Shitty Burgers

Here's an interesting little debate. And by interesting, I mean, "Only in fucking America is this even up for debate."

It seems that there are a group of folks out there that would like to see hamburger eliminated from America's diets. No, this isn't a PETA thing, which is good, because those fuckers can eat my dick. These people are folks who have done their research on hamburger, specifically E. Coli contamination and, in some cases, have personally been affected by family or friends dying because of E. Coli related medical issues.

Now, I get the point of when something bad happens to the people we love, we are filled with a mix of emotions that cause us to react in a pretty hard line stance kind of way. People who lose loved ones to drunk drivers take that stance, as do people who die by firearms, drugs, etc. But hamburger? Somewhere, Ray Kroc is rolling in his Hamburglar casket.

Now, I have an issue with this. Why? Because I love burgers. I love hamburger helper. I cook chili with it. I'll put it's grease in my hair when I'm having a rough hair day. And I don't see the issue with it whatsoever. Really people, this is hamburger. A processed food that billions of Americans eat over the course of a year. And outside of a few isolated incidents where a person becomes infected by a pathogen that kills them, it is a safe food item that has made many people not go hungry, so relax. Not to mention we are debating an issue that only could be had in America. Millions of people are starving world wide, and here we are saying "burgers are bad for you. Eat Tofu." Fuck you. Ask the people of Darfur whether or not they are worried about poop in their food. You won't find one. Why? They don't have shit to eat anyway, nor time to worry about poop in the food they have.

With that being said, and while I agree that some food processing plants are shady and could use an ass kicking, "banning" anything is bad. Banning a food item because 3 people ate undercooked meat that reeked of bovine ass and died is going way the fuck overboard.

Really, I just loved the quote, "We have eyes in the front of our head. We have fingernails. We have ... teeth and long legs. We were designed from the get-go ... so that we could chase down smaller, stupider creatures, kill them and eat them."

Case closed.

Comments

[Faith]

I liked what the Kowalcyk chick had to say about it...""We do not want to tell people what to eat or what not to eat," she said. "We want consumers to have the information they need to make educated choices about what they feed themselves and their loved ones. And we want better protections in this country for food. Americans believe that their food is safe, and they have a right to know the risks."

Exactly that. Let me decide what I'm going to eat, dammit. Just make sure I have the information necessary to choose my food products in a smart, informed manner, is all.

That said, I had been craving a McD's hamburger and fries for the past 2 weeks, and finally decided to just get lunch from there on Saturday this past weekend. I wound up getting a horrible stomach ache that didn't go away until 4 the next morning, and it really ruined my Saturday football watching experience, along with the lovely party my husband and I attended on Saturday night. (I didn't accidentally shit in their living room, or anything...it was just an uncomfortable couple of hours of pretending to be happy, is all.) That'll keep me from giving in to a craving like that again any time soon.

[Assman]

That said, I had been craving a McD's hamburger and fries for the past 2 weeks, and finally decided to just get lunch from there on Saturday this past weekend. I wound up getting a horrible stomach ache that didn't go away until 4 the next morning, and it really ruined my Saturday football watching experience, along with the lovely party my husband and I attended on Saturday night.

Truer words have never been spoken. People... if you want to be healthy and feel good... eat shitty foods every day of your life. The second you stop eating burgers because you're afraid of some lame assed bacteria or your weight or whatever, you're just making it hard to adjust back to eating like an asshole when the cravings hit.

I hope they make hamburgers illegal. The only way that my daily guacamole and cheese stacker could be improved would be if I also felt like I was getting away with something every time I ate it.

[H.E. Pennypacker]

Fast Food Nation (the book, not the movie) describes why, when mass-produced ground beef gets contaminated, millions (and not, say, dozens) of people get sick: if you have a few gigantic food-processing plants handling a big percentage of the ground beef in the country -- as is the case now, because fast-food chains like McDonald's demand the lowest price possible, and that forces companies to consolidate their meat-packing plants into these gigantic facilities -- then, if one of those factories gets contaminated, well, that's a huge deal. On the other hand, if one local butcher has a contamination problem, only a small number of people are affected.

It's not that eating ground beef is inherently evil (although you may disagree with me if you're Hindu); it's the whole scale of the meat-packing industry today which is the problem.

[Mr. Kruger]

The food industry has no way to control all that shit. A cow is one big shit factory. Hack that fucker open and you have shit flying everywhere. It's all about minimizing risk. The better they do it the more it costs them. Eventually implementing all those controls is going have a higher cost than shelling out a few million in liability suits. Hence people die. But that's the risk you take everytime you stick something in your mouth whether it's peanuts, bagged lettuce, or fried stinkbug.

[Jack Klompus]

"it's the whole scale of the meat-packing industry today which is the problem."

I disagree that the packing plants are the main problem. There's no definitive smell or color that signals e coli contamination. Even the most meticulous processing won't eliminate the possibility of e coli contamination. Will it lessen it? Yes, of course. But there's still the responsibility of maintaining proper storage and preparation of the beef after it leaves the packing plant. Properly cooking food will usually kill e coli. Similar to what Kruger points out, there's an assumed risk everytime you eat food. And that risk is heightened when you decide to eat a medium rare hamburger, raw spinach, or drink unpasteurized fruit juice.

[Kenny Bania]

There are a few studies out there that say meat eaters are also much more likely to get some forms of cancer. Guess what? Cancer me up. A life without meat is a life not worth living.

I saw some doucher on TV that hoped to live well into his 100s by eating a 1900 calorie diet that consisted of a shit ton of bland garden foods and the occasional tiny piece of fish. I'd kill myself way before I died naturally if I was that guy. Go eat your pound of mixed greens with no dressing. I'm going to eat this Double Quarter Lb'er WITH Special Sauce, geek.

(side note - You can request special sauce on any burger at McDonald's. Try it. It's awesome.)

[Faith]

Guess what? Cancer me up.

Hear, hear, Bania! Absofuckinglutely agree. If I live to be 100, I'm gonna be pissed.

[Kenny Bania]

Cocoon: The Return was on yesterday and I thought it taught great lessons. Old people die, and Steve Guttenberg got mad pussy in the 80's.

[H.E. Pennypacker]

There's no definitive smell or color that signals e coli contamination.
That's true; I wasn't arguing that point at all. What I was saying was that, because these plants are so gigantic, instead of an outbreak of E. coli affecting 30 customers of a local butcher who grinds his own ground beef, hundreds of thousands of people are at risk because that contaminated beef goes to a dozen states.

[Jack Klompus]

"What I was saying was that, because these plants are so gigantic, instead of an outbreak of E. coli affecting 30 customers of a local butcher who grinds his own ground beef, hundreds of thousands of people are at risk because that contaminated beef goes to a dozen states."

Your point is certainly logical. But I don't think the size of the packing plants addresses the actual problem. It has more to do with practices. Not to mention, what is easier to monitor/regulate -- the few centralized or the many scattered?