is Rich...Two court cases in America this week -- two very different defendants.

PARIS HILTON

* Drifted through a variety of private schools. Left with few qualifications.

* Home sex video made when 19 brought global fame.

* Caught on camera enjoying what appears to be gak and weed.

* A series of DUI arrests and driving while on probation lead to 23 days in jail.

* Released by LA sheriff after three days. Now back in a correctional facility but still able to call TV presenters with her story.

* Found God on the day her agents sacked her.

GENARLOW WILSON

* Star athlete and honours student in Georgia.

* Convicted of consensual oral sex, aged 17, with a 15 year-old girl, at a New Year's Eve party.

* 10 year prison sentence, plus lifetime on sex offenders' register.

* This week US judge overturned the ruling,after he'd served two years.

* Ex-President Jimmy Carter has written to Georgia's attorney-general to question whether his treatment was racially motivated.

* Georgia's attorney-general appeals against new ruling, Genarlow is still in jail.

* As the law stands, Wilson cannot return to his own family if released, as he has an 8 year-old sister and he would be forbidden contact. More on Wilson case.

As Don King would say: Only in America.

Shameless Moments

First things first, I rarely, if ever, watch anything on television other than Movies, Sports, Law & Order, Sopranos, Deadwood, The Wire, Sleeper Cell, as well as HBO, A&E and National Geographic documentaries. So, If I'm way late to the party on this one that's just too fucking bad, but some woman I've been doing business with will not STFU about the Anna Nicole Smith business and keeps talking about the "fantastic judge." Based on the little window I've had into her judgment, I wouldn't trust this woman to hold my ying yang in a crowded bathroom, so just for goofs, I decided to see if perhaps she got this one right. Well, I did my diligence, and I came across what has to be one of the more shameless performances I've ever seen in my life. She clearly remains an idiot. Wow.

What's Wrong With Selling Some Trim?

The above ad recently appeared in Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly and apparently has brought the pussified out of the woodwork.

These guys definitely approve. Do you?

(Hey MJD: If you are reading, tell Mandalay that I send my regards.)