You wanta some pole? Itsa greasy.
Here's something for the fathers of daughters here at the AofG -- something to make you think about getting the old shotgun out. Last July I wrote about my exploits at St. Peter's Fiesta in the seaside town of Gloucester, MA (aka Eye-talian New Orleans). It was right before Puddy whined about us not having a Men's Wimbledon post (whaa). Anyway, I'm sure at least some of you have read/heard/seen the news recently about the 17 high school girls that made a pact to get pregnant while in high school. Yep, same city. Anyone surprised?
Of course, now Gloucester "officials" are disputing the evidence of a pact. Right, 17 girls 16 years or younger just coincidentally get knocked up at the same time (in a school of about 1000 students)? Just a small blip in the data? Please. And of all the theories and opinions bandied about, this is about one thing and one thing only: parenting. It has nothing to do with the fledgling fishing industry, being Catholic, providing contraception, Hollywood, etc. If a 24-year old homeless guy has access to a 15- or 16-year old girl, a parent just flat out isn't doing their number one fucking job. There's a got to be some serious World-of-a-Warcrafta going on for that shit to go down.
Yes, I understand I was just there a year ago. But no, it wasn't me. And I won't be posting about Wimbledon this year, either.
Isn't that basically what the common homeless man's "Dear Penthouse" dream is? Being approached by teen girls who want you to jump their bones then go back to the bench?
"Dear Penthouse... I never thought it would happen to me, but..."
Posted by: Assman | July 01, 2008 at 02:27 PM
Parenting
I hope so.
Klompus, I owe you one big time for this post and reminding me that Italian Mardi Gras is this time of year. I'll be staying in Rockport, one town over, from Thursday-Sunday. Do you know the actual dates of this thing? Rockport isn't exactly known for being "fun." I want in that contest. I think I can fool the Matza into thinking I'm a wop. All I have to do is show him my driver's license.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | July 01, 2008 at 02:35 PM
Now I'm excited. I found youtubage of last year's big event.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | July 01, 2008 at 02:44 PM
"I'll be staying in Rockport, one town over, from Thursday-Sunday."
That's funny. My parents live in Rockport. I would be there as well but can't travel right now for obvious reasons. But yeah, Rockport sucks. However, you CAN rent a kayak (in numerous pastel colors) to paddle around the ice cold harbor in. Honestly, your best bet is to take in some saltwater fishing (either by charter or off the shore).
"I want in that contest."
Trust me, no you don't. Stick to the greasy food, booze, and spectating. And while you're checking out the hot young girls that look like they're in their 20's...remember they're probably high school sophmores looking to get seeded.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 01, 2008 at 03:09 PM
Rockport is actually very nice in a quaint sort of way but for some reason those dry towns don't attract the most lively crowds. I'm gonna have to explore why that is. Does your dad have a saltwater pole I can borrow?
Posted by: Art Vandelay | July 01, 2008 at 03:33 PM
"Rockport is actually very nice in a quaint sort of way"
Quaint. Another way of saying it sucks and could never live there for more than 3-4 days.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 01, 2008 at 03:46 PM
Heh. Exactly.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | July 01, 2008 at 04:17 PM
Hmmm, no pact?
Sounds ripe for a class action lawsuit v. Trojan!
Posted by: Bethany | July 01, 2008 at 07:02 PM
where is this year's wimbledon post?
Posted by: puddy | July 02, 2008 at 08:11 AM
where is this year's wimbledon post?
Yeah, I guess it's a lot to expect you to notice that 6 foot tall drop dead gorgeous blond laying out in a bikini on the beach a few posts down.
Anyway, Wimbledon isn't over until Sunday but when it is, I'll be sure to look for more KJ Choi updates.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | July 02, 2008 at 10:10 AM
"Pathways for Children CEO Sue Todd, whose organization runs the school's on-site daycare center..."
Yeah, looks like they're pretty well used to this sort of thing, anyway.
I don't get what the big deal is with the town officials being all, "It's NOT a 'pact' ok? It's coincidence. Purely coincidental, possibly act-of-God kinda stuff, alright? No one said there was a 'pact'!"
What's the big deal? Why is a pact suddenly like a jihad to them, or something? They need to get over themselves. Their fucking high school has a DAYCARE in it. Am I the only one that finds that part of the story disturbing?
Posted by: Faith | July 02, 2008 at 01:45 PM
"Why is a pact suddenly like a jihad to them, or something?"
An explosion of teen pregnancy is one thing, and certainly a concern to city/school officals. I'm sorry, but a coordinated effort by teens to get pregnant signals a MUCH bigger problem. And there was anecdotal evidence to support the presence of a pact. Some of those girls were flagged as high-risk for teen pregnancy when they were in the 6th grade.
"Their fucking high school has a DAYCARE in it. Am I the only one that finds that part of the story disturbing?"
It hasn't always had a daycare. This is relatively new and is a direct result of this phenomenon.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 02, 2008 at 04:13 PM
Their fucking high school has a DAYCARE in it.
The school in which I teach had one too (until recently), but few if any kids in it belonged to our students. It just happened to be some space in a public building that the daycare organization rented, which was in a convenient location.
Posted by: H.E. Pennypacker | July 02, 2008 at 11:21 PM
"I'm sorry, but a coordinated effort by teens to get pregnant signals a MUCH bigger problem. And there was anecdotal evidence to support the presence of a pact. Some of those girls were flagged as high-risk for teen pregnancy when they were in the 6th grade."
Um, Klompus, that was kinda my point. Why are they denying it? What's the big whoop with admitting that some 15 and 16 year olds did something stupid and banded together in the doing of it? In so-called "pact" form?
It's stupid that they are being all, "No one said 'pact' here...move it along people. Nothing to see here." about it, IMO.
Posted by: Faith | July 03, 2008 at 01:14 PM
"It's stupid that they are being all, "No one said 'pact' here...move it along people. Nothing to see here." about it, IMO."
Yes, that's what my original point was. Essentially we were saying the same thing, just shrouded in our respective forms of sarcasm.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 03, 2008 at 02:09 PM
Klompus, you weren't kidding abut that water in Rockport. I'm still a little chilly.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | July 07, 2008 at 11:34 AM