Weird rap lyrics seem to be the only thing I've been posting recently. I might just have to start another blog dedicated solely to that matter...despite the fact that I don't really like single-subject sites.
Regardless, the latest culprit is horrible (I mean really fucking horrible) rapper Lil' Boosie, who "blesses" a Young Jeezy track in the same way that a priest blesses an eleven year old boy. From Young Jeezy's "Everything":
you can't see me when with a magnifying glass
two hundread on the dash
trys some gangs i bust your ass nigga
whole clique iphones
nigga get your shine on
Wait...what? Has it come to that, rappers? Seriously? Bragging that your entire clique has an iPhone? You have to be joking. Ok, Lambos, bling and cribs I can understand. Guns...ok. Fine. Guns are ok, too. But fucking iPhones? Who doesn't have an iPhone that wants one? Even homeless people are downloading Avril Lavigne songs from iTunes these days. You can probably get one for under $100 on eBay. And that's something you're bragging about? You've fallen off, rap. Really. I'm embarrassed.
But, I'm here to help. Some more things you can brag about that might be a tad more impressive than iPhones:
"Yo, me and my dogs all got wireless internet"
"Mothafucka, I saved like two hundred switchin' to Geico"
"You should see my whip, I've got nitrogen in the tires as opposed to regular air"
"Yo, my whole clique in the IN Network and get unlimited texts"
"Fuck Porsches, my crib's got two porches...and I got a farm in the back that's got two horses"
"My pencil eraser clicks, that's a mechanical pencil"
"Son, I do my taxes on a TI-83 calc...that shit graphs, yo"
"My rims shiny, I cleaned them myself with Armor All wheel cleaner"
"I get on the plane first, I fly business select...it comes with a free drink voucher, i get a Bud Select"
"My grass is tight, I cut that shit with a Lawn Boy"
"Fuck five-dollar footlongs, I'm getting the steak sub"
"XBox Live Silver? Nah, I got XBox Live GOLD"
If you rappers need anything else, feel free to get at me, dogs.