I know...I seem to have a bit of a semi for targeting rappers in my grievances. To which I respond, hey, at least I'm making a post that is an actual "grievance" as opposed to a picture-play involving Vandelay singing Manilow tunes to his cat. So rappers are easy targets...whatever. I'm not a very deep or profound individual. I'll take the low-hanging fruit. At least it's healthy.
On my way into work today, I was listening to some Cam'Ron just in case I needed to get fired up for a drive-by while I was going down 95. You never know, right? So I'm listening to "Leave Me Alone Pt. II" from his platinum CD, "Guns, Drugs, and Penetration" or whatever the hell it was called. Well, it's getting gangster, you know, typical Cam'Ron "Yo, I got guns and stuff, sons and stuff, you dumb or what, my winter hat come with muffs" type meaningless rapid-rhymey lyrics. And then I hear this:
You GS3? I'm GS4
You in a Lexus, I'm Gulfstream four
Up in the sky on the Gulfstream tour
You want beef? We'll start a Gulfstream war
Lay ya ass down on God's Green Floor
We playin' Golf in the Gulf Of New Mexico
What? You are playing golf in the Gulf of NEW Mexico? Do you own a fucking map? Does Cam'Ron really think that there is both a Gulf of Mexico and a Gulf of New Mexico, or that New Mexico touches the Gulf of Mexico, or that New Mexico is its own country, or that there is a golf course somewhere in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico? I was so lost that I wrecked my car and died on the spot. I seriously just drove into the median at 85 mph out of confusion. After being resuscitated by the paramedics, I told them exactly what I had heard and they had the same perplexed look on their face...collectively, we just could not figure it out.
There can't be another reason. Nothing else makes sense. I mean...it's not even a play on words. Those have to make some sense, no? And it's not like he just slipped...you get to write this stuff down first. Trust me, I know. And if you f it up, you can just redo that part. I mean...if this is your job, and you make Turkish billions of dollars doing it, don't you think you would re-record that or someone would at least tell you, "yo...dog...what the f are you talking about there?". I can't figure it out.
Either way, my next song is going to talk about drinkin' Cristal at the Rocky Maivia of Gibraltar.