Redefining the Hate Crime 101
So you may have heard about the gothic dude who likes to walk his girlfriend around on a leash. Apparently they were denied entry onto a bus because the bus driver decided that "We don't let freaks and dogs like you on." The money quote...
"It is definitely discrimination, almost like a hate crime," 19-year-old Miss Maltby said yesterday.
All sorts of issues here. Yeah, it's technically discrimination. "Hate crime" seems just a tad extreme. Hard to shed a tear for attention whores who got their attention. I'm not really overly concerned with any of them though because I have something else to obsess over.
Being a father of two girls, I now have to make sure that their lives don't become a series of events leading up to a day where they are allowing Trent Reznor to walk them around in public on a leash. I would hope that this nut-job has serious daddy issues and I'd love to meet the guy so I have a guide on how not to act for the rest of my life. What if he's a perfectly stable and loving parent though? Then what do you do?
Ultimately, here's my question for the AofG faithful: Is it possible to simply do everything right as a parent and still produce a daughter that likes being walked around on a leash? Because that just doesn't seem fair.
Chiles...come on, now.
Nice body on the pet. I'd like her "under my thumb."
Posted by: Crazy Joe Davola | January 23, 2008 at 10:58 AM
Maybe this is completely telling, but after seeing the picture and reading the first paragraph of this post, my exact thoughts were:
Being a father of two girls, I now have to make sure that their lives don't become a series of events leading up to a day where they are allowing Trent Reznor to walk them around in public on a leash.
And not just the parts about the 2 girls and the hoping they don't end up on a leash, but also noting the freakish resemblance to Trent Reznor.
On point one, yes, it's discrimination, but it's also worth nothing that being a stereotypically goth douchelet is a choice, and I'm only going to cry so much over oppression that one intentionally opts into.
On point two, yes, I certainly hope it's her daddy's fault that she acts this way. And I already know that this father and I have absolutely nothing in common because, if that was my daughter, Mr. Reznor would have been Jabba-choked with that leash years ago.
Posted by: Assman | January 23, 2008 at 11:08 AM
On point one, yes, it's discrimination, but it's also worth nothing that being a stereotypically goth douchelet is a choice, and I'm only going to cry so much over oppression that one intentionally opts into.
Spot on, Assman.
Mr. Reznor would have been Jabba-choked with that leash years ago.
Yeah but who is to say that attitude didn't lead to this? What if the guy was abrasive and over-critical of every boy she ever dated so she decided one day that the ultimate form of rebellion would be to date a guy who thinks she's a dog?
Posted by: Art Vandelay | January 23, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Yeah but who is to say that attitude didn't lead to this? What if the guy was abrasive and over-critical of every boy she ever dated so she decided one day that the ultimate form of rebellion would be to date a guy who thinks she's a dog?
While I see your point, it's really kind of a non-issue if the dude ends up dead for having some guy's daughter on leash.
Posted by: Craig | January 23, 2008 at 12:16 PM
What if the guy was abrasive and over-critical of every boy she ever dated so she decided one day that the ultimate form of rebellion would be to date a guy who thinks she's a dog?
Entirely possible. But, that guy's face and neck don't have any scars on them. I'm guessing he's been spared the papa beatdown.
Posted by: Assman | January 23, 2008 at 12:17 PM
"Is it possible to simply do everything right as a parent and still produce a daughter that likes being walked around on a leash?"
Well, you also have to put it in perspective. With all the things that kids end up getting into this is probably not even close to the worse. From her remarks in the article it sounds like she's just making a dumb-ass statement against social norms. I doubt this will go on for any longer than a few weeks. The papers win on this one. Easy trash to throw at an idiotic public.
And besides, anyone who listens to Howard Stern, or watches American Idol, WWE, or NASCAR :) around their kids shouldn't be wondering if they'll turn out right- they won't.
Posted by: Eli | January 23, 2008 at 12:39 PM
What if they have a verbal agreement that next month she will walk him around on a leash? Love is a two way street.
Posted by: Crazy Joe Davola | January 23, 2008 at 12:43 PM
I'm going to have to go with no on discrimination. I have no basis other than legally recognized discrimination is generally based upon immutable characteristics: gender, age, ethnicity, sexaul orientation (okay in MA), physical handicap, etc. Religion is in there too, but I'm going past that. These two halfwits choose to make spectacles of themselves. That hardly makes them part of a protected class. And clearly not a hate crime.
But to answer the question asked, I'll leave you with this one. A women I work with told me this story. Her best friend is an accomplished professional and a working mom. Both she and her husband are by all accounts loving, involved and good parents who live in an affluant town with a highly regarded public school system. Their 12 year old daughter came home from school recently quite depressed. After a few days of questioning and coaxing, they got her to admit the reason that she was depressed: her girlfriends had peer-pressured her in to having sex with not one, not two but three different boys at school. The boys didn't force her, but her friends basically said that if she didn't do it, she would be socially ostracized for the rest of her high school career. So, she did it and shockingly, was ashamed. Suddenly, the leash thing doesn't seem so bad, eh?
Posted by: TMan | January 23, 2008 at 12:48 PM
But to answer the question asked, I'll leave you with this one... Suddenly, the leash thing doesn't seem so bad, eh?
I just vomited all over myself.
Posted by: Assman | January 23, 2008 at 12:51 PM
I think it's easy to blame daddies for daughters who turn out "different" (understatement of the year). I don't know if not getting daddy's love is always the case. It takes a village?
But I totally agree with the fact that these 2 are attention seekers, got the attention they were looking for and didn't like the results. These two make Morticia and Gomez Addams look like Mike and Carol Brady. I don't think I'd like to share a bus with them either.
Posted by: Randi | January 23, 2008 at 01:08 PM
But to answer the question asked, I'll leave you with this one.
I'd end up in a prison cell or one of those big white rooms with no windows.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | January 23, 2008 at 01:08 PM
Busses are reserved for those dressed as Santa and eating smoked salmon smuggled in their beard.
Posted by: Crazy Joe Davolo | January 23, 2008 at 01:19 PM
Nice body on the pet.
By the way, I'm glad Crazy Joe said this. Otherwise, it would have just been the elephant in the room.
Posted by: Assman | January 23, 2008 at 01:30 PM
Nice body on the pet.
Um. Anyone here familiar with the term "butterface"?
Posted by: rbeshenk | January 23, 2008 at 01:37 PM
What's wrong with WWE?
I would too, Vandelay. I would too.
Posted by: jackie | January 23, 2008 at 01:39 PM
"I just vomited all over myself."
"I'd end up in a prison cell or one of those big white rooms with no windows. "
Yeah, when I heard that one I actually thought about giving myself a vasectomy at my desk with a letter opener and a staple remover, just so I would never know how those parents felt.
Posted by: TMan | January 23, 2008 at 01:43 PM
By the way, I'm glad Crazy Joe said this. Otherwise, it would have just been the elephant in the room.
I don't need props or anything but I very subtly mentioned it at the end of the post. How long do you have to be here until you start picking up on the inside jokes?
Posted by: Art Vandelay | January 23, 2008 at 01:57 PM
If you start paying me $8 an hour, I'll probably pick up on the inside jokes faster. Its a question of motivation right now.
Posted by: Crazy Joe Davola | January 23, 2008 at 02:06 PM
I don't need props or anything but I very subtly mentioned it at the end of the post. How long do you have to be here until you start picking up on the inside jokes?
I picked up on that, but Joe mentioned the body specifically. Anything from the neck up, and that includes her brain, deserves no accolade.
Posted by: Assman | January 23, 2008 at 02:08 PM
Assman is being unfair. It's not as if she chose to be a goth on a leash. She was born that way.
Posted by: Schmoopie | January 23, 2008 at 02:20 PM
When exactly did bus drivers start thinking that they should be able to pick and choose who rides their bus? There's probably some solid guidelines for when they can refuse service, and being a loser isn't one of them. I mean it's a bus, you kick off all the losers it's going to be a pretty lonely ride.
If the bus driver doesn't want to do his job, give it to someone else.
Posted by: daveNYC | January 23, 2008 at 07:34 PM
"Is it possible to simply do everything right as a parent and still produce a daughter that likes being walked around on a leash? Because that just doesn't seem fair."
ok, i am not a parent, so i have zero experience. but that does not stop me from having an opinion.
i think it is possible to do everything right as a parent, and still have a horrific outcome. because i see parents in a war; a war over your children's values and senses of self. a war against the advertising/marketing/consumerism complex, against the weapons of mass destruction of tv, music, facebook/myspace/reality shows/britney/paris/ et al, but most destructively a society full of dumb-ass kids who are peers of your kids, whose buy buy buy values are just further reflected, reinforced by constant bombardment of advertising.
you see where i'm going.
my single best piece of evidence--the epidemic of eating disorders amongst young girls and women (and increasingly, boys and young men). this wasn't caused by a germ, a gene, or even by a change in overall diet by society. this was undeniably changed by the images in advertising and subsequently in all forms of mass media which dictated expectations of what girls are supposed to look like. period.
oh, one more piece of evidence--cigarette ads were banned from tv in the 60s. cigarette smoking by youngsters fell precipitously. cigarette marketers got real aggressive advertising in other media (mostly magazines). as dollar amounts spent on ads increased, youth smoking ramped as well.
the power, reach and ubiquity of mass media/advertising has grown exponentially in my short life. as have the predictable adverse effects (they were predicted in the 60s and 70s, and they have come to pass).
when my parents taught me it doesn't matter what other people think of you, and that tv lies, it was a lot easier to believe. today, parents are way outgunned. it is depressing, and i don't know what the hell i would do. but good luck.
Posted by: howard in nyc | January 27, 2008 at 01:05 PM
it is depressing, and i don't know what the hell i would do. but good luck.
Ummm...thanks?
Posted by: Art Vandelay | January 28, 2008 at 09:19 AM