Here's some news that could only have come from my alma mater. Other universities conduct studies on how to eliminate cancer in rats or how to isolate the genes that determine whether or not someone is lazy. My school?
They're working on a pill that makes chicks want to bone more.
Using my experience from having spent four years there, I can only imagine this is the sort of discussion going on in the laboratory:
Carter: "Dude, this is totally gonna get me some Tri-Delt poon."
Trey: "Yeah, brah. Rape is totally illegal now, and my dad says he's not going to get his lawyers to get my cases dropped anymore, so I've got to be on my shit. Are you sure this is gonna work, fag?"
Carter: "Dude."
Trey: "Brah."
Carter: "Dude."
Trey: "Brah."
Carter: "Dude, this is totally gonna get me some Tri-Delt poon."
Which isn't to say that decreased libido in women isn't a serious problem deserving of medical attention. I'm sure that this will make a difference in the lives of women who have had ovariectomies all over the place. Kudos. Welcome back to Sex Town, ladies. Get 'em out.
But I'm thinking this is probably going to be used for more recreational / "slipped to my girlfriend secretly for a month in her tea" purposes than anyone is willing to admit. If there's a way to buy stock in this thing once some pharmaceutical company gets their hooks in it, please... let's all get rich together. (And laid, apparently.)
Shmirginia...VIRGINIA!!! Damn!!!
Quote the Assman...
But, in this case, I'd have to invoke the old axiom:
"If it's designed to get you laid, don't complain about it."
Posted by: Art Vandelay | January 03, 2008 at 01:25 PM
I've already have a testosterone-laden gel that makes girls want to bone more--its called Milodonurface (TM)
Posted by: Crazy Joe Davola | January 03, 2008 at 01:38 PM
Quote the Assman...
Let the record state... I'm not complaining. I'm just saying this is happening and feel free to act accordingly.
Posted by: Assman | January 03, 2008 at 01:58 PM
"It will be prescribed at UVa in coming months to women who are suffering from hypoactive sexual desire disorder."
That's an actual disorder? I thought it was just called "marriage."
Two things about this raise some red flags:
1.) Testosterone-laden. What are the side-effects? I'm guessing it's not your average drowsiness, naseua, blurred vision.
2.) She may want to bone more, but not necessarily with you, or you only. Be careful what you wish for. On an aside, I see this being heavily endorsed by pimps.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | January 03, 2008 at 02:27 PM
That's an actual disorder? I thought it was just called "marriage."
Seriously? Huh, and here I thought that was a bad joke they used as the premise for every stupid assed sitcom on TV, with the exception of Married with Children.
Posted by: Itchy | January 03, 2008 at 02:52 PM
"Huh, and here I thought that was a bad joke they used as the premise for every stupid assed sitcom on TV, with the exception of Married with Children."
Oh it's no joke. It's very real. Give her a ring and the candy shop hours are suddenly few and far. Some people may try to tell you differently, but they're either lying or having affairs.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | January 03, 2008 at 03:11 PM
Some people may try to tell you differently, but they're either lying or having affairs.
Interesting. So...I'm either a liar or I had affairs for 12+ years. Good to know.
Posted by: Itchy | January 03, 2008 at 03:17 PM
"It's not fair that women have no drugs, while men have many."
How many drugs do you need to lie on your back and spread your legs... and what the hell is alcohol for anyway!
Posted by: Eli | January 03, 2008 at 03:25 PM
Seriously? Huh, and here I thought that was a bad joke they used as the premise for every stupid assed sitcom on TV, with the exception of Married with Children.
I'm pretty sure it's not the case in all situations, but the majority of married people I know pretty much never get laid. And at the very least, oral sex goes right out of the window.
And the ones I know that have kids are pretty much always on the brink of divorce because they never get to be alone, have sex or relate to each other anymore.
Yes, I do know some folks that screw plenty, but I know more that just don't.
How many drugs do you need to lie on your back and spread your legs... and what the hell is alcohol for anyway!
One of the truest statements ever written on this blog. If you have a few drinks and can't talk yourself into fucking the dude, maybe a pill would just mask the issue.
Posted by: Assman | January 03, 2008 at 03:41 PM
I have a friend who worked at a company where they made a similar drug which is awaiting approval. I have no idea what the actual name of the product was. I just remember that they always referred to it as "The Lady Drug."
But I'm thinking this is probably going to be used for more recreational / "slipped to my girlfriend secretly for a month in her tea" purposes than anyone is willing to admit.
It may make her want to have sex more, but dropping it into her tea is no guarantee that it's with you.
If there's a way to buy stock in this thing once some pharmaceutical company gets their hooks in it, please... let's all get rich together.
From the article: "blah, blah, Illinois-based BioSante Pharmaceuticals Inc. blah, blah" There you go. Buy some stock.
Other things from the article:
"A drug that could do for women what Viagra has done for men is being tested at the University of Virginia."
I find this annoying. The guys taking Viagra do want to have sex, they just couldn't. This is for women who don't feel like it, but would like to feel like it more often. These women are capable, but lack desire due to medical issues. Very different problems needing very different solutions from a scientific standpoint. That's like saying that your blood pressure medicine is the same as your cholesterol reducing medicine, since they both have to do with your cardiovascular system.
"It will be prescribed . . . to women who are suffering from hypoactive sexual desire disorder. The condition is believed to affect one-third of American women."
Or if you ask men, about 3/4ths of American women.
"Those women must have had both ovaries surgically removed, be currently taking an estrogen supplement and be distressed about their lack of libido. Ovariectomies, or surgical menopause, can lead to a drop in sexual interest because ovaries produce roughly half of the testosterone in a woman's body."
Well, there goes your spiked tea idea.
That's an actual disorder? I thought it was just called "marriage."
Seriously? Huh, and here I thought that was a bad joke they used as the premise for every stupid assed sitcom on TV, with the exception of Married with Children.
Well, I guess we know who won't be trying to get involved in the study.
Other universities conduct studies on how to eliminate cancer in rats or how to isolate the genes that determine whether or not someone is lazy. My school?
They're working on a pill that makes chicks want to bone more.
Meanwhile, I work for a company that makes a product to keep your dog from getting fat, so there could be more asinine things for them to test at your university.
Posted by: Craig | January 03, 2008 at 03:42 PM
"Interesting. So...I'm either a liar or I had affairs for 12+ years. Good to know."
Yes, I was making a generalization. Thought that was understood. But thanks for stepping up and congratulating yourself on such a unique and special marriage you have. Good to know.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | January 03, 2008 at 03:54 PM
Well, I guess we know who won't be trying to get involved in the study.
Clearly not, since I'm getting a divorce. Clears up that whole medical issue called marriage.
Yes, I do know some folks that screw plenty, but I know more that just don't.
I must just know a whole lot of liars then.
Posted by: Itchy | January 03, 2008 at 03:56 PM
Yes, I was making a generalization. Thought that was understood.
Clearly it was...
But thanks for stepping up and congratulating yourself on such a unique and special marriage you have. Good to know.
Did I congratulate myself? Hmm. I thought I was saying that generalizations are silly.
Posted by: Itchy | January 03, 2008 at 04:16 PM
Generalizations are not necessarily silly if applied to, like, the general population.
Posted by: SL22 | January 03, 2008 at 04:41 PM
You shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but i sure do when I go to a bookstore.
Posted by: Crazy Joe Davola | January 03, 2008 at 05:09 PM
How much money went into this "research" on the new magic pill? And I agree with Craig, just because it will increase libido, won't magically make the sex any better.
But really -- wasn't this "pill" already available in elixir form called tequila?
Posted by: Kristal K | January 03, 2008 at 09:53 PM
Seems pretty hard to force tequila down someone's throat.
Posted by: SL22 | January 03, 2008 at 11:40 PM
You shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but i sure do when I go to a bookstore.
I guess with all the anti-generalization conversations I've seen here in regards to race, sexual orientation, dog breed, religious beliefs, etc. I thought pointing out this generalization to be silly would fit right in with that. Now I see I was wrong.
Posted by: Itchy | January 04, 2008 at 08:03 AM
What if you don't deliver the gel orally? It might open up all new avenues of pleasure.
Posted by: Crazy Joe Davola | January 04, 2008 at 09:18 AM
Seems pretty hard to force tequila down someone's throat.
SL -- just realized that I missed the entire point of this pill -- it's not for your run-of-the-mill shot slinging slut -- it's to medically "convince" the librarian to get in touch with her inner freak.
That said, never underestimate the effects of Patron on a frigid & repressed ice queen.
Posted by: Kristal K | January 04, 2008 at 10:09 AM
Whatever happened to good old Ether rags?
Posted by: Dr. Tim Whatley | January 04, 2008 at 05:12 PM