Rebates!

You know that genius plan that the Bush administration has come up with to stimulate the economy? Well, you're probably not gonna believe this, but early reports indicate that it may not exactly drag our sorry asses out of the abyss the way it's supposed to. According to a recent survey, only 21% of Americans unfortunately intend to actually spend their rebate. Apparently, people have like debt and investment vehicles that they're more interested in right now. Who knew?

He had considered using the money to take his family to Disney World. But "With the uncertainty of the economy," Karas says, "right now, I'm going to forget I got that money and put it in mutual funds."

What. A. Dick.

I realize Hannah's only dream in life is to visit Cinderella's castle but I'm just so uncertain right now. Six year old girls should understand that you have to make sacrifices for Daddy's certainty.

What about the uncertainty of your country, you dick? Those 529 plans are probably what got us into this in the first place!

Personally, just like I did with my initial federal refund, I plan on spending every last penny of those 18 bills on trips to the Big Apple, Disney World, and maybe even a new bathroom. Does that sound rational? Perhaps not, but unlike "Rob", I'm a god-fearing American and it's my duty to stimulate the economy. So in 13 years when my daughter is trying to understand why she has to go to that Community College down the road when Hannah Karas from Haymarket, VA gets to go to Georgetown I'll simply sit her down and calmly explain that YOU GOT TO SEE THE GOD DAMN HOUSE THAT RUTH BUILT WITH SHOES ON WHILE HANNAH PLAYED BAREFOOT SOCCER IN APRIL!!! THAT'S WHY! Oh and we also stimulated the economy.

So AofG'ers, what will you do with your rebate? Will you help the president execute what seemed like a flawless plan or will you be a communist greedy bastard and try to put a dent in those nagging school loans?

Also, this seems like a good time to remind you that you have about 10 hours to file your taxes.

Comments

[Jack Klompus]

If I were getting a rebate, I'd upgrade to the Acela.

And by the way, thanks for trumping my tax post. Attention whore.

[Art Vandelay]

I know. I think when I checked before, your post didn't come up. Weird. Sorry about that.

Why aren't you getting a rebate?

[daveNYC]

I think the cutoff for the rebate was $70k filing single, and $140k if filing joint.

This blog might not have the best demographic for talking about their rebate plans.

[Mr. Kruger]

I can't believe you put that rag on your kid's head- that's just low. The kids going to need at least $600 worth of therapy to regain her self-esteem.

As for the rebate, read Klompus' post because the taxes you pay on everything you buy is going to end up in the pockets of scum holes like Murtha. The best thing you can do for the economy is pay down any debt you have. This idea of a stimulus is a joke- it's like giving candy to a diabetic.

[MaxWebster]

i've been planning on putting mine in a long-term whatever ever since this hair-brained scheme was revealed. fuck W.

i particularly enjoyed the complete waste of paper (and money) the IRS sent everyone in the country about a month ago fellating the Prez by saying (something to the effect of) "this isn't the rebate but you'll be getting one soon - don't we rock? don't forget to spend!!!"

[Babu]

Max, did you notice how the info on the back of that flyer was almost impossible to decipher. I have a Ph.D. and couldn't figure out the matrix they created.

On the other hand, I am poor and am getting my full $600, gonna probably pay off any credit card debt I have (spending like a bandit now, with a new job on the way), which was run up on toys and vacations. So I guess I am stimulating the economy, by buying Chinese made products.

[phil]

Bush hasn't had a "flawless plan" since he bought the Rangers...

I say we all blow it on booze and hookers. The net worth to divorce attorneys will be at least triple or more, and get even more money back into the economy.

[Art Vandelay]

Phil, on paper I like it but won't the divorce attorneys just turn around and spend it in Thailand?

[Assman]

If they expected people to actually spend them on stuff, they'd have mailed out gift cards / Visa debit cards with expiration dates.

Otherwise, that money goes to overdue bills and drug dealers.

But I don't think the intention was to re-inflate the economy as much as it was to buy votes.

[phil]

Excellent points both.

Kind of like McCain's "gas tax holiday". How incredibly transparent.

[Schmoopie]

I'm with Max on being pissed that the government spent OUR MONEY and pulped a bunch of trees to send every goddamned taxpayer that letter reminding them that the rebate was a-comin'.

I'm not sure we're getting much of a rebate here—certainly not the full amount, but maybe some. It's either partially defraying the $4,000 income tax bill we just paid, or going to our friendly neighborhood food pantry. People are broke and hungry and need food from the pantry, but government food donations are down for a variety of systemic reasons—at the worst possible time.

[Art Vandelay]

Well, now I'm the dick.

[Schmoopie]

No, Art. You're not a dick. Your government-encouraged spending plan will help keep the Disney shareholders from suffering too keenly in this reeling economy. You help the rich, I'll help the poor, and together we will save the world. :-)

BTW, I rationalize all sorts of frivolity with "helping the economy." Taking a taxi instead of the bus? Buying $100 sandals I won't need for a couple months (or until next year)? Dropping $3,000 on spring break in Florida? If I can afford it, it's my duty to keep the cabdrivers (gas prices are high, after all), independent shoestores (kickin' it old-school, no department store or chain), and airlines (again with the gas prices) in business. If not me, then who? Art Vandelay, that's who. He will help shoulder the burden.

[Jackie]

Dropping $3,000 on spring break in Florida?

How about at a strip club in Vegas?

[daveNYC]

Dropping $3,000 on spring break in Florida?

I didn't know that roofies had gone up in price that much.

[Art Vandelay]

You help the rich, I'll help the poor, and together we will save the world. :-)

Sounds like a plan. Just don't come crying to me in 15 years when little Benny is spending all his money on rich therapists because mommy never took him to Disney World.