Monday Morning Griever - Fuck Amtrak

Penn Station, Friday, April 4th, 3:30 PM: So I'm travelling with my wife, my 5 year old, and my one year old from NYC to Providence. I politely inform the Amtrak people that I have two children, one in a stroller, 2 suitcases, a computer bag, and a backpack therefore I'm in need of an elevator. They show me where the elevator is and inform me that they'll let me know when to board. 5 minutes later...176 is currently boarding on track 9! Hey, thanks for the advance warning mother fuckers.

Now since Amtrak chooses to let all the people with their one briefcase to board at the same time as my sorry ass and provides them with an escalator directly to the track while we have to take 2 elevators while trying to push a stroller and 4 pieces of luggage, of course by the time we get to the train, the whole thing is full. Now, we're trying to find seats while navigating a stroller, a five year old, and 4 pieces of luggage down a path so narrow that I can't even roll the luggage because the assholes sitting down won't get their feet out of the aisle.

As it turns out, this particular train is missing a car today and therefore is eighty seats short. By the time we can find anywhere to sit, we're in the very last car...the ever so pretentious quiet car. It took 5 cars of lugging this stuff through before two people finally volunteered to move around so that we could sit with our children. Heres the problem though...we now have a 5 year old and a 16 month old in the fucking quiet car! Now, my kids are actually pretty quiet for their ages but no way do they belong in the quiet car. The baby gets tired and starts fussing, the five year old gets cranky and before you know it, we're the assholes who brought a baby and a five year old on your precious little quiet car.

I've never gotten so many dirty looks in my life than I did from the assholes in the quiet car and with each one I came closer to getting out my seat and just kicking the living piss out of the scumbag. Needless to say, it was a little tense on the quiet car.

Here's the ultimate irony though...the fucking cocksuckers that are giving me and my wife and kids their gay little "what kind of asshole takes kids on the quiet car" looks are the same assholes that have no problem taking advantage of a system that provides people with two kids and a bunch of luggage the lowest priority and most inconvenient means of boarding the train. Maybe you ingrates should spend an extra $20 on the Acela next time!

Fuck the heartless bastards who treated us like degenerates.

Fuck the conductor who felt the need to announce the rules for the quiet car every 10 minutes rather than simply say it to my face because he knew I would have knocked him the fuck out.

Fuck Penn Station.

Fuck Amtrak.

Fuck you all to bloody hell!

Comments

[Schmoopie]

Yes, but was the train on time? :-)

[Jackie]

"By the time we can find anywhere to sit, we're in the very last car...the ever so pretentious quiet car."

What's "pretentious" about the quiet car. I probably know what you're gonna say, but I find the quiet car incredibly useful in this day and age. Any thing that allows me to tell john. q. douchebag to shut the fuck up on his cell in a public place is a very good thing to me.

you ingrates should spend an extra $20 on the Acela next time!

Are kids not allowed on Acela?

[Art Vandelay]

What's "pretentious" about the quiet car.

The assholes who sit there.

Are kids not allowed on Acela?

They are but they discourage it by charging adult rates for kids.

[Jack Klompus]

Noise-cancelling headphones. Far more effective than a "quiet car." Even still, those passengers who think they are entitled to peace and silence -- can fuck right off. It's not a private charter. You want the comfort of your living room on the road -- you gotta pay extra. So sit back, order a cocktail, and take two or three hours of my kid kicking the back of your seat like the little bitch you are.

[Crazy Joe Davola]

It appears to me, more of an Amtrak problem, than the people in the quiet car. How is it their fault?

[Art Vandelay]

How is it their fault?

It's not. It sure as hell ain't my fault either. I didn't want to be on the quiet car. If they're getting their panties in a bunch over my daughters fussing or whining or playing with the chair tray they shouldn't be directing their ire towards me or my family.

[Crazy Joe Davola]

Isn't that like saying "The smoking car was full, so I'm going to smoke in here" and not expecting someone to complain?

[Art Vandelay]

Isn't that like saying "The smoking car was full, so I'm going to smoke in here" and not expecting someone to complain?

Only if you don't see a difference between simply chosing not to have a cigarette and duct-taping a 16 month old girl's mouth shut.

[Jack Klompus]

"How is it their fault?"

They chose Amtrak. And because they decided to watch Dancing with Stars instead of finishing that PowerPoint presentation.

[daveNYC]

And because they decided to watch Dancing with Stars instead of finishing that PowerPoint presentation.

Or maybe nobody likes fussy 16 month olds, regardless the state of completion of any Microsoft documents they might have.

I'll agree that Penn Station is a complete and utter shithole. The whole boarding setup is bullshit. I guess next time send the wife and youngest ahead to stake out a space, while you work on slipping a disk trying to lumber all the luggage down the steps.

[Jack Klompus]

"Or maybe nobody likes fussy 16 month olds, regardless the state of completion of any Microsoft documents they might have."

Well that's when they need to be reminded they themselves were all fussy 16 month olds at one point. And now they've become fussy adults, so they need to lighten the fuck up.

[daveNYC]

Yeah, because it's their own damn fault that they wanted to sit in the quiet car. The fact that someone brought two not so quiet children into it (due to reasons that were outside his control) has nothing to do with it.

The other passengers have a right to be pissed that the quiet car wasn't and Art has a right to be pissed that the Amtrak chucklewits and Penn's crap design left him with no choice but to end up in the quiet car. But to say that the other passengers were assholes for being unhappy about the situation is fucking retarded. What were they supposed to do, read his mind and realize that his situation isn't that much better than their's is?

[Art Vandelay]

What were they supposed to do, read his mind and realize that his situation isn't that much better than their's is?

It's really common sense. They saw that we were the last one's on the train. They knew the train was packed. They knew the train was 80 seats short. All you have to is put 2 and 2 together to know that I didn't take kids on the quiet car just to piss off the people in the quiet car. Even if they're too retarded to figure that out, giving a 5 year old girl death stares is just poor form.

In short, they're either assholes or they're retarded. Take your pick.

[Art Vandelay]

For the record, this is the letter that my wife wrote them. I could never do this without the f-bombs...

Amtrak

To Whom It May Concern:

My husband and I and our two children (5 and 16 months old) took a trip from New York City to Providence, Rhode Island on Friday, April 4, 2008. Our family had really been looking forward to this trip, especially my 5 year old as she had never been on a train before.

Upon arriving at Penn Station, we checked the large board in the center of the station and saw that no track had been assigned to our train(#176) yet. My husband asked an Amtrak employee if it was possible for us to find out the track number prior to it being posted on the large board because we were traveling with two small children, one in a stroller, and three pieces of luggage. The Amtrak employee was very polite and told us that he would let us know what track we were leaving from so that we could make our descent via elevator with our children and luggage.

Unfortunately, the Amtrak employee was never seen again so we were forced to attempt to navigate 2 small children (one in a stroller) and 3 pieces of luggage through the train station while trying to locate an elevator to get to the train on time. We did find finally locate an elevator and then to our horror found out that we had to take yet another elevator to get to our train. As you can imagine, we arrived at the train harried and not with a second to spare. We boarded the train and walked through 5 cars until we arrived at the last car which unfortunately was the Quiet Car. This car is the only car on the train that had any seats available, none of which were together. Fellow passengers took pity on us and agreed to move so that we could sit with our small children. When I purchased these tickets, the Amtrak agent told me that Amtrak trains have special seating for parties of 3 or more and that it would be great for a family such as ours.

The passengers that elected to sit in the Quiet Car were expecting to sit in silence as they rode the train. It is impossible to keep a 5 year old and especially a16 month old SILENT during a 4 hour train ride. As a result, we received reprimands from the conductor and received unpleasant stares and looks of disgust from our fellow passengers. This made for the truly worst and most tense traveling experience possible. It was announced that the train was missing a car and as a result was short 80 seats.

When planning this trip I had wonderful expectations of what traveling by train would be like and that hopefully it would be an experience that my 5 year old would always remember. Unfortunately, she will for all of the wrong reasons because her parents had to scold and beg her to be SILENT for 4 hours.

This was by far the worst traveling experience I have ever had.

[daveNYC]

Even if they're too retarded to figure that out, giving a 5 year old girl death stares is just poor form.

True. I skip the death stare and go straight to punching them in the head when their parents aren't looking.

[Assman]

I'd feel sorry for the parents in that situation.

But then again, maybe that's just because I think it sucks more to be the guy trying to keep a 16 month old quiet for 4 hours than it does to be the guy trying to finish his work in silence.

[jackie]

Even if they're too retarded to figure that out, giving a 5 year old girl death stares is just poor form.

What did you do about it?

[Jack Klompus]

"When planning this trip I had wonderful expectations of what traveling by train would be like and that hopefully it would be an experience that my 5 year old would always remember."

Vandelay, with all due respect, I can only imagine the tears of laughter that will ensue once this passage is read at Amtrak. I mean it is 2008, right? And I assume you did tell her it wasn't the Orient Express? Were there no stagecoaches available?

[Art Vandelay]

Yeah, that was a little hyperbole thrown in for effect, I think.

[Tone Capone]

While I do feel the situation in this passage is unfortunate, I couldn't help but think how this is such a perfect example of the blame someone else, me first mentality of Americans.

Quote:
They show me where the elevator is and inform me that they'll let me know when to board. 5 minutes later...176 is currently boarding on track 9! Hey, thanks for the advance warning mother fuckers.

But they did let you know when they were boarding, it was announced overhead. You may be shocked to hear this, but you weren't the only person or family on that train. Did you expect a employee to specifically seek you out and tell you when they were boarding? Why did you have to wait for an announcement to get in line?

Secondly, you mention you felt like you were treated with the lowest priority. From what I read you were treated with equal priority. Because you didn't receive special treatment you feel you were treated abnormally, which seemingly you weren't.

Lastly, knowing the situation with your family and your excessive luggage, didn't you feel it would be better to get there early and prepare other than expect Amtrak to skip you to the front of the line, aggravating other passengers, because you thought you were special because of lack of preparation? What were you doing for the 5 minutes between being pointed to the elevator and the train being boarded?

While it would have been nice if Amtrak and its employees had better arranged for such circumstances to meet the needs of all of its passengers, ultimately you can't expect others to always be there to help you out and you have to realize that you are the same as any other passenger.

[Ryan N.]

Amtrak has quiet cars for a reason. You do not go sit in the quiet car if you have noisy kids, period. You can find a conductor and say "listen, I can't go sit in the quiet car with these kids, can you do anything?" and if they don't, your problem is with that person. They could have walked to an adjacent car and asked "is anyone willing to sit in the quiet car?"

I'm not pretentious for not wanting noise for a 3-5 hour trip, or wanting to avoid people with cell phones. True, maybe your kid would not have bothered me... but maybe she would have. It really doesn't matter -- I want to sit in a quiet car, they provide one, if you make noise in it, you are the jerk, not me.

Your situation is unfortunate -- don't take it out on me.

[Joey]

Hey you want to travel with a family of four without the pretentious assholes in Amtrak's quiet car? Then all you have to do is head roughly 8 blocks north of Penn Station to Port Authority and take Greyhound instead. Your kids can make all the noise they want on the hound, without the dirty looks. Hey you can even kick somoeone's ass on the hound and nobody cares!

[You're a typical asshole]

Read the back of you're fucking ticket. Or check the Amtrak website on your laptop. Amtrak has the right change consists, lenghten or shorten trains depending on availability etc... Get to the station early. Who cares if Amtrak is always late. That one time you ride, they might be ontime douchebag. That way you're not rushing around and crying like a bitch when no one helps your lazy spoiled ass. When you fly, are you late to the airport too?

[Bryce]

I am typing this from my laptop from somewhere in Central Texas on the most god-awful public transportation experience I've ever had, and I'm a die-hard cheap-ass Greyhound riding loser.

Just wanted to echo your sentiment: Fuck Amtrak. FIVE HOURS LATE. FIVE HOURS. Then the staff are god-awful jerks and USELESS on top of it. Plus, the whole reason I took Amtrak this time - to escape the loonies - is null, as they followed me onto this train!

Fuck Amtrak. Fuck it up its stupid government subsidized asshole. I hope this piece of shit loses funding. No wonder no one rides Amtrak, its hell on a rail.

[jim]

Omigod, that Orient Express comment was so perfectly funny(and so true)I truly appreciate the $1.00 tips in the dining car for a 4 to 5 course meal from the people who expect table side Caesar salads and perfectly cooked prime rib, with negroes to carry their trunks, all at 1932 prices, thanks guys. As an Amtrak employee, I've discovered that misbehaving children are generally tolerated by all, assuming that the parents show some shred of remorse, or at least exhibit a sense of responsibility. Usually a simple apology (to the oblivious passengers)does the trick. The conductor can usu. make an announcement to illicit sympathy (if they didn't that's wrong too). This is where I wonder; was the incessantly bitching father more of a catalyst? Often that's case, and if he was unintentionally taking it out on his wife and kids...that's when you get dirty looks! TRUST ME.. And honey, just be thankful you weren't on greyhound, with no food and a splashing shi* hole for a bathroom. Try again later off season, it can be wonderful, but it's a lost art, and one time is nothing to get that freaked out over...get out more often. Travel ANYWHERE can be a bitch esp. with children, we didn't ask you to have them, and we don't really get why you deserve extra care just because you didn't use birth control. Your choice.

[jim]

to previous guy..How's that greyhound trip going? (try flying and shut up) Another thought....the train trip of dreams (in the movies of the 30's and 40's) was all Upper Class and movie stars going from NY to Hollywood, they paid for those private bedrooms, and you STILL have to pay if you want to have a space of your own, (be warned the the prices have gone up exponentially for 60 years) Meanwhile...everyone else FLIES so get over your nitpicky jewish selves, everyone has the same opportunity to pay for something better, just open your wallet and discover comfort. And sometimes just shut up and quit whining, AND QUIT RAISING YOUR KIDS TO BE ANNOYING FUCKS WHO ARE BITCHY TO HARD WORKING SERVICE PEOPLE, just because you're an asshole doesn't entitle you. Take the kids to El Salvador for a family trip and see how that goes when they scream for macaroni and cheeeeese to the locals). Good luck with the rest of your lives.