THE 2008 AofG FESTIVUS EXTRAVAGANZA

Hey-Yo!!!!

Fellow grievers...the day has come. Our time is now. Today, we unofficially recognize this wonderful holiday known as Festivus. I believe this is our blog's fifth observing, which isn't bad seeing as five years ago, nobody knew what a blog even was. Today, we look back on 2008 not with admiration...not with pride or any sense of well-doing, but with nothing but good old-fashioned disdain. Sure we can get down next week with the hugs and kisses and everything else that comes with those mushy holidays but for now let's all sit back and prepare for some complete and utter scorn.

We had another great year over here at the Grieve and as always we'd like to thank anyone who drops by and takes the time to actually read what we have to write. We may seem contemptuous at times...some of us all the time (Klompus)...but the reality is that we probably wouldn't waste the time writing anything over here if nobody was reading it. Life gets in the way sometimes so we recruited a couple of new contributors who have really done a great job in picking up the slack for some people (Assman and Chiles) so a shout out to them as well.

Finally and I think most importantly, there'd be no grieving if we had nothing to grieve about so a very special thank you has to go out to the following: Our BFF(I wonder if we'll have any grievances directed her way); Hill; Jeremiah Wright; Amtrak; comic book geeks; goth douchelets; religious whack-jobs; hypocrite politicians; idiot celebrities; Assman's intramural basketball team; Vongphoumy; Artest; old Massholes; arrogant sprinters and those who loathe them; fatties on death row; Mavericks; bailouts; hurricanes; and last but not least...Georgia, Georgia, Georgia. Obviously, many, many more.

As it was last year, we're coming at you live from Chez Vandelay. This post will remain on the top of the page and grievances will be posted under it continuously throughout the day with hyperlinks to all of them on this post. We'll kick it off with the Airing of Grievances and if time permits we'll give someone a shot to pin me in the Feats of Strength. If you have anything you'd like to get off your chest and feel like joining the party, shoot me an e-mail with your grievances at festivus1223@gmail.com and I will squeeze you in. Without further ado, let's get it on! As always, we lead it off with Founding Father Frank...

- Frank
- Vandelay
- Dr. Whatley
- KristalK
- TurdFerguson
- Klompus I
- April
- mathesond
- Kranepool
- Assman
- Texans Tragedy
- Kruger
- Newman
- Non-Linear FC
- Flash Warner
- Michelle
- DSafetyGuy
- Brontoburglar
- That French Guy
- Puddy
- JJ
Sam
- hdo
- Bensell
- Klompus II
- Klompus III
- Feats of Strength

Comments

[Assman]

Man, your youngest daughter looks like she really, really has a lot of problems with a lot of people.

[Vandelay]

Oh trust me...she does.

[April]

What an awesome picture!! Your daughters are adorable. How can you be mad at them for leaving a mess?

[Jack Klompus]

While cleaning up seems to be important, safety apparently is not of great concern to you. Good going leaving the cords hanging off the front of the table housing that Christmas Tree Shops Village scene. That's not an accident waiting to happen or anything.

[Kel Varnsen]

Very cool to start your kids observing Festivus at a young age! The day will come, I predict, that it will be a mainstream holiday (albeit one that won't be a work holiday). I sent out Festivus cards this year--I love doing it because it's non-denominational and I don't have to second-guess sending Festivus cards to my Jewish friends.

[Jack Klompus]

"Man, your youngest daughter looks like she really, really has a lot of problems with a lot of people."

I'm thinking it would make a great logo for this blog. The old Frank is worn.

[Vandelay]

I don't think you'd be able to read the signs because it'd be too small.

Not a huge turnout today. Brilliant entries though. I blame the day of the week (this place is always slow on Fridays) and the east coast being pounded with snow.

[hdo45331]

No Jackie? No Coz?

Now, there are two AofGs right there.

[Vandelay]

Chiles is in work hell.

[hdo45331]

Coz on house arrest?

[bethany]

Happy Festivus, grievers.
Somehow I stumbled upon your blog with last year's annual rants, and have enjoyed your blog all year! Best wishes in '09!

[blogenfreude]

And to you NYC tourists who stand around in the middle of the sidewalk pointing at things - stop it. Sidewalks are for walking. Learn how to behave in the city. We have far too many herds of cornfed Midwesterners here, and you getting on my nerves. Walk on the sidewalk at a brisk pace - if you want to stand around, get out of my way! I have things to do.