AofG Relationship Advice

With the ever growing number of atheists in the world, it’s fair to presume that the dilemma over what to do when an atheist and a Christian (or any other faiths) cross paths will also become more prevalent in society. You see, when atheists aren’t “serving the devil” they tend to go about living otherwise normal lives. Sometimes they’ll even partake in a common ritual known as “mating.” Quite often, two people may find themselves extremely attracted to each other, get to talking, perhaps even dabble in some more intimate relations and then BAM…the truth comes out. You’re dating an atheist. What to do…what to do?

Well I think there’s a school of thought that says if two people really want to be together, any contradictory beliefs in regards to religion and politics can be overcome simply by detaching them as far away from the relationship as possible. If that’s not feasible, this type of conflict can actually be productive in helping each other grow as individuals. Perhaps the atheist can look at their mate and admire the fact that this person can put so much faith in something that they can’t possibly know anything about and learn to be less cynical and more open to acknowledging the possible existence of a divine being. Then maybe the Christian can look at the atheist and admire the fact that this person has chosen to lead a good, moral life not because of the reward of eternal salvation or the fear of eternal damnation but because gosh darn it…it’s the right way to be.

Admittedly, I’m no expert on spirituality or relationship advice; I’m just casually throwing all that stuff out there. For the only true answer, I think we know where we need to turn. Take it away, Pat…

Okay, so there's that too.

Comments

[Faith]

Wait...does Pat Robertson know what a dill hole he is, or is that something just us outsiders are privy to knowing? Because that is straight up idiotic, what he said in that video. Amazing.

[Mr. Kruger]

The Romans had the right idea. Christians make excellent pet food.

[Kenny Bania]

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

-George Carlin

[bethany]

I need to tell you I had a WTF moment!
I thought the network was CNN (quick look at top left corner of the screen with the network letters of CBN) and when the interviewer commented on how right he was I had a moment of absolute shock!

So, my husband will be enjoying the fruits of heaven and I will apparently be burning in hell--we seem to be doing okay marriage wise, though thanks Pat!

He sounds like he's sick. As in not well. Like sands through the hourglass...
He's circling the drain, if you get my drift.

[Newman]

Awesome setup, Vandelay. Top devil-fucking notch.

[Whatley]

Awesome setup, Vandelay. Top devil-fucking notch.

No kidding, Newman. Place it directly on the tee and swing.

I kinda had a feeling I knew what this dickweed was going to say before I even clicked "play". Then again, what did this retard who asked the question in the first place expect? Tolerance for dating a heathen? Shit. That's like expecting de-segregated proms in Georgia.

[Assman]

Yeah, my wife is in seminary school and I'm, per Pat Robertson, serving the devil his daily sun chips and iced tea. Fortunately, neither of us is a zionist dickhole, so we try not to smother each other with pillows while the other is asleep.

[Vandelay]

That's like expecting de-segregated proms in Georgia.

That's a little like what he's suggesting though isn't it? In Pat Robertson's world, believers and non-believers would be completely segregated because let's face it...that's the only road to true peace. The scary part is that to more than half of the country, what he just said makes perfect sense.

I mean does this fucking asshole really not understand the difference between an atheist and a satanist?

[Kenny Bania]

I mean does this fucking asshole really not understand the difference between an atheist and a satanist?

These are the same people that bang the war drum to kill brown people in another country that don't believe in the same God, yet conveniently forget that whole "Thou shalt not kill" thing. They also pick and choose which things to follow or take literal in the Bible, and then only follow or believe the ones that suit their needs and don't make them seem wacky.

In other words, no. Atheists are doing the devils work.

[Vandelay]

They also pick and choose which things to follow or take literal in the Bible, and then only follow or believe the ones that suit their needs and don't make them seem wacky.

See I'm actually okay with that. It's the ones that take the whole thing literally that scare the piss out of me.

[Kenny Bania]

See I'm actually okay with that. It's the ones that take the whole thing literally that scare the piss out of me.

Nothing to be afraid of unless you're an abortion doctor. History has shown in this country that Christianity has been on a constant decline. I think the introduction of the internet has only sped this process by a large amount due to easily accessible information. The biggest factor of any brainwash is to get them young. Now kids are able to see other ideas from an earlier point in life, and make their own decision.

[Whatley]

...serving the devil his daily sun chips and iced tea.

I think Satan is a Baked Lays kinda guy. He has those Keebler Elves down there, too. I think.

[Vandelay]

The biggest factor of any brainwash is to get them young. Now kids are able to see other ideas from an earlier point in life, and make their own decision.

I don't think that most religions are toxic to young people. There's always extremes but the basic tenets of mostly every religion can provide a good moral foundation in young people. It's when you get older that you start to see all the bullshit.

[Kenny Bania]

If telling a child that not being a Christian means you go to hell in a burning lake for eternity isn't traumatizing, then I don't know what is. Even the least extreme forms of it still lead to the eventual discussion of "What happens to those who don't believe?" The answer is always the same - Hell. I'm definitely not saying all Churches are fire and brimstone, but when pushed into a corner they typically don't waiver on eternal damnation for not accepting Jesus as your lord and savior.

One of my favorite writers http://philalawyer.net/ has a good quote I like:

But that's basically "faith" - collective, tribally-reinforced suspension of disbelief... And the oddest thing is, it's utterly unnecessary. Devout or non-believer, the golden rule's still the same: Don't be an asshole. If you need the balsa wood artifice of organized religion to remind you to treat people as you'd want to be treated, you don't need prayer. You need a fucking psychiatrist.

[Vandelay]

But that's basically "faith" - collective, tribally-reinforced suspension of disbelief... And the oddest thing is, it's utterly unnecessary. Devout or non-believer, the golden rule's still the same: Don't be an asshole. If you need the balsa wood artifice of organized religion to remind you to treat people as you'd want to be treated, you don't need prayer. You need a fucking psychiatrist.

That's brilliant stuff right there. I wish I had written it.

We use myths to teach kid's lessons all the time. Santa Claus for instance is a myth invented to dictate a child's behavior. He's not much different to the way that God is portrayed. It's just that eventually you'll realize it's bullshit just like you realize that a talking snake told some chick made from a guy's rib to eat an apple and that's why people are bad is bullshit.

[Mr. Kruger]

Santa Claus for instance is a myth invented to dictate a child's behavior.

yea, and look how well that worked out. Every American brat who doesn't get a minimum of $300 dollars worth of disposable crap every xmas throws a fucking hissin' fit and turns into a miserable little head case.

God + Santa Claus= $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
That's the entire story from top to bottom.

[Kenny Bania]

That's brilliant stuff right there. I wish I had written it.

Go through his archive on his site. The guy has great insights, and most of them are things we are thinking, but don't quite get them across in writing as succinctly as he does. His book is an entertaining read as well.

God + Santa Claus= $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
That's the entire story from top to bottom.

It's also for control. Like picking political sides. I'm going to pimp some more Philalawyer here, but he just writes it better than I can.

Red State v. Blue State, Bro v. Metrosexual, Traditionalist v. Progressive... All of its "branding" bullshit, sold to you by Madison Avenue and K Street. Just like the Marlboro Man and the War in Iraq. It's intended to keep you squabbling, identifying with factions supposedly at each others throats. Keep you stupid, focused on illusory enemies, purchasing the literature, badges and products sold by the mouthpieces of your tribes, all manufactured by the same three or four companies buying the same amount of advertising time on the allegedly competing networks. You cheer along with Rachel Maddow when she rips into Bill O'Reilly? Get excited when Anne Coulter calls Al Gore a fag? Guess what? They all go to the same resorts on the holidays, the ones you can't afford. You're the "mark," dipshit, buying into their shtick, greasing their merry go round with your hard earned dollars. You want to better yourself, better our political system? Turn it all off and lock up your wallet. Starve the beast until it chokes on its swollen tongue.

http://www.philalawyer.net/archives/commencement_20_1.phtml