"Another feather in the cap for the City of Detroit." "What do you call a few deaths in Detroit? A day that ends in 'y' " I can hear the other crappy jokes now. The City of Detroit has nothing to do with this. It's just tragic all the way around.
As a former stud athlete, then fat fuck, now kind of athlete who picked up running again a year ago, and ran a similar race not more than a few weeks ago, I see/hear shit like this and, well, cringe. I mean, how in the hell do three seemingly healthy men and avid runners collapse and die while running the same race within 20 minutes and two miles of each other? Is this coincidence? Or is there some possible foul play afoot? Tainted water? Crappy air? Christ, two of the guys were younger than 40 years old and they still collapsed and died. Statistically speaking, there are only 8 deaths per million participants in Marathons, so three deaths in a HALF Marathon seems really odd. It'll be interesting to see the autopsy results, but I'll go ahead and chalk it up to bad luck.
With that being said, I had a conversation with a co-worker of mine who came out with this gem: "See? It just goes to show you that running in any capacity is bad for you. That's why we have cars." He was being serious and not trying to be funny at all. Mind you, this gelatinous pile of shit was sucking back a French Cruller and a Monster Energy Drink, he reeks of Salami and cigarettes and sweats profusely just by pushing out a turd (I presume). This guy is an asshole. I can't stand him. Anyway.
Heart disease and overall fat-fuckery kill about 600,000 people every year in this country. Directly speaking, running doesn't even touch this stat. I was headed that way and yeah, I'll blow myself and say that I changed my ways and am in good shape. I'm not quitting the activity, I'll just make sure I see my doctor a little more often and hope that God doesn't want me while running and have me collapse wearing running shorts so short that my hairy balls hang out. No disrespect.
RIP fellow runners.
That's really weird. Almost beyond coincidence weird.
The guy made headlines for catching a home run ball? You'd think the actual home run would have been the story.
Posted by: Vandelay | October 19, 2009 at 10:38 AM
As a lazy fatty myself, I don't read more into it than it's worth, really. Bad luck, is all. Agreed with Vandelay that it's almost beyond coincidence weird, but still...just coincidence when it comes right down to it.
That guy you work with sounds like a treat, though. ::shudders::
Posted by: Faith | October 19, 2009 at 12:58 PM
That guy you work with sounds like a treat, though.
He very well could be the idea behind Fat Bastard. Minus the Scottish accent.
The guy made headlines for catching a home run ball? You'd think the actual home run would have been the story.
That particular HR was outstanding though. I still remember Ordonez hitting it. Even I, a Cubs fan, was yelling loudly "get the fuck outta here!" at that one. And this guy caught it? That's an interesting side note.
Posted by: Dr. Whatley | October 19, 2009 at 05:04 PM
I agree that it's almost too weird to be a coincidence. Maybe they were all on speed or something of the sorts? A coworker just ran a marathon in Baltimore and had a guy collapse and die a few yards in front of her.
Yeah, it sucks that it *may* be giving running a bad image in some capacity, but not to people who love running and aren't fat fucks who make excuses for being fat like, "Running in any capacity is bad for you."
I'm curious to know what you actually said to him after he said that. I probably would've said, "Stuffing your fat face with lard all day is bad for you, too, but you don't seem to mind that now do you?"
Posted by: April | October 19, 2009 at 05:13 PM
I ran cross-country in high school and did the bare minimum of roadwork during my boxing days -- but on a whole I despise running. That conclusion fully arrived one year while watching the Boston Marathon with some drunk buddies who went to BC. There were thousands of James Taylor-looking dudes sporting bloody nipples and tiny shorts staggering down the street like a bunch of zombies. And a pasty woman with shit running down her leg. If what you're doing is making you shit yourself in public, you at least better have a fuckin' grizzly bear chasing you or something. I am content knowing I'll never experience the so-called runner's high.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | October 19, 2009 at 06:57 PM
If what you're doing is making you shit yourself in public, you at least better have a fuckin' grizzly bear chasing you or something.
Now there's a perspective I hadn't thought of. I'm not really fond of the idea of shitting myself.
Posted by: Dr. Whatley | October 20, 2009 at 09:00 AM
I picked up trail running about six years ago. I go out an average of 2 times a week 8-12 miles each time depending on how much I drank the night before. I mountain bike on off days and snowboard an average 70-90 days a year even heading down to Chile in the summer to get a fix. So I used to think I had this health thing squared away and in the bag until my last check up and the blood test came back with my cholesterol levels at over 300. Which Doc Gaines interpreted to mean I was about ready to drop dead. It doesn't figure. I eat responsibly, have barely any blubber hanging off of me, and I get off on kicking fucking crap out of myself with these woodland hobbies. So now for the first time in my life on taking non-recreational drugs that are supposed to keep me alive and I don't even feel any fucking different then I ever had before. I make sense out things like this by thinking that it's probably better to die like these guys doing something you love rather than on a hospital gurney with tubes sticking out your ass and a battery charger on your heart.
Posted by: Mr. Kruger | October 20, 2009 at 10:10 AM
He knows that sometimes cars run into each other, right?
Posted by: Newman | October 20, 2009 at 10:33 PM