You people are not going to believe where this is happening. Wait, all of you guessed "Ohio"? Damn. Whatever.
This man, Richard Cooey, is currently on death row in Columbus, North Florida Ohio, waiting to be executed for some murderrapes he committed back in the day. However, his lawyers argue that he is too fat (5'7", 265) to be put to death due to the inevitable trouble the executioners of death will have in finding his veins, and surely they don't want to deal with another media storm when another fat prisoner writhes to death after a barely-lethal injection. And since you aren't allowed to shoot him in the head or put him on a train to Edmonton, I guess the only alternative is to force him to eat 3 Hardees value meals a day. I believe Hardees is second only to slave revolts on the list of leading causes of death amongst Southerners.
In spite of the time I spent in the Northwest PA-Eastern Ohio area, I still do not have any experience shooting myself up with needles, and therefore am certainly not an expert here. But still, can it really be that hard with current technology to find one of this dude's veins? Couldn't you just get a longer needle or something? And while I'm sure that maybe a little bit of extreme pain isn't really too undeserved for a murderraper, is there seriously no way to take a needle and accurately insert it into one of this dude's veins? I can't figure it out, man.
Word is, Richard Cooey used to be able to dunk a tennis ball. So he's really let himself go.
I fully expect this to be a well thought out, reasonable exhange of ideas on the implications of capital punishment.
But still, can it really be that hard with current technology to find one of this dude's veins?
Not if lawyer's have anyting to say about it. I just read the article that you didn't link to and apparently there is a precedent for this and they went ahead with the execution anyway so I'd say Youkilis is out of luck.
Word is, Richard Cooey used to be able to dunk a tennis ball. So he's really let himself go.
Bravo.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | August 05, 2008 at 09:48 AM
I linked to it right after I posted it. And the last time they did that, there was a bit of an outcry. So maybe Youk is in luck.
And this is in no way meant to be a discussion on the merits of or against capital punishment discussion. Please don't let it turn into that please don't let it turn into that please don't let it turn into that
Posted by: Newman | August 05, 2008 at 10:12 AM
Word is, Richard Cooey used to be able to dunk a tennis ball. So he's really let himself go.
GFY.
Posted by: jackie | August 05, 2008 at 10:21 AM
Man, Adam Savage is looking really bad.
Wasn't there a guy in Washinton (state) back in the early 90's who claimed that he was afraid of needles, so they shouldn't be allowed to perform lethal injection and that hanging, the other form of execution in the state, was cruel because he was afraid he would be decapitated? It seems like no matter what the case may be, the method of execution always seems to be the last-ditch effort to get a stay of execution.
Posted by: Craig | August 05, 2008 at 10:59 AM
Sometimes - when stories like this come up - China's total lack of human rights makes crystal clear sense to me. Shoot him in the head and say he was trying to escape.
Wonder what will hurt more, a less than perfect lethal injection or the major myocardial infarction he is destined to have soon?
Posted by: lattalayne | August 05, 2008 at 11:12 AM
The guy has been taking anal injections for the last few years. What's so different about this one?
Posted by: Crazy Joe Davalo | August 05, 2008 at 11:21 AM
How about adding another ventilation hole to his brain housing group?
Posted by: Killer Marine | August 05, 2008 at 11:28 AM
"The guy has been taking anal injections for the last few years. What's so different about this one?"
Bravo, Crazy Joe. Bravo. Even if this dude does look more like a pitcher.
Posted by: Dr. Tim Whatley | August 05, 2008 at 11:30 AM
There's a guy that really appreciates a good sandwich. And a good murder.
Posted by: Assman | August 05, 2008 at 03:41 PM
How do people on death row have access to all of these calories anyway? Shouldn't they be feeding him just enough to keep him alive?
Posted by: Vandelay | August 05, 2008 at 03:47 PM
And since you aren't allowed to shoot him in the head . . .
Send him to Utah -- I think they still use the firing squad here.
Posted by: Steve | August 05, 2008 at 07:19 PM
In a slightly related story, I took a Greyhound bus out of Edmonton today (I'm now in Saskatoon), and my head is totally still attached to my body. I'm pretty proud of myself.
Posted by: H.E. Pennypacker | August 06, 2008 at 12:29 AM
Can't they just give him some laughing gas so he doesn't mind the needle digging for the vein? Works for the dentist.
@ Vandelay:
We lawyers will get you every time. Don't feed them enough, and this: believe it or not, some prisoner sued a prison because he had lost too much weight. A "lack of nutrition claim". Check it at TSG: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0427081arkansas1.html
(I have no idea how to make this a hyperlink)
Posted by: bethany | August 06, 2008 at 10:13 AM