The Zman is Pissed!

I got lot of problems with you people!

First, let me direct my ire towards those employees of mine who have had a computer on their desk for well over ten years, and yet everyday approach it like it’s some new and wondrous creation. As if it magnificently appeared there just this very morning, moments before they arrived at their desk.

I was recently regaled the tale of a man who had problems getting a video onto his daughters MP3 player. He told me he’d e-mail me the file. I received a Youtube link. He actually tried to copy a youtube link onto an MP3 player.

Read messages when they appear?? Ho Ho, surely you jest. How often have I heard this one…
Employee: Some weird error message appeared, and then the program locked up.
Me: OK, do you remember anything about the message?
Employee: I didn’t read it; I just clicked ‘OK’.
Ah yes, let me lay hands on the computer, perhaps I’ll sense what’s going on.

Grasp the concept of a network? Nah, let’s e-mail video files back and forth. Sure, you sit right behind me, but I need to route this thing through Cali-fuckin-fornia just to make sure it gets to you.

Now, it’s time to spew some venom on my fellow drivers.

Is it that hard, really, to turn your wheel all the way?? I know it takes actual expenditure of energy, but if you try real hard, you just might be able make your Prius go into the right lane on a right turn.

Signals. Can you fucking people use signals? Seriously, halfway across the lane marker is TOO LATE. I’m well aware by that point of what your intentions are.

If you find yourself coming to a near stop before you turn onto a parking lot apron, just go home. In your panic not to spin hopelessly out of control, you’re slowing the rest of us down.

A special shout out to the moprons I encounter nearly every morning: I HAVE A STOP SIGN, YOU DON’T!!! Seriously, stop fucking waving me on, and just go. Why the fuck are you stopping in the first place? Fancy a chat?

Finally, here’s a little something for all the fat fucks tooling themselves around in rented scooters at Walt Disney World…Just because your scooter gets you in the handicapped line, that doesn’t entitle you to jump right to the front. Allow a truly handicapped person? Yeah, sure buddy, I’ll let you pass. Some overweight corn dog eating lard ass? Fuck you, wait like the rest of us. Saw this going on the entire week I was there, and boy was I pissed.

Comments

[Itchy]

Not too long ago I was asked if I had "any of those round disks that you save stuff on. Not one those um...square ones..you know...a...um....uh...floppy. But, like a round one."

Wish I was making it up.

[Assman]

OH!! People who don't read the error message!!! OHHH!!!!

[jackie]

"Grasp the concept of a network? Nah, let’s e-mail video files back and forth."

Well, color me idiot. I do this all fucking day.