The Airing of Grievances

Holy Patriotism, Batman

This just seems like a bit much. At a recent game at the House that Ruth Built and Jeter Slept With, a man with a Frenchy-sounding name got up to use the bathroom. Not a big problem as long as he's not pissing on the 14-year old girl in front of him, right Kels? Wrong. God Bless America was playing at the time, and I'm sorry, Monsieur Campeau-Larion, but God is not finished blessing Yankee Stadium just yet. Told that he was not allowed to move from his seat, the Frenchman demanded that NY's finest allow him to go and piss it out. 

You Are Under Arrest, Dawg

On the way home yesterday, going up 95, you know, a great road to drive on, I noticed something a bit strange. Now, down here in South Florida, there are many undercover cops driving around giving out speeding tickets. I HATE THIS. But, I mean, as much as I want to argue against it, I can't really come up with a great argument as to why they shouldn't be allowed to do it. BUT...yesterday, I saw a black car with dark tints pulling a guy over. Not cool, right? It gets worse.

He had chrome rims.

They weren't like the ones in the picture by any stretch, weren't too obnoxious, and were only like 16"...but he had rims. That's just not f-ing fair. Rims on the police cars are where I draw the line. And that line is FIRM! Surely nobody can be for undercover police using rims.

Also, is it considered bad form to reply to a homeless man asking for change with "do you take debit"? I felt bad after I did it.

A Look Into The World of Corporate Law

Brilliant.

(SoJ: Krista K)

Death by Natural Causes

You people are not going to believe where this is happening. Wait, all of you guessed "Ohio"? Damn. Whatever.

This man, Richard Cooey, is currently on death row in Columbus, North Florida Ohio, waiting to be executed for some murderrapes he committed back in the day. However, his lawyers argue that he is too fat (5'7", 265) to be put to death due to the inevitable trouble the executioners of death will have in finding his veins, and surely they don't want to deal with another media storm when another fat prisoner writhes to death after a barely-lethal injection. And since you aren't allowed to shoot him in the head or put him on a train to Edmonton, I guess the only alternative is to force him to eat 3 Hardees value meals a day. I believe Hardees is second only to slave revolts on the list of leading causes of death amongst Southerners.

In spite of the time I spent in the Northwest PA-Eastern Ohio area, I still do not have any experience shooting myself up with needles, and therefore am certainly not an expert here. But still, can it really be that hard with current technology to find one of this dude's veins? Couldn't you just get a longer needle or something? And while I'm sure that maybe a little bit of extreme pain isn't really too undeserved for a murderraper, is there seriously no way to take a needle and accurately insert it into one of this dude's veins? I can't figure it out, man.

Word is, Richard Cooey used to be able to dunk a tennis ball. So he's really let himself go.

Guest Post by SL22: I Must Sue All of Those Who Make Jokes

Does anybody think that picture above is George W. Bush?

I didn't think so. But if you said, "Hey, SL22, I don't think that is George Bush, but he does have an odd resemblance to Charles Barkley", well, my friend, you are not alone. Charles Barkley also thinks that Frank Caliendo is too much like Charles Barkley in his impersonations and had threatened to sue Caliendo along with another of Caliendo's oft-parodied sporting figures, John "Rubber Tits" Madden.

Disgruntled (Former) Corporate Lawyer

There is burning bridges, there is napalming them, and then there is this.

Gold Star.

Sean Bell Verdict

The coppers fire 50+ shots on unarmed men, yet they walk away from the criminal case unscathed. Can someone please tell me how that is ok?

No Justice...

Query: Would the prosecution's chances been better with a jury than it was with a judge? What would you have said at the outset? Why?

Arlen Specter Reeks of Disrespect

Let's get this part out of the way. Yes, this is kind of silly. No, it's not really analagous to the CIA destroying the Watergate tapes. Yes, Congress should have more important things on their plate. However...if you happen to be a fan of the NFL and a fan of integrity (probably doesn't hurt to have an irrational hatred of the Patriots either), you've probably been wondering yourself how that investigation could have ended so abruptly. I have no idea what becomes of this but Goodell better spend some time with The Purple Jesus and learn some of those spin moves pretty quickly because unless Congress let's him off the hook, the line of questioning looks pretty easy to me.

Show the tape of him speaking to a National TV audience proclaiming that the original penalty was only for the infractions in the Jets game and that they are going to collect all of the evidence and the Pats are subject to further and more severe sanctions if any more wrong-doing is found. From there, it's easy...

Congress: Why did you destroy the tapes?

Goodell: Because no more wrong-doing was found.

Congress: Then why did you destroy the fucking tapes?????

See what I did there?

You Have a Lovely Set of......Teeth.

This Dr. Feelgood explores all techniques in the field of den-tits-ry.   Long and short of it, a touchy feely dentist likes to grab boobies.  So about 2 dozen women have accused him of inappropriately juggling the twins while in the chair.   His defense:  according to dental journals, it is proper procedure to play Tune-in Tokyo when treating a common jaw disorder.  Who knew.  Surprisingly, he didn't offer a more standard (and harrassing) method for jaw exercise.  Nontheless, you have to wonder why this guy hasn't had his teeth knocked out by now.  All 24 of these women are somebody's wife, girlfriend, sister, and/or daughter.  On the other hand, you have this item from the article:

"Deputy Attorney General Jeffrey Phillips gave Lew three new complaints, including one from a 31-year-old woman who said Anderson fondled her at least six times over two years"

First things first, this woman is 31 and she's going to the dentist that many times?  Shit, give up the candy or Skoal or whatever is fuckin' up your mouth that much.  Secondly, you've been fondled 6 times and now you're upset?  It wasn't strange to you after, say, the first time?  Are there no other dentists in or around the Woodland, California area?  Dentists that don't put their hands under your shirt?  Certainly you've been to other dentists in your lifetime that didn't try to undress you. Then again, you're averaging a visit every 4 months now, so apparently dental care hasn't been a past priority. 

Meanwhile somewhere in America, Phil Mickleson's dentist is being razzed by his buddies.

There's Rich, There's Super-Rich ...

... and there's David Boies getting on his high horse and acting like he's some type of Crazy Eddie.