Vongphoumy*

A local heart-warming story has raised the ire of a friend of mine so I figured I'd look into it a little. In a nutshell, this woman was caught trying to escape communist Laos when she was 16 and sent to a farm where I assume some sort of slavery was taking place. Two years later she escapes to Thailand and spends two more years in a Thai refugee camp before ultimately making it to the U.S., marrying and giving birth to four kids; one of who just became the first girl to ever win the Rhode Island Interscholastic League Individual State Championship in golf. Now that your soul is all warm and snuggly, the story does come with one small disclaimer...

Under Interscholastic League rules, female players declare at the beginning of the season whether they will play from the women’s red tees or from the white tees with the men.

“I believe all the girls in the league play from the women’s tees,” said Mike Lunney, the Portsmouth High athletic director and Interscholastic League director of golf.

At Cranston, the combined distance from the women’s red tees is 5,329 yards, compared to 6,109 yards from the white tees.

Now people can debate Title IX all they want but I think this girl and others have every right to compete in the tournament since her school doesn't even have a girls team. She did however compete in the RIIL Girls' Championship last week and didn't even win that. Before I go on, I'd just like to clarify that I'm not one of those people who think boys should be allowed to play on the girls' field hockey team. I think those dudes are giant dweebs. At any rate, while I completely condone allowing the girls to compete, you can put me in the camp that doesn't think they should be able to play the reds. You're flat out handicapping their OWP (opponents with peni) and essentially saying that girls are handicapped by genetics so we're gonna give them a yardage advantage that leads to them having to play what equates to two less par-4s. It's insulting to all parties involved.

My friend isn't so much upset about her winning as he is over the lack of attention this is getting. It really is a complete non-story. Nobody cares. If this happened one state to the north she's getting burned at the stake. While I don't think it's fair, I don't think anyone has the right to protest unless they were already making a big deal out of it. It may be a legitimate grievance but the main issue is that nobody cared when a boy won every year. As a matter of principle, it shouldn't matter who wins or loses...only that it blemishes the essence of sport. HOWEVER...I can just decide be a total dick and make it about me. Yeah, let's go that route.

I also attended LaSalle, which was an all boys school and an athletic powerhouse for most of the century until they went coed, a year which coincided with the exact year I entered as freshman. Now if you take a student body of all males, and suddenly make it 50% male, logic will tell you that this is going to seriously water down the talent level on your boys athletic teams. Little did I know when I enrolled that I'd be playing on a coed tennis team in a boys tennis league. This led to a series of events whereby I would end up transferring to another all boys school after my sophomore year in light of the fact that this coed team wouldn't be scratching the surface of the playoffs during my tenure. Also, I was getting laid so much in high school that it was becoming a distraction academically. I needed to be in an environment where as few people wanted to have sex with me as humanly possible.

Okay, I have to get to a point here, right? Basically, this is nothing against the girls on my tennis team. A couple of them were actually very good players, just not good enough to consistently beat boys. Science has determined that they will generally be slower and weaker than their male counterparts and thereby stand less of a chance of them prevailing in competitions requiring athletic prowess. Now let's go back to this 92 pound phenom who apparently crushes the golf ball consistently. If the RIIL has no problem providing her with that kind of advantage because she's competing against boys, where were they 20 years ago? If they were to step in and tell those girls that since they are forced to compete against boys, they can go ahead and use the doubles alleys in singles and the boys have to play with wooden rackets, would that be a non-issue? Ridiculous, right? Same thing though? Pretty darn close if you ask me.

I knew if I thought about this long enough I'd find my ire.

Comments

[Mr. Kruger]

Science has determined that they will generally be slower and weaker than their male counterparts and thereby stand less of a chance of them prevailing in competitions requiring athletic prowess.

That's unbelievable... it's just... mind-numbing.

My take on this is let the girls have a head start in these things. If they can win easily enough on the red tee then move them back to the white. A better solution would be to have a girls league but if coed competition is only way to get both genders involved in sports then so be it- but the girls should have some kind of starting advantage or else it's not going to make any sense for them to even be participating.

[Art Vandelay]

but the girls should have some kind of starting advantage or else it's not going to make any sense for them to even be participating.

Why? Are you implying that they're athletically inferior?

MIND-NUMBING!!!

[Jack Klompus]

My opinion is that if genders are to be mixed in sports, there should be one set of rules. Girls on occasion have played high school football, and none have ever asked for special rules regarding genetic phyical differences. Bottom line, you can't have equality by setting unequal standards.

Besides, I'll bet this girl still stands a pretty good shot of winning from the white tees.

[Mr. Kruger]

Why? Are you implying that they're athletically inferior?

I'm not implying that obviously. To repeat myself, I'm saying that in order to be fair, in order for there to be a contest, you should have the girls start out with some kind of advantage or match up different skill levels. For example have the best girls compete against the lower skilled guys and move up from there if they can.

What blows my mind is your language- "Science has determined they will be slower..." It's hilarious and baffling. Science doesn't determine anything much less athletic ability... practice and training does.

[Mr. Kruger]

Girls on occasion have played high school football, and none have ever asked for special rules regarding genetic phyical differences.

I don't think you can implement separate rules very easily for team sports. I was thinking more in terms of golf type activities. THe best thing is to have separate leagues.

[Art Vandelay]

Science doesn't determine anything much less athletic ability... practice and training does.

I just put genetics and chromosomes and such in the category of science. If practice and training are the only things that determine athletic ability, why would you want to give the girls an advantage? Because they don't train as hard? That's bullshit. This girl has probably hit more golf balls in the past two years than I've hit in my whole life beyond being incredibly talented.

[Mr. Kruger]

If practice and training are the only things that determine athletic ability, why would you want to give the girls an advantage?

I already said if they can win easily enough on white then move them up to the red. What's so hard to understand about that? And I didn't say they were the "only" things but I would say they are the most important.

[puddy]

any event where people play by different rules is no event at all. when Annika played on the PGA Tour, she played the same tees as everyone else. The rules have to be the same for everyone in every respect or the competition is invalid.

Now, the other day, I played golf with some friends, and I actually played a tee behind them and kicked their asses anyway, so that means that my cock is huge. Or maybe it doesn't mean that.

[Jack Klompus]

"I don't think you can implement separate rules very easily for team sports. I was thinking more in terms of golf type activities."

Fair enough. But I don't think it's a question of how easy it is to implement. It's more a question of equality.

"I already said if they can win easily enough on white then move them up to the red. What's so hard to understand about that? "

Well, the fact that it makes no fucking sense to move to an easier level after mastering a harder one. But I'm going to assume you meant the opposite in terms of tee colors.

[Art Vandelay]

Now, the other day, I played golf with some friends, and I actually played a tee behind them and kicked their asses anyway, so that means that my cock is huge.

At the very least it means your friends have really small ones.

Well, the fact that it makes no fucking sense to move to an easier level after mastering a harder one. But I'm going to assume you meant the opposite in terms of tee colors.

I'm gonna guess he's never hit a golf ball in his life. I'm with you though. The day I realized I wasn't gonna make the tour, I just started to use it as an excuse to party.

[Mr. Kruger]

It's more a question of equality.

Exactly. Use your common sense. Albeit I did fuck up the color code on my last comment.

I'm gonna guess he's never hit a golf ball in his life. I'm with you though.

I have played golf ass-munch and you know it. And what the fuck does you needing an excuse to party have to do with red and white tees?

[Crazy Joe Davalo]

I say the girls have to play from the same tees as the guys, but naked. That should wreck the guys concentration enough for equality. Unless the guys are gay. And then they shouldn't be allowed to play sports.

[Jack Klompus]

"I say the girls have to play from the same tees as the guys, but naked. That should wreck the guys concentration enough for equality. Unless the guys are gay."

What if some of the other females are gay? It wouldn't be unheard of for a female golfer to be a chicken-licker. So doesn't it wreck their concentration as well?

"And then they shouldn't be allowed to play sports."

Well, they let Mike Piazza play baseball all those years, so I don't think you'll have much of a case.

[Art Vandelay]

And what the fuck does you needing an excuse to party have to do with red and white tees?

Absolutely nothing but I'd actually like to discuss some more why you're so obsessed with being a politically correct liberal douchebag that you're incapable of accepting the simple and completely irrefutable fact that women are physically inferior to men (in general) yet at the same time you think they should be given a head start when competing against them in sporting events.

[Jack Klompus]

"you're so obsessed with being a politically correct liberal douchebag that you're incapable of accepting the simple and completely irrefutable fact that women are physically inferior to men"

Not trying to pander, because for the most part I'm with you on this Vandelay. But for fairness' sake, I think maybe the words "physically inferior" are not the best choice. I'm sure you remember seeing your wife carrying and birthing your children. Nothing "physically inferior" about that. Perhaps "athletically inferior" may be better, though I'm sure there are exceptions to that as well.

And for the record, Mrs. Klompus does not read this blog.

[Art Vandelay]

Yeah, I'm referring to things like mass, speed, and force. You know...physics. The foundation of athletics. I'll gladly concede that a woman would kick my ass in a birth giving contest and generally have a higher pain threshhold.

[Jack Klompus]

"I'll gladly concede that a woman would kick my ass in a birth giving contest"

How about a bridge-diving contest?

[Jackie]

How about a bridge-driving contest?

I was thinking more along the lines of a breast-feeding one.

[Jack Klompus]

"I was thinking more along the lines of a breast-feeding one."

Damn. If you were Samoan like Assman, that would qualify as a Snuka.

[Mr. Kruger]

I'd actually like to discuss some more why you're so obsessed with being a politically correct liberal douchebag that you're incapable of accepting the simple and completely irrefutable fact that women are physically inferior to men (in general) yet at the same time you think they should be given a head start when competing against them in sporting events.

What are you talking about. The only reason I would accept a handicap when competing against a woman is exactly for that reason- the strength to weight ratio is less- that doesn't mean they're less athletic- it just means they're at a physical disadvantage and that should be accounted for.

[Art Vandelay]

the strength to weight ratio is less

Alright, well I think we agree. The only difference is that I think that does mean less athletic. Semantics.

[Art Vandelay]

If this girl googles herself, the 4th result is this post. I'm not sure how I feel about that. If she wins from the whites next year, I'm totally taking credit though.

[Assman]

If she wins from the whites next year...

Why does everything have to be racist with you?

And, ma'am, if you've googled yourself and you're reading this, let the record show that the Samoan wasn't trash-talking you. I was thinking it... but never got around to saying it.