The Airing of Grievances

Oh My Effin' Word

The other night on WWE Raw, an enormous electric sign fell on Vince McMahon, whose body was presumably mangled. He was taken to the hospital immediately after. Horrible news. Our thoughts and prayers here at the AofG are with him. Here's footage of the heinous incident.

If you think that's shocking, what would you think if I told you that a legitimate news outlet decided to report this as....wait for it...

...wait for it...

..."actual news."

SoJ: Fark

Update: Damn, they took it down already. It's now been moved from News to the Entertainment section. I'll just paste it after the jump for when they cut their losses and take it down altogether.

Then I Thought: What Have I Got to Grieve About?

I mean, it's not like I have a job where I am too qualified for the things I do, but not qualified enough to really start raking by getting one of those mythical whatchacallits.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  Raises?  Promotions?  I hear people talk about those things and I listen while they wax poetic (you don't know what it means, either, so bag it) about Long Term Incentive Plans, stock options, and country club memberships. 

It's not like I have to go home from the job I love and weed eat (Note to City Grievers - You don't want to know) the creek bank.  During which weed eating I'll potentially have to fend off a family of rabid muskrats and after which my calves will be covered with so much slimy green organic matter that I'll look like The Hulk from the knees down --my calves are real, and they're spectacular.

It's not like I'll have to watch Ryan Seacrest tonight.

Sister Norma spanks the monkey, passes the buck

More guest grieving. You might think I was just getting too lazy to contribute my own shit, but... alright, maybe I am just a little. The floor is yours, Schmoopie.

A 79-year-old nun, Sister Norma Giannini, will be sentenced for felony "indecent behavior with a child" Friday in Milwaukee.

About 40 years ago, when Sister Norma was old enough to know better, she sexually abused at least six boys, having "dozen of sexual encounters" with them as an 8th-grade teacher and principal. (What happens when you get sent to the principal's office stays in the principal's office.)

The Catholic Church found out what Sister Norma was up to in 1996, but of course did not tell the cops. (How egalitarian of the Church! To hide pedophile nuns, too, and not just priests!)

Redefining the Hate Crime 101

So you may have heard about the gothic dude who likes to walk his girlfriend around on a leash. Apparently they were denied entry onto a bus because the bus driver decided that "We don't let freaks and dogs like you on." The money quote...

"It is definitely discrimination, almost like a hate crime," 19-year-old Miss Maltby said yesterday.

All sorts of issues here. Yeah, it's technically discrimination. "Hate crime" seems just a tad extreme. Hard to shed a tear for attention whores who got their attention. I'm not really overly concerned with any of them though because I have something else to obsess over.

Being a father of two girls, I now have to make sure that their lives don't become a series of events leading up to a day where they are allowing Trent Reznor to walk them around in public on a leash. I would hope that this nut-job has serious daddy issues and I'd love to meet the guy so I have a guide on how not to act for the rest of my life. What if he's a perfectly stable and loving parent though? Then what do you do?

Ultimately, here's my question for the AofG faithful: Is it possible to simply do everything right as a parent and still produce a daughter that likes being walked around on a leash? Because that just doesn't seem fair.

Chiles...come on, now.

More Guest Grieving from Craig

AofG Super Commenter Craig has got some stuff on his mind, and he asked me to give it legs. I'm a yes man, so, accordingly, I said "yes." Not surprising to anyone, is it?

Have you seen this? In case your mouse is broken or you really don't like to read websites from Colorado, let me summarize it. Three people were killed in a single car accident near Boulder, CO. They had been drinking and were going over 100 MPH at the time of the crash. As if stupidity like this wasn't enough to grieve about, a local newspaper talked with the sister of one of the victims, who came up with this gem:

"The thing that really makes me feel much better about this is they died doing what they loved to do -- they were drinking, they were going fast and they were together," Lorie Flaherty told the Boulder Daily Camera. "It gives me comfort, it does, to know those three things."

Really? This is what makes you feel better? Who cares about the fact that they were lucky not to take anyone else with them, they did what they loved best. I guess we should all be thankful that what they loved to do didn't involve guns or explosives.

Look, I don't want to make light of the fact that three people lost their lives. (Editor's note: I... uh... I kinda do. Sorry.) They were all human beings with people who loved and will miss them and two of them were parents to young children. However, I can't help but think that this was their own fault and that the attitude shown in the quote from the sister shows a distinct lack of respect for anyone else. An attitude of "we'll do what we want and never mind the consequences" which is all but guaranteed to end poorly, and next time the people with that attitude may just take some poor innocent person out with them.

So, is it just me? Am I overreacting or is the quote really that inappropriate?

Hallelujah!

Suck on that, atheists.

"My mom and I stopped at a church during a road trip we were making from our home in Mexico. "When we went inside, I prayed for the miracle I wanted to happen. I put my hands in holy water and said: 'Please God, give me some breasts'. "And he gave me them! Within a few months, I developed a growing spurt, as teenagers do, and I was very pleased with the way I grew outwards."

As were we all, Salma. That's an intelligent design if I ever saw one.

So has it rained in Georgia yet?

Right Back to the Well Again

So, I got forwarded an email the other day from a dude that I briefly met online while I was searching for recording equipment a little ways back. Apparently, the dude must have thought I was white or something because the email was a White Pride forward. I suppose the fact that I have one of the blackest first names in recorded history wasn't enough of a clue for him, so this thing got to litter my inbox this week.

It reads (and I blockquote):

Someone Finally Said It (And it's long over-due.)
Proud To Be White
Someone finally said it. How many are actually paying attention to this? There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc. ...And then there are just Americans. You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You Call me "White boy," "Cracker," "Honkey," "Whitey," "Caveman," ... And that's OK. But when I call you N*gger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-n*gger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist. You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live? You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi. You Have Yom Hashoah. You have the NAACP. And you have BET. If we had WET (White Entertainment Television)... We'd be racists. If we had a White Pride Day ... You would call us racists. If we had White History Month ... We'd be racists. If we had any organization for only whites to "advance" OUR lives ... We'd be racists. We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that? If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships ... You know we'd be racists. There are over 60 openly-proclaimed Black-only Colleges in the US , yet if there were "White-only Colleges" ... THAT would be a racist college. In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, ... You would call us racists. You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride ... You call us racists. You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer who is running from the LAW and posing a threat to ALL of society ... You call him a racist. I am proud. ... But, you call me a racist. Why is it that only whites can be racists? There is nothing improper about this E-mail. Let's see who is proud enough to send it on.

I could just respond to the dude that sent this to me, but he didn't write the thing, so I figure I'll put this out there where anyone who feels like Google-searching it can find it. Hopefully the original author pops in eventually. And I'm going to the well with a line-by-line response. I apologize in advance to anyone stupid enough to have bought into this crap.

By The Power of Grayskull

Have you folks read this? A guy puts up a wind turbine on his property so he can have non-fossil fuel based power in his house and his neighbors want to shut him down because "it's unattractive and a nuisance." Moreover, he "invaded the public view when he put that thing up."

Awesome. Nice to know the desire to see clouds without being annoyed by a giant fan slowlyturning trumps the desire to get on the clean energy train.

But this raises a question I've been trying to get answered for a long time now. How much power should your neighbors have over what you can do on your own property?

I Can Hear Your Body Calling

Well, well, well. It's not every day that this kind of wisdom gets dropped on the AofG.

Ladies? You're looking very sexy behind that keyboard today. Is that a new mouse? It brings out your eyes. Oh yeah...

For the record, my wife would murder me if I even drove past this thing. How long can it stay up before every man within 50 miles gets a pre-emptive ass-whuppin'?