The Airing of Grievancestag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1011552016-12-03T16:34:03-05:00I got a lotta problems with you people!TypePadTesttag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201b8d241fece970c2016-12-03T16:34:03-05:002016-12-03T16:34:03-05:00Art VandelayIs This Thing On?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2019b001e876b970d2013-10-18T11:09:19-04:002013-10-18T11:09:19-04:00Woah...Art VandelayI Don't Dig on Schadenfreude...tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2016300d93449970d2012-02-06T11:14:11-05:002012-02-06T11:21:46-05:00...but that was kind of awesome. Who would have ever thought that "The Patriots can't beat the Giants in the Super Bowl" would become a theme in the sports world. So check it out...that happened AND I had both Pats-7/Giants-5...Art VandelayAlso, The Movie Groundhog Day Didn't Really Happentag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20163009b9084970d2012-02-02T15:13:45-05:002012-02-02T15:15:53-05:00I can't even work up any snark over this. ABC News actually felt it was necessary to clarify to the public that the process by which the fine folks in Puxsutawney, PA determine the length of winter isn't necessarily scientificly...Art VandelaySo Nobody Wants a Million Dollars?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20167616bcb76970b2012-01-31T11:23:17-05:002012-01-31T11:26:45-05:00I ask this because my wife is going to see some medium tonight which she often does. I love her to death but the woman just revels in her gullibility. Anyway...I'm guessing this doesn't need to be reiterated with the...Art VandelayStupid Knowledgetag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201630038d384970d2012-01-27T10:00:39-05:002012-01-27T10:02:05-05:00Here you have a man running for POTUS telling a bunch of people to stop sending their children to college because they are institutions of indoctrination. By indoctrination of course he means teaching them things like science, philosophy,and critical thinking....Art VandelayGonna Want That One Backtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20167610fb225970b2012-01-25T12:12:42-05:002012-01-25T12:15:06-05:00Here's some footage from an interview with the mayor of New Haven, Connecticut...home of a bunch of Ivy League douchebags and apparently racist cops. When four cops were recently arrested for racial profiling against the Latino community, the mayor had...Art VandelayI Have A Confession To Maketag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20168e5f61a87970c2012-01-23T12:45:25-05:002012-01-23T12:45:25-05:00I love awkward amateur produced videos that promote abstinence to young people. I love them more than Bristol Palin loves redneck douchebags. I don't even completely disagree with the message. Young people really are way too quick to jump in...Art VandelayWould You Mind Sharing My Dick? You Have MS So Why Waste It? In Defense of G-Newt tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2016760cecbf6970b2012-01-19T14:48:51-05:002012-01-19T14:48:51-05:00the awesomeness of ppl who run for president never fails to leave me lmfao. and now that wikapedia is back up i can educate you retards on newts. "A newt is an aquatic amphibian of the family Salamandridae, although not...Mr. KrugerLook At Me, Kruger.tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2016760c0c092970b2012-01-18T14:19:47-05:002012-01-18T14:21:43-05:00Yes. Look at me when I'm talking to you. Have some respect. Yeah, you can make fun of Newman's pictures, or tell him that he just doesn't get it, you can even tell him to go fuck himself with Challenger...NewmanThe Confusing Nature of Whale Sextag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20168e5c0e2ae970c2012-01-18T12:34:21-05:002012-01-18T12:34:46-05:00Look, it's not really up to me to say whether or not whale sex starts off with gang rape...it just appears that way. I mean, this broad clearly wants nothing to do with these assholes and they're all like, "Fuck...Art VandelayA Whale Walks Into a Bar...tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2016760bf92b3970b2012-01-18T12:33:46-05:002012-01-18T12:33:46-05:00...wait, no it doesn't. BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING WHALE. It can't whale it's way into a damn bar. People would FREAK the hell out, number one. That's not good for the bar's bottom line. Second, the whale would crush just...NewmanWHALEStag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20168e5c0aa32970c2012-01-18T12:19:22-05:002012-01-18T12:19:22-05:00You pumped? You love that shit, huh? Well you fucking better because this is all that you're going to get on a SOPA-ed internet. Hey, another whale! Great. Hopefully you all wake up before it's too late. I don't have...NewmanAofG SOPA and PIPA Protesttag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20162ffcac659970d2012-01-18T12:06:16-05:002012-01-18T12:06:16-05:00This is a potentially pivotal moment for the internet as we know it. So hell yeahs AofG is getting in on the SOPA and PIPA protests. Or at least I am. Besides being named by tonedeaf Italian immigrants, SOPA and...NewmanSo This Seems A Bit Extreme, No?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2016760be3e48970b2012-01-18T10:34:25-05:002012-01-18T10:34:25-05:00I have to admit...I had no idea what the hell SOPA and PIPA (Stop On-line Privacy Act & Pro-IP Act) were until this morning when I noticed a bunch of websites are shutting themselves down in protest. So I suppose...Art VandelayI Hope You're Sitting Downtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2016760b4f940970b2012-01-17T19:15:20-05:002012-01-17T19:15:20-05:00In this week's edition of News That Is Surprising to Exactly Nobody, Paula Deen came out of the pantry and revealed her secret life as a diabetic. I'm strongly tempted to do a Chiles-trademarked "that is all" here, but it's...AssmanDude, That Afghan Really Tied the Room Togethertag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20167606a1c28970b2012-01-12T12:49:42-05:002012-01-12T12:49:42-05:00I'm sure we've heard about the dastardly Marines pissing on the Talibani corpses over in Afghanistan by now, right? It's an outrage, says Ham Karzai. "A presidential statement described the act as "completely inhumane" and called on the U.S. military...Jack KlompusHealth Benefits to Female Circumcision? tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20162ff6610dd970d2012-01-11T11:21:30-05:002012-01-11T11:21:30-05:00We've been hearing for decades from various monotheisms that taking a knife to a baby's penis and chopping off it's foreskin is all done in the name of cleanliness or something. Nothing to do with divine commandments at all...that's ludicrous....Art VandelayThis Is Fucking Happening?!tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20162ff59a7f9970d2012-01-10T14:10:59-05:002012-01-10T14:10:59-05:00Are you a romantic guy? Are you the sort of fellow that knows his way to a lady's heart? I've got news for you, man. You can't call yourself a true auteur of romantic scenarios if you're not taking your...AssmanAre We Still Allowed To Pick On Georgia, Here?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20162ff57a7de970d2012-01-10T11:10:41-05:002012-01-10T11:31:29-05:00Look...I get it. Math is boring. I mean, it can be very exciting if you happen to be Stephen Hawking trying to figure out the exact size of the universe but the only drawback to that of course is that...Art Vandelay"Oh Come On...It Was a Great Game!"tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20162ff488f8d970d2012-01-09T10:05:36-05:002012-01-09T10:05:36-05:00Oh, sh-sh-sh-shut the fuck up. I don't care how great of a game it was. I am a Steelers fan. I want the Steelers to win. When they lose, I don't enjoy watching it. When they lose in a playoff...NewmanFacebook Idiocytag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20167600582dc970b2012-01-05T11:47:37-05:002012-01-05T12:15:37-05:00As rampant as it is, there are few things that grind my gears as much as this shit... Here's how I interpret this... I'm better than you. I'm simply a better person than you. I'm not better than you because...Art VandelayThe Ron Paul Fascinationtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20162fe95d35e970d2011-12-28T12:21:26-05:002011-12-28T12:21:26-05:00Screw it...I'm on a roll. I don't care who's not listening. Let's be honest, the crop of contenders for the GOP nomination is laughable. Entertaining as all hell but laughable. The idea that everyone has seemed to come up with...Art VandelayAnd One Last From Vandelay...tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201675f7dffbc970b2011-12-27T14:07:31-05:002011-12-27T14:10:54-05:00Okay, I wasn't going to grieve this year either just because we had lost all momentum with this place as so many people do with so many blogs but then I said something about Festivus on Facebook to which Assman...Art VandelayOne Last Grievance from Assmantag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201675f3aa87d970b2011-12-23T12:02:04-05:002011-12-23T12:02:04-05:00Yeah, we suck. Does it matter that most of us do our grieving every day on Facebook, so... nah, I can't excuse it. We suck. All I do is whine about Higgs Boson research detractors and bitch about man stuff...AssmanWhy You Need To Smoke More Weedtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2015433b6fe1f970c2011-07-14T12:35:24-04:002011-07-14T12:35:24-04:00Here's some stoner from Oregon (of course) giving an interview about 15 hours after having his leg cut off by a train. On the surface of course, that sounds like it would be quite the traumatic experience. His reaction? A...Art VandelayHer Intolererance is So Charmingtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e89b3560f970d2011-07-08T13:21:54-04:002011-07-08T13:34:17-04:00So Bachmann becomes the first candidate to sign Iowa's "Marriage Vow," which is basically 14 promises that any Republican candidate has to make in order to be considered a viable candidate I suppose. Anyway, this thing is awesome... "Vigorous opposition...Art VandelayCasey Acquitted; Indignation Feignedtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201543385176c970c2011-07-07T10:12:55-04:002011-07-07T10:14:48-04:00Okay, so Casey Anthony was acquitted of murdering her kid yesterday. You know the story...bones, duct tape, chloroform...I don't need to get into detail. I honestly didn't even follow it but I will say it's kind of weird how the...Art VandelayThe Stones Are Ear-Fucking Me Againtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201538f927238970b2011-07-01T12:52:34-04:002011-07-01T13:20:38-04:00Well I know it's 4th of July weekend and everything but I just came across this English band while getting sucked into the black hole of youtube and holy shit...the sound quality on this is incredible. I don't know who...Art VandelayHidden Tigertag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20154335b205d970c2011-06-29T18:26:19-04:002011-06-29T18:26:19-04:00By AARON "PUDDY" BOND What Tiger Woods needs isn’t a reprioritization of his private life. It isn’t knee surgery. It isn’t the requisite time away from the game to come back 100 percent. It’s Rory McIlroy. Now hold your horses....Jackie ChilesNBA Draft 2011tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201538f64aa10970b2011-06-24T00:39:00-04:002011-06-24T00:39:00-04:00Considering that it's 2011, it would make sense for me to do this thing on Twitter. I know that. Long form writing isn't in vogue, or something. Twitter is in real time. Apple is doing shit in the iCloud. Woo....AssmanHey Guys!tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20154332047a7970c2011-06-19T23:25:37-04:002011-06-19T23:25:37-04:00I was by myself on Father's day while the girls were waiting on me hand and foot and I had a hammock, I had a High Life, I had a laptop, and I had a keen sense of righteousness. Anyway,...Art VandelayReally Texas...Really?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e88fe84ce970d2011-06-08T10:36:27-04:002011-06-08T12:06:39-04:00I can't with these people. I just can't. I'm still trying to find a way to believe this didn't actually happen but for now, I'll have to deem it to be true. A psychic called the police in Hardin, TX...Art VandelayThe Morons Are Comingtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e88df77b3970d2011-06-03T15:20:05-04:002011-06-03T15:20:05-04:00Just take a quick moment to allow BFF explain the story of Paul revere to us... Please let this women run for POTUS. I will register as a Republican just so I can vote for her in the primary.Art VandelayRay Lewis: Making It Too Easytag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201543278086b970c2011-05-22T17:42:53-04:002011-05-22T17:42:53-04:00Ray Lewis is awesome. He's full of enthusiasm and is a great football player. He's an inspiration to young athletes everywhere and a testament to longevity in an unforgiving sport. He also, more than likely, killed a guy. Maybe two...AssmanMacho Man Deadtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20154326d34b2970c2011-05-20T13:24:37-04:002011-05-22T17:45:17-04:00That just sucks. Really really sucks. Now, who's going to sell all these damned Slim Jims we've got laying around here? Leapin' Lanny Poffo? Edit: Why not?AssmanThe Passion of the Rondotag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e20154323ceaeb970c2011-05-11T10:08:24-04:002011-05-11T10:08:24-04:00Look, I would never have the audacity to even imply that Rajon Rondo isn't currently the most courageous man in the universe for attempting to play a basketball game with a hyper-extended elbow but can't we just maybe ease up...Art VandelayUghtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2015432347cf5970c2011-05-09T15:28:09-04:002011-05-09T15:28:09-04:00After last week's Republican Debate, Fox news had a focus group with a bunch of Republican South Carolinians and you're not gonna believe this, but they all think BHO is a socialist. No...really. Now I can guarantee you that none...Art VandelayBest. Painting. Ever.tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e884751b7970d2011-05-06T13:18:53-04:002011-05-06T13:44:34-04:00This might be the first and probably the last time I will ever use the "Art" tag. So real quick, some dude that hates socialism and can work a brush recently pulled all of his art from the BYU bookstore...Art VandelayInfantilism, Anyone?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201543221ab0e970c2011-05-05T11:27:19-04:002011-05-05T11:33:29-04:00This can firmly be placed in the category of low-hanging fruit so I'll let you assholes make fun of Stanley here. I mean, I'm all for rejecting Taboo but REALLY??? FUCKING REALLY??? THIS IS A GOD DAMNED THING, STANLEY!!! I...Art VandelayWait, What?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201538e49a84f970b2011-05-04T09:30:06-04:002011-05-04T10:20:28-04:00I read about this press conference last week and forgot to follow up on it. Better to have the genius of Norm MacDonald highlighting it anyway. Normally when you read about something like this, you think it's gotta be exaggerated....Jack KlompusMore Like "Beeyatch"-ification, Emmiright?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2015432186b84970c2011-05-03T12:35:25-04:002011-05-03T12:35:25-04:00Swallowed up by the news of a royal wedding and the death of a mad man this weekend was the beatification of his holy highness, Pope John Paul II in front of 1.5 million of his closest fans. I don’t...Art VandelayOsama Bin Ladentag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e201543212fc02970c2011-05-02T10:46:51-04:002011-05-02T10:49:32-04:00More like "Osama Bin La-Dead", emmiright? I was hoping to share some words on the disgusting beatification of the PJP-II today but apparently that story has been trumped. I have nothing to say that anybody hasn't. It's very emotional and...Art VandelayThe Official 2011 AofG Mock Drafttag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2015432020d07970c2011-04-28T16:30:15-04:002011-04-28T16:30:15-04:00Alright fools. This is Newman speaking. I’m now blocked from the AofG. Soon I’ll likely be blocked from Word and I’ll have to type these up in Notepad, print them out and fax them to Vandelay. But it will not...Art Vandelay"Carnival Barkers" Like Dogs That Just Doesn't Know When to Shut Uptag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e881c1df5970d2011-04-27T13:07:44-04:002011-04-27T13:07:44-04:00As you know, for the last four years the right wing media-suck circus has been dying to see the President's long form and they wouldn't stop screaming and crying until he whipped it out. Today he did just that and...Mr. KrugerOkay Look...tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e87cbf81e970d2011-04-14T13:02:41-04:002011-04-14T13:05:00-04:00...I'm not saying that BFF is a liar and a scumbag. What I'm saying is that she's either a liar or a scumbag. Seriously ladies...the picture above of a 37 week pregnant women posing with one of the aliens from...Art VandelayPeyton Manning Needs That $60Ktag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e60ec7fd4970c2011-04-14T11:09:03-04:002011-04-14T11:09:03-04:00Oh, hey AofG. What's up. I've been blocked from GMail, Zuckerbook, and all the other popular websites at work, so it may be time to get back into this whole typing words thing. I doubt it will hold as I'm...NewmanShould Jon Kyl Be Allowed To Govern?tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e87c59408970d2011-04-13T13:21:15-04:002011-04-13T13:25:25-04:00As the evidence adds up that Arizona is quickly surpassing Georgia as the most fucked up state in the union (and is it any surprise that Georgia just adopted Arizona's immigration laws?), we now have the sad tale of Senator...Art VandelayAl Sharpton -v- Cornel Westtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e60baed96970c2011-04-12T11:35:00-04:002011-04-12T11:40:19-04:00The Big Reverend Al calls out Cornel West. Beautiful. (Fun starts at about the 2:00 mark.) Did I exceed my word limit Assman?Jackie ChilesThis Man Is Still Talkingtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d83451c7bb69e2014e8726b788970d2011-03-31T20:53:07-04:002011-03-31T20:53:07-04:00And we're back to our friend Louie Gohmert. After having taken up Congress' time in the past introducing us to the idea of "Terror Babies", proposing that Congressmen should be packing heat wherever they are after the Gabby Gifford's incident,...Art Vandelay