Friday Challenge: Bizarro AofG

I know this is supposed to be the Airing of Grievances and Race Cards, et al. But the still active Masterpiece of Our Domain "What Could It Be, A Mirage" has prompted me to try something different on this very unproductive Friday.  More on that in a minute. First a little recognition. "Mirage" is one of those rare posts that is able to elicit tangent arguments without the original argument getting completely lost.  Kruger has officially surpassed Vandelay as our ace poster in terms of verbal diarrhea-provoking topics.  Well done, Kruger.  You're like a massive Taco Bell overdose to our commenters.

Now to today's experiment.  In "Mirage," there was one (of many) ridiculous comments that got stuck in my pea-sized brain.  Our Native American friend "Likes to be informed" wrote "If the people stood up and said we just want to hear about the issues. This would not be such a big deal."  Ludicrous, of course.  But in quasi-protest to our idiotic "Mainstream Media," let's give it a try just for mierdas y grins.

So tell us which presidential candidate you intend to vote for and why you LIKE them.  Big curveball.  Don't tell us what you don't like about his or her opponents.  Bonus points if you mention an actual issue.  Strike three if you mention or allude to political party affiliations and/or previously elected presidents.  I don't know if anyone here can actually pull it off.

Comments

[Ocho Ocho]

I like Barak and his optional universal health care plan. I like Barak and his alleged desire to at least meet and engage enemies before attacking them. I tolerate his plan to raise cap gains tax.

[Schmoopie]

I will gladly vote for whichever Democratic candidate is nominated.

I like Hillary Clinton's health-care plan, and I believe that universal health care is perhaps the seminal issue of this election. The economy needs attention, obviously, but I think the country is more than ready for the paradigm shift that universal health care represents. Hillary's plan is the bestest. As a woman, I also love the idea of our daughters growing up knowing that "leader of the free world" isn't a man's job.

I voted for Barack Obama in the primary (hey, he's my senator! gotta go with the local hero). He represents a way forward, a way to move beyond the same old crap that we've had for years in terms of politics as usual and race relations. I like his principled objection to the Iraq War from the very start. As someone in a mixed-race family, I also love the idea of "the face America" representing this glorious melting pot of ours.

I like the general Senate voting records of both candidates, and their shared commitment to the ideals of political liberalism that I hold dear.

[Assman]

I support Barack for president because he always identifies root causes of problems (not just symptoms) before offering a solution. His holistic approach implies that he has an understanding of ways to find permanent solutions to issues that are actual solutions, and not just political showboating.

Examples being his tax plan (re-structuring the formula for long term stability), his energy plan (immediately invest in alternatives), his all-inclusive health care plan (you can have it, but you don't have to) and his foreign relations philosophy (we're willing to listen and think before acting).

I also like that he has consistently addresses issues and matters of controversy around him directly and treats the American public like adults. The transparency is refreshing from a politician in a nation where we habitually make big deals out of our leaders having human flaws.

Examples being his former drug use, his personal relationship with his preacher and his issues with quitting smoking.

[Jack Klompus]

Klompus: "Strike three if you mention or allude to political party affiliations and/or previously elected presidents."

Schmoopie: "I will gladly vote for whichever Democratic candidate is nominated."

Right outta the gates.

[SL22]

Cool. Hillary and Obama are basically the same person, platform-wise, IMO. Just with slightly different universal healthcare ideas. Well, I have healthcare, so that's not really a big issue for me.

So, since I don't really like Hillary and don't really mind Obama, I'd go with Obama. Even though this whole "change" and "hope" stuff is some serious empty rhetoric that the masses have taken and decided to run with.

McCain? I used to like him. Then I heard him talk during the Republican primaries. Not a chance. I didn't agree with a single word he said.

Obviously Klompus we both have nothing better to do today than play around with this damn thing. I decided to pull my last half-pound beef grande post because this one will most certainly fill up the leech fields by lunch time.

Kruger has officially surpassed Vandelay

He always does.

An overview:

Obama is my candidate because he's the one that the can get the ear of the Foreign leaders whose cooperation we need to get out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Obama has shown he can cross party lines more effectively than the other two. Obama has better ideas on energy policy and is not as endowed to special interests as the other two. Obama has a different approach to politics than the other two. This approach is marked by independence from the status quo and represents a real break from the same styles and strategies the other two can not escape from.

[Mr. Kruger]

that was me again fuck

[Jack Klompus]

"So, since I don't really like Hillary"

and

"Then I heard him talk during the Republican primaries."

Amazing.

[SL22]

Klompus, the "Republican Primaries" was a noun, not a party thing. What did you want me to call them? "Those things where all those white guys sat around and talked about the issues"?

The Hillary thing, fine. But what if that's the reason I'd vote for Obama? I mean, my original choice was Edwards.

[SL22]

First, you only named two strikes and called the second one strike three.

Secondly, I'm not a huge Obama fan. I just like him more than everybody else. Is that better?

[soupnazi]

wow--my point exactly, that nobody votes with knowledge anymore, just reacting to some stupid sales pitch--excellent question, and due to the complete lack of substance with the 3 current choices, I will once again cast my vote for the late, great Pat Paulson!!

[Jack Klompus]

"Klompus, the "Republican Primaries" was a noun, not a party thing. What did you want me to call them?"

Why even mention them? Or more importantly, who you don't like. Wasn't that clear in the original post?

"First, you only named two strikes and called the second one strike three."

I never named a strike one or two. Strike three was automatic.

[Assman]

wow--my point exactly, that nobody votes with knowledge anymore, just reacting to some stupid sales pitch--excellent question, and due to the complete lack of substance with the 3 current choices, I will once again cast my vote for the late, great Pat Paulson!!

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure I read some informed responses up there. Klompus hasn't called strikes on everything.

It is, however, a somewhat loaded question because, at this point, you have 3 choices and none of them are necessarily your first choice. It's almost inevitable that you will ultimately support one person over the others because of the negatives your other 3 choices offer. It's like asking if you want to eat liver, brussels sprouts or haggis for dinner without saying why you don't like the other 2. If you ask "what person on earth do you want to be prez, out of the population of 6 billion", you'll get an answer with less negatives involved.

For the record, Klompus... who's your horse and why?

[Jack Klompus]

As no surprise, I will vote for McCain. Here's why:

1. Anti-earmarks. Pork-barrel spending is essentially fraud and abuse. He's at least demonstrated action in fighting wasteful spending.

2. Taxes. He's for keeping cap gains, lowering corporate tax rates, and repealing the Alternative Minimum.

3. Pro-free trade. A competitive economy on a global scale is a good thing.

4. Iraq. He knows from personal experience how ugly war is. But also how disasterous a premature withdrawal could be.

[soupnazi]

"Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure I read some informed responses up there. Klompus hasn't called strikes on everything."----true enough, assman, my generalizations are occasionaly wrong, thank God. But I stand by my beliefs, proven over and over again, that the majority of people on this planet are indeed, stupid.

[Jack Klompus]

"It is, however, a somewhat loaded question "

Somewhat loaded? I thought it was completely loaded.

"at this point, you have 3 choices and none of them are necessarily your first choice"

Well by the way you've been gushing over Obama, he sounds like he's your first choice for everything except spouse.

[Mr. Kruger]

I will vote for McCain. Here's why:

Like the retarded gas tax holiday he came up with that will increase demand and send prices through the roof while giving big oil speculators every reason to push prices far beyond what anyone could be expected to pay. Corporations that already get huge tax subsidies and get bailed out by the Fed when their greed-driven practices send them into bankruptcy. Middle class paying for their jobs to be sent overseas.
But oh yeah, if I'm ever able to afford stocks I'll get a tax break- in the meantime my taxes will keep paving the golden road for the rich. Sounds like a great candidate.

[SL22]

Schillary ate up that gas tax idea as well.

[Jack Klompus]

I should have figured Kruger would be the first to start demagoguing other commenters' responses.

"Like the retarded gas tax holiday he came up with."

I never mentioned that because I don't covet nor oppose the idea. It's purely political. Still, it's not nearly defining enough to sway me anyway.

"Middle class paying for their jobs to be sent overseas. "

Nonsense. That has much more to do with global competitiveness.

"But oh yeah, if I'm ever able to afford stocks I'll get a tax break- in the meantime my taxes will keep paving the golden road for the rich"

You can afford to invest. Anyone with a job can if they really want to. But you choose not to, which is your prerogative. Either way, the tax break doesn't affect you. By nature, the biggest tax breaks go to those who put the most into the pot. If spending wan't so out of control, we wouldn't need all these miscellaneous taxes to pay for bullshit, and hence, we wouldn't need to give tax breaks to encourage the wealthy to keep investing in our economy.

By nature, the biggest tax breaks go to those who put the most into the pot.

Corporate welfare, Klompus, accounts for more than 150 billion dollars of the annual federal budget. The only thing they're investing in are douchebags like Senator McCain to make sure that doesn't change. Yea, strike fucking three.

[Mr. Kruger]

timed out again

[KM]

Leveraging Klompus: Voting for McCain..

5. Border security and immigration reform. He's learned from his mistakes about pushing for amnesty. He also agrees that immigrants need to be assimilated (learn to speak English).

6. Veterans health care.

7. Tax Reform. Reducing taxes on employers. As an employer, this one hits home. Requiring a 2/3 vote to raise taxes.

8. Reducing government spending to accompany a tax cut.

[Mr. Kruger]

Leveraging Klompus: Voting for McCain..

It's funny how "government spending" never gets defined.

[phil]

As is tradition, it looks like we've managed to somewhat go off the rails again.

Since I was so loud in the last thread, I have to give it a go.

I will vote for Obama for a variety of reasons, many of which are eloquently cited above. Beyond those, I feel he is the most sensitive to environmental issues, and initiatives in that area. The other part of this issue that doesn't get a lot of press is the opportunity for the US to be a major player in the industry surrounding development of alternative energy sources and efforts to address global warming, etc. There is a lot of talk around employment issues, especially loss of jobs in the Midwest, and this is a chance to address that issue at the same time. Obama is the candidate most likely to be effective here, and least tied to conflicting interests.

I admit, I did have to edit here and there to stick to the rules.

[SL22]

I think Kruger should post under the pseudonym "Whoops, that was Me Again".

[Assman]

Well by the way you've been gushing over Obama, he sounds like he's your first choice for everything except spouse.

My real first choices aren't masochistic enough to run for office. I'd have voted for Jim Webb over Obama and possibly Bloomberg. And if Charles Barkley ever steps up... let's just say I enjoy candor from my leadership.

that the majority of people on this planet are indeed, stupid.

Like James Carville in Old School... I can't debate that.

As no surprise, I will vote for McCain.

Which leaves one question. Do you feel like he'll keep his campaign promises?

[Babu]

I've got a pretty simple explanation of my vote, probably brought on by the beers I have already had (4:50pm MST, leaving my job in a week, so fuck it!)

I'm voting Obama, he seems like the least likely candidate in the race to re-neg on his campaign promises and fuck us in the end.

That being said, anyone who things this gas-tax holiday is a good idea is a dumb-fuck. Ok, so our government saves me $30 over the course of the summer, big freakin' deal, I can afford $30, and if high gas prices convince more americans to depend less on oil, maybe buy a smaller car (toss the H2 and drive the kids to soccer in a camry) than I am totally ok with high oil prices. You really think we will offset it with more taxes on oil companies...did you all see the headline on the NYT the other day which said something like "ExxonMobil disappointed with $13.9b quarter profits", yeah fuckin right they will pick up the tab, more loans from China and dig this country further into a hole. Seriously, when a politician actually comes up with a solution to a problem that doesn't fuck us in the long run to satiate us (and win votes) in the short term, that man (Obama) gets my vote!

Done, and I am out of beer, need to fix that problem!

[Likes to be Informed]

I will have a real comment on this soon, just wanted to clear up... Assman was the one who originally posted the "real issues" comment. I was just replying to it.

[SL22]

If you believe the stereotypes, getting fucked by Obama would hurt the most.

[Likes to be Informed]

1. Anti-earmarks. Pork-barrel spending is essentially fraud and abuse. He's at least demonstrated action in fighting wasteful spending.

2. Taxes. He's for keeping cap gains, lowering corporate tax rates, and repealing the Alternative Minimum.

3. Pro-free trade. A competitive economy on a global scale is a good thing.

4. Iraq. He knows from personal experience how ugly war is. But also how disasterous a premature withdrawal could be.
Qouted From Assman

These are very good points. McCain has shown in the past with his bills that were not popular in his own party (McCain Feingold, McCain Kennedy etc..) that he is up to keeping his campaign promises. Even if it puts him at odds with his "Party". He would not be Kerrys VP due to kerrys beleif in using the Government as a big brother, excessive spending and such. But...as a social conservitive, and a economic Moderate, McCain seems to be best suited for me.

[Bethany]

Obama.

When I think of all that is right about America, I think that Obama is the epitome of the American dream. A mixed-race boy growing up the 60s-70s, poor, to essentially a single mom. Having the love and support of a family that helped him to achieve his full potential, despite the obstacles of poverty, race, etc.

I think it's time that our leaders gave us something to believe in--something that gives our children, all children the hope that they too can succeed.

I'm in an inter-racial marriage, and pregnant with our first child, and I want to believe that our country can be color-blind. I want my baby to know, from day one, that he can be anything in the world he wants to be.

There are policy reasons as well, but the emotional one is the biggest for me.

"4. Iraq. He knows from personal experience how ugly war is. But also how disasterous a premature withdrawal could be."

This is your weakest. He was a fighter pilot in Vietnam. Different country, different time, different rationale, and he wasn't setting policy, he didn't decide to start it or finish it. If he has such relative genius when it comes to running a war, why are we in the mess we are in? He was there when decisions were being made about this Iraq mess.

[Jack Klompus]

@Likes to be informed
"just wanted to clear up... Assman was the one who originally posted the "real issues" comment."

Apologies. Tell Dances with Wolves I saw some tatonka the other day.

"Qouted From Assman"

And while we're at it, that wasn't Assman's quote.

@Bethany
"There are policy reasons as well, but the emotional one is the biggest for me."

While I don't share your view, I respect your thoughtful response.

@Anonymous
"If he has such relative genius when it comes to running a war, why are we in the mess we are in? He was there when decisions were being made about this Iraq mess."

Nobody called him a genius. Yes, he was there when decisions were being made. While he's always been a supporter of the war effort, he has been an outspoken critic of management decisions made during the war (i.e., called for the troop surge long before the troop surge happened). But my point was that his experience is what will help get us OUT of Iraq at the right tempo and the right time.

[phil]

Klompus has an excellent point about getting out of Iraq in a constructive manner. Yeah, we shouldn't be there, but we are. We can't just bolt. It would be highly destabilizing. Going back in time isn't an option.

Hopefully, whomever wins this contest will handle that with extreme care. I am not sure any of them will be able to pull it off. I don't know that there IS a way.

[Jack Klompus]

@Kruger
"Corporate welfare, Klompus, accounts for more than 150 billion dollars of the annual federal budget. The only thing they're investing in are douchebags like Senator McCain to make sure that doesn't change. Yea, strike fucking three."

There's a difference between corporate tax breaks and corporate welfare. Corporate welfare only serves failing (poorly run) businesses -- McCain has stated his opposition to that. Corporate tax rate cuts are designed to help all businesses (especially already successful ones) become more successful, namely to promote employment opportunities and increase competitiveness with companies overseas.

[Jack Klompus]

@Assman
"My real first choices aren't masochistic enough to run for office. I'd have voted for Jim Webb over Obama and possibly Bloomberg. And if Charles Barkley ever steps up... let's just say I enjoy candor from my leadership."

I know. I was just throwing a friendly elbow your way.

[likes to be informed (Mystery Nutjob )]

Apologies to all misqouted...i have a bad habit of looking Up instead of Down for the Posted By.

Mystery Nutjob.

[Lake Rosenberg]

I'm voting for Obama for several reasons: His education plan, especially his plan for teachers. His plan for ethics reform is the best deal out there. It doesn't hurt that he is the best person to improve America's reputation around the globe, including in predominantly Muslim countries. He's for withdrawing from Iraq and recognizes that we can't have a permanent presence in that country.

[Jack Klompus]

"Apologies to all misqouted...i have a bad habit of looking Up instead of Down for the Posted By."

And I think you also owe "quote" an apology for continually misspelling it. Unless "qoute" is like a "sjit"-type spelling. In which case you need to recognize Strangejazz.

[Assman]

But my point was that his experience is what will help get us OUT of Iraq at the right tempo and the right time.

I kinda sorta think we ought to just up and roll out of the fucker. I mean, I know our military is complicated, but if they're going to be a sovereign nation, can't you trust them to start taking care of themselves? They don't need American Daddy to hold their hands forever.

And when they need aid, we do it the way we do every other country. Send them supplies and cash, and organize a coalition w/ their neighbors to help w/ stability.

Caveat: I'm no military general - just a guy that doesn't see how we're still needed.