The Bible: Making Crazies Self-Mutilate for 2000 Years
The year 34 A.D. in a cave just outside of Nazareth...
Luke: Yo Matty...I was just going through some of your notes here and the thing is, they're gonna promote the living hell out of this puppy and we could be looking at some major circulation. Don't you think there's a chance this could get in the hands of some people that will take this shit just way too literally?
Matthew: I'm not sure what you mean.
Luke: Well, the self-inflicted amputation stuff for starters.
Matthew: Hey, here's a crazy idea...you worry about your book and I'll worry about mine. Word?
Luke: I'm just sa-
Matthew: Dude!
And...scene. I believe the part about the microwave was taken directly from Deuteronomy.
"The year 2034 A.D. in a cave just outside of Nazareth.."
So none of this has actually happened yet.
"It was not immediately clear whether the man has a history of mental illness."
Yea, he was probably your typical Joe before the beast got to him.
"the wine of God's fury."
OK, this is really good example of "irony" (take note Vandelay)
"Wolfinger said he didn't know which hand was amputated."
Of course, he's a finger wolf- how can you expect him to pass up on an opportunity like that.
Posted by: Eli | January 10, 2008 at 03:24 PM
So none of this has actually happened yet.
Yup, I'm an idiot. Fixed. Thanks.
More like an oxymoron...no?
Posted by: Art Vandelay | January 10, 2008 at 03:33 PM
Too bad they caught him. He could have taken his microwave down to Cackalacky and charged admission for a look inside. As you may (or may not) remember, there's an entertainment market in the Carolinas for amputated limbs inside cooking devices.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | January 10, 2008 at 03:36 PM
"More like an oxymoron...no?"
no... (sigh)
"there's an entertainment market in the Carolinas for amputated limbs inside cooking devices."
Well, a hand doesn't qualify as an actual limb- but it does have the mark of the beast on it which means he should be able to charge just as much... maybe more for cyclists.
Posted by: Eli | January 10, 2008 at 04:03 PM
Sounds like he was out at a party, drank a bit too much of God's Fury, scribbled some woman's phone number down on his hand, woke up, forgot about it and immediately regretted three of the digits.
Posted by: Assman | January 10, 2008 at 05:45 PM