We don't see Frank too much anymore as he's moved on to bigger and brighter things in Boca Vista but as some of you older readers know, there'd be no AofG without him and for that we'd like to hope that he's always here to at least kick off Festivus. This year is no exception.
Happy Festivus to all of you reading my creation, on my holiday. Since we last spoke, I had a moth problem in the Costanza residence in Queens and, as we know, I WILL NOT TOLERATE INFESTATION! So, Estelle and I moved to London, of all places. My secret weapon, my son George, is still keeping me in cabana wear by competing with the big boys, IBM and Microsoft, selling computers out of the old garage. And the new surroundings are nice. Even so...
I GOT A LOTTA PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE, AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT!!!
Bosses - Here I thought it was just a problem in my last job, apparently bosses and I do not mix well in any job. Mine is smart enough, that's for sure. He's too smart. As in, the opinion he asks for, if he disagrees with it, is wrong, and he'll proceed to tell you why. For 20 minutes. Tell you what, don't ask me, I won't tell you what I think, and we'll both be happier. Or, better yet, just go away and let me run things like I usually do anyway. Spend time with the beard you call a wife, I'm sure berating and ordering her around is alot more fun in person than doing it over the phone, where everyone else can hear.
Bernie Madoff - Making life more difficult for anyone working within a sniff of the financial industry, this guy had to come along and cost his investors the annual GDP of Croatia, in the stupidest, simplest way possible. I suppose there's one positive from the whole thing - given the list of charities and business leaders ripped off by Madoff, it finally destroys the unfair stereotype of the Jews being good with their money.
Sarah Palin - I know, too easy, right?. But really. I mean, really? Look, America did a great thing, we've moved mountains in the way we've gone about choosing our leaders. But this woman? She came within a butt hair's width of being thought about as a consideration to be an old fuck's heartbeat away from the presidency? Her being that close is an insult. Actually, this isn't about Sarah Palin, it's about....
America - Actually, no, I'm kinda pleased with America right now. It's really about...
The 25-30% of America that Approves of the Last 8 Years And Thinks An Ignorant Housewife Should Be Leader of the Free World - You do not deserve the uninstitutionalized life. Might I suggest a secessionist movement? There's one in South Carolina, apparently one that Mr. Palin likes in Alaska, get on it and leave. Go.
Wall Street Salespeople - I used to be one, so this is a bit hypocritical. But really, in my line of work, they are worse than useless. Usually content to copy and paste what a trader or strategist emails them, the salesperson takes no time to actually understand what they're doing and has no concept of the world going on around them. For them, it's all about production. Unfortunately, some of them are useless people that actually have some degree of power. They're the George Bushes of the financial industry, too stupid to know how useless they are. Not mad enough yet? Remember folks, these are the same people who bought lap dances, steak dinners, and Vegas boondoggles to entice people to buy CDOs.
TFL - Let's say your commute is 30 minutes on a good day, 20 minutes of which is spent on some form of mass transit. Where you work is also where thousands of other people work, such that the ride home is always crowded (you get into work very early, when it's not so bad). Let's also say that where you work, you only have one way of getting there, the same way that almost everybody else uses. Why, then, does it escape the capabilities of Transport for London to provide good service in peak hours, particularly on Friday nights? How many fucking signal failures and sick passengers on the Jubilee Line are there? And why does it take half an hour to fix them/clean up their puke? Does anyone think about this? And no air conditioning? You're giving the MTA a good name.
Grievers, it's been a long day, and Ye Olde Boca Vista is calling. Happy Festivus and stay negative!
- Frank Costanza
Unfortunately, some of them are useless people that actually have some degree of power.
My old boss was that way. He was clueless about how certain financial instruments worked, like Annuities or Mutual Funds, ye the was loooo-aded because he had excellent people working under him that knew their shit. Then he'd insult us by giving pep talks to the underlings. The GWB of Finance? Yep. That's him.
Posted by: Dr. Tim Whatley | December 19, 2008 at 01:02 AM
Nice to see Frank leading things off. And the BFF Palin count begins.
Posted by: Assman | December 19, 2008 at 09:34 AM
Your boss and my boss must have gone to the same boss college.
Posted by: Jason | December 19, 2008 at 02:41 PM