Bristol Got a Baby

Obama said leave the family alone... but I don't work for him.

She's having a baby, which is proof that abstinence-only education works about as well as the rhythm method. But, since this is the Airing of Race Cards, if she was Bristol Obama, would she be getting the free pass?

Or would she be Bristol Obama, somebody baby mama?

Comments

[Vandelay]

Is she getting a free pass? It seems to me like she's about to be the poster child for what happens when you don't condone sex-ed or promote safe sex.

[Newman]

I can't really disagree here, as much as I'd like to. Bristol Obama would be an f-ing s-word storm. However, I think Bristol Biden would be pretty bad too, and would reinforce the immorality of the left. We are such heathens.

[jackie]

I hear Bristol can barely spell her own name.

That is what I hear.

[BIG SEXY]

BIG SEXY SAYS:

"PREGGERS OR NOT, I'D STILL HIT IT; MOMMA P. TOO."

[Aaron]

From baby daddy's myspace page:

On his MySpace page, Johnston boasts, "I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."

"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.

He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids."

[Vandelay]

Yeah, that redneck picked the wrong girl to knock up.

[Newman]

Hey, I love f---in' chillin' as well. And I'll kick ass.

Oh, just to get some more hits, Myspace Myspace Sarah Palin Briston Palin Obama Myspace Myspace McCain. Do your thing, internets.

[Ocho Ocho]

So much hypocrisy so little substance. I give BO the nod for staying above the fray. But we cannot let them skate totally.

[jackie]

Was she really holding the other baby over her tummy when they took that picture on 8/28? Did they think they could hide this? No effin' way they could be that dumb, so I don't see the logic.

I tell you what too, I know nothing of Sarah Palin but I can comfortably conclude that she is a very selfish woman.

Why accept the bid when you have to know this is going to come to light and end up with your daughter being taken to the media woodshed?

[Ocho Ocho]

All this really says is that middle earth is really pissed off and wants to put an end to whatever they are mad at about today. No more intellectuals, no more liberals, no more minorities or immigrants.

They want their country back and don't care who runs the country as long as it aint a thinker or a nigger.

I mean seriously how can Palin be said to be ready to be President. Most of the time reasonable people can disagree. This is not reasonable. It borders on silly.

If BO was white the other side would have given up already.

[Vandelay]

Not only that Chiles, but do you believe for a second that McCain and Co. knew about this the whole time? That they actually thought it was a good idea to take someone with an abstinence-only platform that currently has a pregnant teenage daughter? That's absurd.

[phil]

If she were Bristol Obama, she could have had an abortion.

I sincerely hope the Obama camp stays completely away from this little wrinkle.

[Jack Klompus]

Given the success of Juno, this could really help McCain get more of the young vote. I just wonder if Bristol and her friends had a Gloucester pact.

[Ocho Ocho]

Vandelay, you think they did not know. That would simply be too good to be true. McCain and his temper will fester and distract him. You'll know if they did not know.

It does make sense, I will nominate a woman with no experience and an unwed teen daughter. Yep that's the ticket.

[jackie]

Whether they knew or did not know, it reflects incredibly poorly on the McCain camp. That said, in my humble opinion, it would be much much worse if they did not know.

[Assman]

"PREGGERS OR NOT, I'D STILL HIT IT; MOMMA P. TOO."

Well, somebody had to say it.

Why accept the bid when you have to know this is going to come to light and end up with your daughter being taken to the media woodshed?

Fair question. It's gotta be hard being 17, having a boyfriend that's a confirmed redneck twat, having a baby, having a little brother with Down's that you're going to have to help raise, being named after a retarded city in Connecticut, hearing the entire country make jokes about your mom being "Caribou Barbie", then having to read assholes on the internet like me talking shit about you. Way to toss her under the bus, mom.

That they actually thought it was a good idea to take someone with an abstinence-only platform that currently has a pregnant teenage daughter?

As far as I'm concerned, this is the big issue. When I was 17, I had no problem fucking, so I can't blame her for seeing the same light. I just don't know how they get around the apparent hypocrisy of their political stance here.

[Ocho Ocho]

What If Bristol Palin Were Black?

[Ocho Ocho]

"I just don't know how they get around the apparent hypocrisy of their political stance here."

Easy: Redefine your stance or simply ignore it. Seems to be working so far.

[Ocho Ocho]

or show lots of Hurricane footage and claim to be Americans before Republicans.

[Jack Klompus]

"What If Bristol Palin Were Black? "

Well, then Sarah Palin would replace Taye Diggs' wife as the white woman most hated by sistas.

"Way to toss her under the bus, mom."

Who tossed who under the bus first? I know you're governor, Mom -- and potentially a VP candidate. And I know you advocate abstinence only education. But I'm gonna go ahead and knock boots with this redneck dipshit anyway.

"I just don't know how they get around the apparent hypocrisy of their political stance here."

Why, was Bristol an abstinence spokesperson on behalf of her mom? Sometimes your family does shit you can't control. It's how you deal with it that counts. I doubt Hillary Clinton advocated adultery.

[Newman]

To be fair, I have read that Palin supports contraception. So wrap it up, douchebags.

[Newman]

Also, it bears noting that just last week I mentioned a desire to motorboat what has turned out to be a pregnant 17-year old.

[Jack Klompus]

"Also, it bears noting that just last week I mentioned a desire to motorboat what has turned out to be a pregnant 17-year old."

Has your stance changed?

[Assman]

Why, was Bristol an abstinence spokesperson on behalf of her mom?

No... and that's exactly the point. Abstinence-only eductation doesn't work. The 'hypocrisy' element comes from preaching it, watching it fail miserably, then all standing around and acting like 'we're going to be supportive in her time of need' when they should be thinking 'well, maybe we need to re-think our don't-get-pregnant plan for the kids'.

[Ocho Ocho]

"Well, then Sarah Palin would replace Taye Diggs' wife as the white woman most hated by sistas."

Please elaborate. I thought Digg's wife hated for taking him. Why Palin?

[Newman]

I'd prefer to wait until she's a year older and a year...less pregnant. But then it's back on again.

[Vandelay]

Klompus, the issue is that you're presumably going to have to instill a value of abstinenece on an entire nation and you can't even instill it in your own kid? Look, I realize that parenting is hard and someties shit is gonna go wrong no matter what you do, but politically speaking (translation - fuck logic), this is real easy to attack.

[Assman]

I'd prefer to wait until she's a year older and a year...less pregnant. But then it's back on again.

Age of consent is 16 in Alaska. And she can't get pregnant while she's pregnant, so, if you're gonna be that guy that does that... no sense in waiting. Motorboats away.

Klompus, the issue is that you're presumably going to have to instill a value of abstinenece on an entire nation and you can't even instill it in your own kid?

Yeah, that's probably the simpler way to asy it. I keep thinking... you want to win these arguments about judgement and having stronger policy points that work, etc., and then you trot out evidence that your abstinence policy doesn't work every time you take a stage with your family.

Politically, it's just weak sauce.

[Newman]

This is why it is so much easier to be on the side of "just fuck away, people".

[Mr. Kruger]

That they actually thought it was a good idea to take someone with an abstinence-only platform that currently has a pregnant teenage daughter?

McCain has already said they knew about the knock-up before they chose Palin. If they didn't- too late now to let her go. It all fits in nicely with the hypocrisy mold the right wingers have a fancy for.

In reality she's nothing more than a smokescreen for the real issues affecting the country- like thousands of people being tossed out on the street after foreclosure and millions more going bankrupt with health care debt. Anything to keep the public from distracted is a good thing for the GOP.

She says she worked to stop the infamous bridge to nowhere earmark but that bill died a year before she even got into office.

The McCain camp says as Governor she has commander in chief experience but she didn't make one military decision. They say Russian missiles lie 45 miles from the Alaskan coast and we're supposed to translate that as "Oh Palin has all kinds of intelligence experience on Russia." The fucking Pentagon handles the country's military business not Governors.

And as a member of the Alaskan Independence Party- a secessionist group that wants nothing to do with the U.S. you can reasonably call her a fucking traitor on top of being a liar.

[Jack Klompus]

"Abstinence-only eductation doesn't work."

It didn't work for Bristol and her dirtball boyfriend. Doesn't mean it won't work for others. In fact, teen pregnancy rates have been steadily going down since 1981, hitting an all-time low in 2005. It wasn't until 2006 that they rose again. But abstinence-only education didn't just start in the last few years. And for the record, I don't think abstinence should be the only method taught. It's foolish to think one method will be the fix-all for this. I do think you're polarizing here, though.

[Jack Klompus]

"teen pregnancy rates have been steadily going down since 1981"

Apologies, I meant 1991.

[Jack Klompus]

"Please elaborate. I thought Digg's wife hated for taking him. Why Palin?"

I was exaggerating. Diggs' wife is still #1 on the sista hit list. Still, sistas are about as happy as redneck dads when white girls get down with the brown.

[jackie]

"Who tossed who under the bus first? I know you're governor, Mom -- and potentially a VP candidate. And I know you advocate abstinence only education. But I'm gonna go ahead and knock boots with this redneck dipshit anyway."

That is some seriously high comedy.

[jackie]

Before we rush to judgment on Palin, I think we all need some clarity on whether or not she taught her daughter that taking it up the seat does is a-ok and does not count.

[phil]

And as a member of the Alaskan Independence Party- a secessionist group that wants nothing to do with the U.S. you can reasonably call her a fucking traitor...

Interesting point, except, if you look here:

www.akip.org/platform.html

Platform item #1 suggests they are supportive of and compliant with US jurisdiction, but they feel entitled to a vote on the options of becoming part of Canada, being a US territory, remaining a state, or becoming a sovereign nation.

They are a little out there.

[Dr. Tim Whatley]

"I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess.

"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass."

I guarantee he didn't even get his cock in her. Anybody that reeks of douchebaggery like the above quote represents clearly is a two pump chump, if that. The cold northerly wind blew it just right and whoops!

Gotta love myspace, too.

[Assman]

It didn't work for Bristol and her dirtball boyfriend. Doesn't mean it won't work for others.

Abstinence works. 'Abstinence only' is like telling kids they'll go blind if they masturbate.

In fact, teen pregnancy rates have been steadily going down since [1991], hitting an all-time low in 2005. It wasn't until 2006 that they rose again.

And I'd be willing to attribute that more to Salt-N-Pepa than I would be to abstinence-only.

And for the record, I don't think abstinence should be the only method taught. It's foolish to think one method will be the fix-all for this.

Right. Takes the 'only' out of abstinence-only.

I do think you're polarizing here, though.

Absolutely. It's my job to be an ass about things when I can.

[Kristal K]

Knocked up daughter aside, the way the Republicans are bellyaching (yeah, I said bellyaching) about the fact that the press are in Alaska vetting Palin is ridiculous.

Clearly, Ms. Palin was not vetted by McCain and thus, someone has to do the job. IF McCain wins and something horrible happens to this spry 72 year old, we've got an Evangelical, self-proclaimed "hockey mom" (who's clearly done a great job there) in the White House who's biggest achievement, to date, was being the mayor of Mayberry and governor of a state with a population equal to the city of Baltimore...

What are the odds she drops off the ticket before the week is out?

[Jack Klompus]

"the way the Republicans are bellyaching (yeah, I said bellyaching) about the fact that the press are in Alaska vetting Palin is ridiculous."

Of course. Only Democrats are allowed to play the media victim card.

"IF McCain wins and something horrible happens to this spry 72 year old,"

If something happens to Obbie, we get a 66-year old with a history of brain aneurysms that was historically unwanted by his party in the role of president.

"self-proclaimed "hockey mom" (who's clearly done a great job there)

Because her daughter got pregnant, she's a lousy mom? Or are you saying she's lousy because none of her kids made the NHL?

"who's biggest achievement, to date, was being the mayor of Mayberry and governor of a state with a population equal to the city of Baltimore..."

And yet, that's still more governance and reform than Obama's done.

[Kristal K]

"Of course. Only Democrats are allowed to play the media victim card."

Never said that, but comparing the Palin press scrutiny to the "papparazzi murder" of Princess Diana is a bit much.

"Because her daughter got pregnant, she's a lousy mom? Or are you saying she's lousy because none of her kids made the NHL?"

Not calling her a lousy mom, but if you're going to be a Conservative/Family Values candidate, you might help your platform if your teenage daughter is NOT knocked up by the town jock...and yes, she should have at least one of her children playing for the Ottawa Senators...

"And yet, that's still more governance and reform than Obama's done."

I'm not overly impressed by her ability to "reform" the governor's mansion by getting rid of the majority of the staff & call her husband the "First Dude" -- beyond that, I honestly haven't done enough reading on her to know exactly what she's done in Alaska...which is sort of my whole point -- we know NOTHING about this woman, except she's a moose eating, former beauty queen, with a disabled child, a pregnant daughter & a husband who works for BP...I need a bit MORE information than that for the potential #2 executive in the Federal Government and preferably NOT just what the Republican party wants me to know.

[Mr. Kruger]

The biggest problem she has right now is the investigation on her firing the police commissioner she didn't like because he wouldn't fire a state trooper she had a beef with from before she became Governor. 84% of Alaskans polled say she's full of crap when she says she fired him for not going after alcohol bootleggers in the operating in the hinterlands.

[Assman]

we know NOTHING about this woman, except she's a moose eating, former beauty queen, with a disabled child, a pregnant daughter & a husband who works for BP...I need a bit MORE information than that for the potential #2 executive in the Federal Government and preferably NOT just what the Republican party wants me to know.

Well, thanks to the vetting media jackals, we now also know that she:

a.) left the town she mayored $22 million in debt when it had zero when she got there, and

b.) might have been a member of a political group that considers whether or not Alaska should secede from the USA.

We also know her husband got a DUI 22 years ago, but that has nothing to do with her, so I'm leaving it out.

[Vandelay]

c) She has a batshit insane preacher that thinks anyone who questions the president will go to hell but fortunately for her, he's white.

[H.E. Pennypacker]

I doubt Hillary Clinton advocated adultery.
But the Dems are supposed to be adulterous heathens, no?

The point is that the irony of the anti-choice, abstinence-educatin', scandal-ridden Governess' is so delicious, it makes lemon merangue pie taste like Brussels sprouts in comparison.

[H.E. Pennypacker]

In fact, teen pregnancy rates have been steadily going down since [1991], hitting an all-time low in 2005. It wasn't until 2006 that they rose again.

1991-2005: 15 years in total

1993-2001: 8 years in which Bill "Keep it in my pants? Why?" Clinton was in power

8/15 = 53% of the time that teenage pregnancy was decreasing, a godless Sodomite was in the White House

2006: teenage pregnancy increases
2006: a born-again, abstinence-first born-again Christian is in the White House

Maybe the downward trend in teenage pregnancy in the '90s was due to other factors? And maybe the increase in 2006 was due to abstinence-first programs being in place? I'm just pissin' in the wind here, but there are a lot of countries around the world who (a.) don't push abstinence as much as the US and (b.) have far lower teenage pregnancy rates (e.g. the Netherlands).

[Schmoopie]

It may sound like hypocrisy for a right-wing evangelical to be "proud" of her pregnant teenaged daughter. But you know what? The Christian Right prefers that women be virgins when they marry (men, of course, need not be abstinent). Second choice isn't "sexually active but smart enough to avoid pregnancy or childbearing so she can get an education." Second choice is "knocked up and getting married, getting an early start on being barefoot and pregnant, being an obedient wife to the Master of the House."

The Christian Right thinks it would be great if all sorts of white girls would get married and bear white babies starting as early as possible. Birth control is bad because it allows women to make choices that aren't about being tied down—college and a career aren't what the evangelicals want for their young women.

Pregnant non-white teenagers are, of course, deemed to be immoral sluts who can't keep their legs together. White sluts are redeemed once they start popping out babies, because they want to increase the white evangelical voting bloc.

[Newman]

Politicians base every decision they make on anecdotal evidence and conjecture.

"If you make birth control available, they will bang more and our society will crumble".

Even if statistics show otherwise.

"If you give the rich tax breaks, they will make it rain on the poor".

Sure they will.

"If we tax the profits of oil companies, they will lower their prices so as to have less profits".

Dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Hence, I hate politics. Oh, and I'm still planning on running for president in 2020.

[bethany]

She's not a shitty mom because her kid got knocked up.

She's a shitty mom because she's making (or even letting) her pregnant 17 year old marry the baby daddy.

The right wing will paint this picture as the best case scenario for the rare case that abstinence doesn't work; daddy marries mom to be, and all is right with the world. That's why we don't need to let anyone have abortions, because you can just marry the baby daddy, silly. Problem solved. Time to get rid of those "activist judges" and overturn Roe v. Wade, right?

***latest conspiracy theory is the pregnancy is a sham, designed to refute the claim that the 5 month old baby is actually Bristol's, and that Bristol will "miscarry" in the not so distant future--thereby solving everyone's problems***

[Dingo]

***latest conspiracy theory is the pregnancy is a sham, designed to refute the claim that the 5 month old baby is actually Bristol's, and that Bristol will "miscarry" in the not so distant future--thereby solving everyone's problems***

The tinfoil hat brigade is out again. This must be a homerun for McCain.