As you may or may not have heard, those world-renowned "boffins" of Wales have already cured every cancer, immunized their country of every other disease known to man, completely abolished the detrimental effects of global warming on their land, and just last week they managed to split a quark. Now they can finally turn their attention to the important matters... getting the drunks home safely.
After using computer simulations based on the Welsh to mimic the movements of people staggering home after a good night out, researchers came to the staggering realisation that drunk people trip over things.
The article goes on to explain that drunk people can piss off sober people and become targets of violence. It's a huge problem in Wales because according to the article, you go out on the street late at night, a quarter of the pedestrians are so drunk that they are staggering. Besides getting themselves beat up, this staggering can actually impede their progress. They're now figuring out ways to redesign the streets in an attempt to get the inebriated Welshmen to bed as quickly as possible.
I guess until our scientists discover that elusive cure for cancer, we'll just continue to throw our staggering drunks in jail.