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July 08, 2011

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Faith

That slavery thing isn't even a promise of any kind. It's just...weird. O_o WTF, Iowa? WTF?

Vandelay

Yeah, that was just an explanation for one of the promises. Fucking nuts though, huh? To be fair to Iowa, this is just some powerful fundie group that came up with this and probably doesn't represent the views of most Iowans. I probably shouldn't refer to it as "Iowa's" Marriage Vow.

Assman

So, if somebody signs this thing, we'll get... what... three months before we find out they're sleeping with someone of the same sex?

Dr. Whatley

Never trust a state with only one consonant.

Vandelay

Hopefully, it's Bachmann and BFF. How's that for a scandal.

With all the shit about adultery, I'd be interested to see the look on Gingrich's face when he signs it.

Bethany

Faithful monogamy between one man and one woman........how many members of Congress can say they fit that bill?

Schmoopie

Yes, things were awesome during slavery. Were you a woman linked to an abusive man? Tough shit! You have no freedom. You ain't going anywhere, honey.

Assman

Hopefully, it's Bachmann and BFF. How's that for a scandal.

I needed a moment to digest this. It's not the most realistic scandal in the world, and, even if they were caught scissoring on live TV, the spin machine would stop it before it got ten feet out of the gate.

But... if it did happen, it would be a great month to be selling Kleenex in a Republican state. Short of watching them team up and give head to Jesus in the White House, I'm not sure what else could set the balls on fire faster.

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That picture of Bachmann reminds me of Ricky Bobby and his not knowing what to do with his hands.

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