Father's Day Anyone?

I have this weird thing going on where Father's Day makes me a little uncomfortable. I mean, the kids like it which is great but ultimately there's something about the idea of people forcing their gratitude upon me that I can't really get with. Then there's the sort of implication that being a parent is a burden rather than a privilege and a choice and something that I'm supposed to be reimbursed for with gifts and lots of champagne (not a grievance...just typical Vandelaysian overanalysis). Anyone else get that?

At any rate, I've decided that this would be the greatest Father's Day gift ever, despite the irony of my Father's Day gift being a man who once stuck a semi-automatic in his son's mouth for bringing home a bad report card. Does anybody deserve this forced gratitude more than me though? I love that fucking guy! How much fun would that be...and not just for me but for him! We could just drink Red Bull and wrestle for all I care! I own this man's frickin' doll!!!

Make it happen people. PayPal is your friend.

Comments

[Assman]

You know... I get the whole parenthood-isn't-a-burden-its-a-privilege thing, but let's call it what it is for a second here.

It's pretty often a hard, thankless, arduous rollercoaster that you pretty much can't get off of for at least 18 years. Getting to eat lunch at Fuddruckers or something for one day is at least an attempt at reminding you that its appreciated, right? Awkward, sure - but far from pointless.

Gifts are a bit much, but a high five is nice.

[Jack Klompus]

My gift is to go play golf. Meaning I get to go drink and smoke for 5 hours without having to hear the words "diapers and wipes." Then I get to come home and have any/all hopes of a nap obliterated by a guilt trip and a honey-do list. Unless of course my wife goes into labor, which is entirely possible. In which case none of the aforementioned activities get to happen for at least a few months. Yep, it's my special day.

[Art Vandelay]

That's all well and good Assman and you should absolutely shamelessly enjoy your day at Fuddruckers but what does any of this have to do with your contribution to my "Night with G-Lo" fund?

Is anyone aware of the blogging possibilities here? I could put this popsicle stand on the map!

[Jeff]

Off-topic here but did anyone else see Tim Russert died?

[Mr. Kruger]

the BIN is 10K and I'm amazed at how weird it would be to pay a guy anything, never mind that much, to come over your house as a guest to drink your beer, eat your snacks, and occupy your chair just to listen to him tell you how great he was. I put in an offer for you anyway. If I get the high bid I'm making him bring an extra tv set (per one of the questions on the auction page).

did anyone else see Tim Russert died?

I did, someone came in huffin' about it. I was never impressed with his interviews. I hope they get someone a lot smarter to take his place.

[Jack Klompus]

"Off-topic here but did anyone else see Tim Russert died?"

No, but I did see R. Kelly beat the child porn rap. Now my daughter and I can watch the Space Jam credits.

[Art Vandelay]

That's too bad. He seemed like a fairly genuine guy relative to most of his peers.

[phil]

"It's pretty often a hard, thankless, arduous rollercoaster that you pretty much can't get off of for at least 18 years."

Pretty much sums it up. My son graduated high school yesterday. He was so the royal fuck up for several years, and I did absolutely everything to structure the shit out of him so he would get it done. Checkmated me every game. This year, I gave up. Then, he just did it himself. What a dumb ass I am.

I have ridden that rollercoaster. I have cursed myself for ever having a kid. I have reveled in what an awesome kid I had. Yesterday, I was a pretty happy guy.

And, I'll probably die a few years earlier for it all. But it was worth it, I suppose. Could give a crap about Father's Day, though. It's kind of like going to church on Easter.

Enough of that. So, Vandelay, you could probably get Canseco for the same money...