It's been like 5 days now that you've had to come to this blog and look at the sex-machine that is Mike Tomlin and while the hits just keep coming, we're not about selling out like that so The T-Man is getting the bump today for some random nonsense.
- God is gonna need a bigger boat.
- Novelist Doris Lessing who recently became the oldest woman to win the Nobel Prize* has an interesting theory as to why Hillary is a better presidential candidate than Obama. She has less of a chance of being assasinated.
"He would probably not last long, a black man in the position of president. They would kill him," Lessing said on Saturday.
It's real easy to pass that off as some crazy old lady not giving a fuck what she says but I have to admit, the thought crosses my mind all the time. I find it hard to believe we could go a whole 4 years without at least an attempt.
- It doesn't suck to be wrongfully accused and convicted of being a child molester in Wisconsin. After spending 8 months in prison, they'll gladly compensate you with a whopping $5,000.
- Finally, a quick grievance. What's up with people that can't pronounce long last names? This may be one of the most absurd phenomena that I've ever witnessed. Should it really be that difficult to say Houshmandzadeh? It's just four syllables pieced together. HOOSH-MAND-ZOD-UH. These people are like "Hoosh-mand-zod-whaaaaaat?" Uh! What the fuck! How is that so hard? Did it take you so long to pronounce those first three syllables that you actually forgot what the fourth one was? I mean, I can understand mispronouncing a word that you're reading but upon hearing a string of 4 syllables, how the fuck can you not remember all of them. If I asked one of these people to say "I ran outside." They would all respond with "I ran outside." Now, if I told them someone's name was Jack Iranoutside, they really couldn't repeat that? "Jack Iran-HUH?" That's retarded, right?
*I may have made that up.
Five large in exchange for eight months? Seems fair to me. Besides, five grand'll buy a lot of Old Style. I think that since he is from Wisconsin, he should run out and celebrate by sexing up a corpse.
Do you agree Vandelay?
Posted by: Dr. Tim Whatley | February 11, 2008 at 02:10 PM
That's right. At least he wouldn't be wrongly accused of committing a crime. He should just make sure the corpse is 18.
Seriously, prison can't be a fun place for a child molester. I don't think one day would be worth 5 G-notes.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | February 11, 2008 at 02:27 PM
Good point on the child molester take. However, I might find prison better than living in an ice shanty, or wherever people in Wisconsin live in February. Especially with $5,000 in my pocket.
Then again, maybe not.
Posted by: Dr. Tim Whatley | February 11, 2008 at 02:39 PM
Don't lie, I've seen the commercial. Its TJ Housyermamma.
Posted by: Toku | February 11, 2008 at 06:34 PM
"In October, she told a Spanish newspaper that the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks were "neither as terrible nor as extraordinary" as many people think. "
How did I miss that in the news? I wouldn't expect to see her at any book signings in New York unless she was looking forward to being tossed off the roof of the UN. 88 year old douchebag.
"Should it really be that difficult to say Houshmandzadeh?"
Yes, if you want to pronounce it correctly. If you want to butcher it, well hell, you could say House-man-zay-der. Anything would work.
Posted by: Eli | February 11, 2008 at 09:35 PM
Just so we're clear, it ain't me getting the bump. I am way sexier than Coach T. At least that's what Coach Cower keeps telling me.
Posted by: TMan | February 12, 2008 at 02:27 PM