The Perfect Storm
Following Assman's AofG crew's rec league adventures lead ... so, last night in my hockey game there is a face off in our end with 7 seconds left in the period. Puck is dropped, clock apparently does not start and about 20 seconds later one of our studs -- an Irish-Asian kid -- is rushing the puck up ice. He's a right handed-shot, gets to about five feet inside the (left side of the) blue line and, with about 3 seconds left on the clock, unleashes and inside-out howtizer which he claims he was trying to bank off an Italian defenseman. The howitzer hit the Italian kid. The Italian kid went down. The Italian kid commenced to shrieking in pain like I have never heard a man shriek in my life. Broken bone? No. Deep tissue bruise? Uh-uh. World Cup audition? Nope, not at all. An about 80 mile an hour slap shot straight to the sack? Yup, you got it. Straight. To. The. Sack. Not wearing a cup. Left rink in ambulance.
Any sympathy? Comparable level of stupidity? Thoughts of franks & beans?
No sympathy. You gotta protect the family jewels.
Just out of curiosity, how are their nationalities relevant?
Posted by: Art Vandelay | June 12, 2008 at 04:39 PM
"Irish-Asian kid"
What the hell does that look like? A drunk math whiz that sunburns easily? I can't even picture that.
"The Italian kid went down....Straight. To. The. Sack. Not wearing a cup."
Nobody to a blame but a himself.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | June 12, 2008 at 04:45 PM
"Just out of curiosity, how are their nationalities relevant?"
Just wanted to let everyone know that the mulattoes are holding it down on the ice.
That, and well, let's say that Klompus is an example of just the type of hitter to which that pitch was thrown.
"What the hell does that look like? A drunk math whiz that sunburns easily? I can't even picture that."
You've done a pretty good job.
Posted by: Jackie | June 12, 2008 at 04:54 PM
"Just out of curiosity, how are their nationalities relevant?"
What? If he doesn't, all we picture is a bunch of stringy white Canuckians zippin' circles around a chubby Iginla. Instead we get Patrick Wong drilling a wicked slapshot right into Mario's gnocchis. So I ask you, Vandelay -- which is a better story?
Posted by: Jack Klompus | June 12, 2008 at 05:05 PM
Oh, the latter is definitely funnier. I just didn't know if I was overlooking some type of Irish-Asian and/or WOP stereotype that made it even funnier than that.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | June 12, 2008 at 05:14 PM
Typical Guinea. I'll sleep well tonight.
Posted by: Mr. Kruger | June 12, 2008 at 10:14 PM
A blogger of my acquaintance recently reported her husband's misadventures with a beard trimmer—he got his nutsack caught in the trimmer. No ambulance needed, I'm sure, but this is a nutty thread.
Posted by: Schmoopie | June 13, 2008 at 12:51 AM