The Airing of Grievances

Wait, What?

I read about this press conference last week and forgot to follow up on it. Better to have the genius of Norm MacDonald highlighting it anyway. Normally when you read about something like this, you think it's gotta be exaggerated. It couldn't have happened, right? Not with Gloria Allred involved. I hope these greedy douchebag parents are happy they were able to humiliate their kids on a national stage.

On an aside, aren't the parents paying Allred to represent them?  Why does the dad (Justin) play the part of the coital receptor in the demonstration?  You'd think if he was going to volunteer to be part of the puppet show, he'd at least take the dominant role. Then again, maybe it's symbolic of the attorney-client relationship.  At the very least, it supports McDowell's original theory on Justin.

If Justin has any friends, I hope they fuckin' taunt the living shit out of him until the day he dies.

Double whiskey to Big Al B. for sending this link.

Okay, I'll Do It!

I have nothing of significance to say today but for fuck's sake, somebody has to get Al Davis' disgusting head off of the top of the page already. So in lieu of my usual brilliant prose, I'm just going to post Drinking Out Of Cups. This is possibly my favorite thing on the internet since Lego Buffalo Bill. I've literally watched it at least 100 times and probably quote it a dozen times a week. As the story goes, some dude was tripping on acid in a closet and just talking himself through all of these hallucinations and his friends recorded it. Then someone put it to animation in the form of this trippy lizard. The awesome randomness ensues...

Admit it..you can't wait for someone to ask you "Whose chair is that" now.

Edit: According to resident buzz-kill, Flash Warner, via Assman's Facebook wall...the acid trip part is a myth. Douche.

Really Arizona?

You know that scene from Swingers where Mikey gets a girl's number at a bar and then goes home and proceeds to leave awkward messages on her answering machine 58 times? Yeah, well this is like 58 times more uncomfortable than that.

Perhaps she should have written notes on her hand? Holy fuck. That is some scary shit and since I'm all equal opportunity around here, this guy is running for mayor of Providence.

Postcards From Beckapalooza

Disclaimer: I'm completely aware that this is a piece of liberal propaganda and edited to make all teabaggers look like complete morons and that there are sheep and idiots in every corner of the political spectrum. It just happens to be funny to me. Really, really funny. I'm sorry, but extremely xenophobic, fear-mongering retards are just a lot funnier to me than hippy, tree-hugging retards.

Not to take anything away from this cat, of course.

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You Spleef?

I know I don't post often when I have to learn a new version of Typepad each time I log in.  Alas, I figured it was my turn since it's only a matter of time before Newman drops a rap about how the juice gave him his 400 lb. bench press and his 10 lb. neck pimples.  And Vandelay's been picking up the slack, but we know better than to praise him too much.  For one, football season is around the corner.  And we know what that means -- lots of tinfoiling about how Goodell is conspiring to suppress the Steelers.  Plus, we all know Vandelay has some other fresh skeletons he's dying to make us hate him for.  There's gotta be a "My-wife-was-given-these-Michael-Buble-tickets-so-I-had-to-go-and-pretend-I-liked-it" -type shit somewhere in his queue.  But I digress.

So what's new?  Economy is both great and shitty depending on the link you click on.  One thing that hasn't changed though -- people are still toking.  And in weed news today, a pair of growers were busted in Canad-eh with 2300 plants and a dozen or so bears guarding the cash crop.  Apparently, the economy has gotten so bad in White Mexico that Canuck pot growers can't afford human security.  Instead, they buy a shitload of dog food and outsource it to wild fuckin' animals.  Either that, or the bears had a taste for the sweet leaf so they were feeding them to keep them from eating the sticky.  In any event, it's an interesting tactic.  One thing we all know about pot: the line separating ingenuity and retardation pretty much disappears.
 

***This Shit is Fucked Up ****

Isotope boy rockin' the gay porn pose for his 12 year old fans.  Warning: female fertility drugs may mask your steroid use but eventually make you act as stupid as the time you tried to look like you were having fun at your white buddy's wedding.  I can't think of anyone who needs a nut crushing roundhouse kick more than this hosebag... except for maybe (definitely) Bono.  Joe Torre is worried about the travelling circus coming to town?  What does that mean?  Has he left the planet and is vacationing on Pluto?   Poor Masshole lady didn't get her #24 inked by the world's second biggest asshole- what did you expect lady? a dick slapping??   And finally, shameless douchebag NM kid who won't get laid till he's 25.  Your future consists of perpetually borrowing money from every relative, friend and stranger for the rest of your useless life unless you stop with this baseball crap.  Quit school, run away from home, join the fucking army for fucksake- but get the hell out of New Mexico!

Hey Is That Dave Coulier?

So there's this thing on youtube called literal videos where someone takes a music video and dubs over it so that the lyrics describe exactly what's happening in the video. I have no idea if this is a new thing or everyone has been on this since 06 and I'm late to the party but it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It's not like "98 retarded people defending a dead wrestler" funny or "not wanting to smell like a skunk=being afraid of a skunk" funny but more like "how come it never occurred to me how much LSD people were doing in the 80's" funny. This one might be my favorite...

More here, here, and here.

Quick grievance post-jump...

"It's SUPPOSED to taste like a shit taco!"

The only drawback I ever saw with the Bush administration leaving office was that The Daily Show wouldn't be as funny anymore but thankfully for us, Fox News just can't pace their rage. Prepare for some gold...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Baracknophobia - Obey
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

Thank God for The Daily Show

I saw this last night and just received it an e-mail from Assman with the clip and since this has become the week of the Palin here at The Grieve and I'm the only one that knows how to embed youtube videos*, I'm gonna go ahead and pull the trigger on this little slice of brilliance.

That almost makes me smile as much as the news that Tom Brady has a broken foot (I kid because I love). John Stewart may very well have the greatest job in America over the next three months. He should just send like a quarter of his pay to Fox News.

*Shamelessly made up

Ted's NOt Dead!!

Having just come back from a conference at the Byrd Center in Shepherdstown, WV last week this sort of thing comes as no surprise.  But oh man what a showing!  This one is even better than the Mike Vick dead dog eulogy.

Download byrd.htm