The Airing of Grievances

Got Balls?

Mad man Dean Potter taking it freestyle across the canyon gap.  This guy also climbs up the 3,000 foot El Capitan in Yosemite.... without freaking protection!   What a way to make a living. 

Marriage is Hard

Hey. Read the headline on this news story.

Seems like every few weeks there's another news story about a wife disappearing and a husband who acts like anyone's going to believe his story about how she "just left to go buy shoes and never came home. I figure she's out with another guy, since she's a cheating, worthless idiot that I hate, daydream about strangling, wish would shut the hell up and would never, ever murder and bury in the landfill out by the lake that I know you cops overlook in every investigation." Come on, man. We know you did it. Everyone can see the waves of heat coming off your Xbox and the trail of empty Chinese food packages leading out to the dumpster. You couldn't wait to be single again.

Especially if the husband in question is a cop who killed his first few wives too. When its a cop, you may as well start up the "indefinitely suspended with pay" paperwork because you know how this is going to turn out.

Which makes me wonder. If you're a dude, and you're sick of your wife, don't you know you can't just kill her? First of all, everyone will suspect you, even if you wait a good 2 months before you start letting your new shiny internet girlfriend stay over at the house. Second, you've clearly never watched CSI because if you had, you'll know that they're going to find her and somehow use DNA evidence to figure out what time it was when you stuffed her in a Hefty sack and said "I told you I'd take the damned trash out when I was ready, didn't I? Ha ha... I'm taking out the damned trash! Ha ha ha!" So you're screwed.

So, let this be a public service announcement to crazy men everywhere. Cut it out. Get a divorce lawyer or something. This is the kind of crap that makes them want to chop our dicks off. Thank you.

Nino Brown Sells Xbox?

Gotta love this quote:

It's video games, which, for certain kids, can be as powerfully addictive as heroin, some doctors contend.

Word? Heroin?

...

...

Word?

Jack Klompus' Bracket Racket

UPDATE:  If you're not in yet, get in.  Should be fun. -- JC

It's almost that time, folks.  As the end of the Sports doldrum nears, we ready ourselves for the event that marks the end of this dreary season -- March Madness.  After the underwhelming success of the NFL suicide poll (which Vandelay unceremoniously claimed), I figured it only made sense to spend my free time setting up a bracket for basketball's only remaining worthwhile event.  For those of you that partook in the Suicide pool, you should have no trouble transitioning to this since it will also be hosted on CBS Sportsline. 

For those of you interested, send an email to j_klompus@yahoo.com .  I will in turn send an invite with the necessary info.  Also, you will be required to set up an account (it's free) on CBS Sportsline.  (More after the jump)

Putting the Dick back into Diction

God bless the Japanese - who continue to push the concept of game shows watching people humiliated to new heights.  Don't forget, this is the country which single handedly invented the "reality show", the Fear Factor, and the now infamous "Don't Go For It Electric Boy" in which a man had to win his livelihood (including his clothing) solely by calling into radio station contests.

This week's example of why Japanese TV is 10x better than ours: a gameshow that makes men get dressed in samurai gear, then plow through a tongue twister without making a mistake, or face getting smacked in the nads.  I defy you not to laugh at this clip:

Thank you, Japan, for always giving the audience what they want - Non-stop Automated Nutmuggings.

(Thanks to Dog Bones for the linkage)

You Too Can Be Karl Rove

Help GWB get out of a jam by manipulating his slimy little persona.

Hey, it will keep you busy while waiting for Frank's next post about Ethiopia.

My Brushes With Death

Can't quite pinpoint 'em, but I must've had at least twenty. (Thanks Big D)

Good Fortune

Why doesn't stuff like this ever happen to me? And while we're on the lottery, is there anything more stupid than "sharing" bets with a bunch of co-workers? Baffling.

A Wonderful Toy

Like you never played with one. Courtesy of Pike's Speak. Internal organs hurting. Hilarious.

(If that link doesn't work, try this one.)