Nice to see the 'ol Christmas spirit is alive -- at the Starbucks drive-thru. And while no good deed goes unpunished, it's clear that some good deeds deserve punishment (and this couldn't wait until Festivus). What a contrived pile of shit this is. People willing to pay $5 for a designer cup of coffee are willing to buy $5 cups of designer coffee for other people also willing to pay $5 for designer cups of coffee. Wow, the world's just changing for the better right in front of our eyes. It looks like those Liberty Mutual commercials are starting to make an imprint. I'm not saying people need to go around handing out Ben Franklins to the homeless, but spare us the glorious self reach-around . I did something nice today. I bought a triple mocha latte cock swallow for a soccer mom in a Saab. I feel good about myself. Well, off to pilates class. And without skipping a beat, Starbucks took full advantage of this PR stunt and made it a media story.
But they did leave one detail out of the story: who broke the chain and why? Was it because there weren't any cars behind his/hers? Or did they just realize how stupid it was and not cave into the self-righteous nonsense? If it was the latter, I'd like to buy that person a beer. And then maybe they can buy someone else a beer, and so on.
I did something nice today. I bought a triple mocha latte cock swallow for a soccer mom in a Saab. I feel good about myself. Well, off to pilates class.
Nice.
Meanwhile, the guy that ordered a small $2.25 coffee and ended up getting guilted into paying for the $17 order in the car behind him went home and beat his wife.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | December 12, 2007 at 10:23 AM
"Meanwhile, the guy that ordered a small $2.25 coffee and ended up getting guilted into paying for the $17 order in the car behind him went home and beat his wife."
If he got guilted into that arrangement, I'm guessing the wife was the one doing the beating.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | December 12, 2007 at 10:26 AM
I did something nice today. I gave a girl HIV, who then gave someone else HIV. And so on.
Its the giving season.
Posted by: C. Joe Davola | December 12, 2007 at 10:38 AM
I'm confused, how exactly can you pay for an order that hasn't been ordered yet? Leave a credit card?
This is retarded, I'm taking my free latte and screw the person behind me.
Posted by: Babu | December 12, 2007 at 12:00 PM
Sorry, I get stuck at the "pay $5 for a cup of coffee" part. That's f'in stupid.
Posted by: TMan | December 12, 2007 at 12:13 PM
I did something nice today. I gave a girl HIV, who then gave someone else HIV. And so on.
Ouch! I'll be damned if I didn't smirk, but ouch!!
I bought a triple mocha latte cock swallow for a soccer mom in a Saab.
Aern't triple mocha cock swallows usually free for soccer moms? Or maybe that's just on the internet sites that I like to visit.
Posted by: Assman | December 12, 2007 at 12:21 PM
"Aern't triple mocha cock swallows usually free for soccer moms? Or maybe that's just on the internet sites that I like to visit."
VampiratesandMILFS.com?
Posted by: Jack Klompus | December 12, 2007 at 12:29 PM
VampiratesandMILFS.com
I don't visit the sites where I'm likely to see a picture of my own ass.
Posted by: Assman | December 12, 2007 at 12:57 PM
I don't visit the sites where I'm likely to see a picture of my own ass.
If you have to avoid those, what do you do when you need to get your daily gay porn fix?
Posted by: Craig | December 12, 2007 at 01:35 PM
I was overcome by the holiday spirit a yesterday and opened the car window to give $5 to a panhandling woman in the cold rain. Fuck, I forgot to instruct her to go to Starbucks.
Craig mentioned gay porn. I should get some of that. I hear it's hot, and some feminists enjoy it because there's no degradation of women (really, nobody likes a shot of cum in the face--nobody). Can you guys recommend some good gay porn for a straight woman?
Posted by: Schmoopie | December 12, 2007 at 01:55 PM
Craig mentioned gay porn.
Unfortunately.
I should get some of that.
And perpetuate the stereotype of gay males as the oversexed take-it-in-the-assers that the media so frequently heaps on them?
I hear it's hot
No.
and some feminists enjoy it because there's no degradation of women
It's only degredation if they're laughing at her. If seeing a guy get teamed up on by three dudes named Jamal is acceptable, then the same should be acceptable for ladies.
(really, nobody likes a shot of cum in the face--nobody)
*puts penis away*
Can you guys recommend some good gay porn for a straight woman?
Vandelay? What have you got here?
Posted by: Assman | December 12, 2007 at 02:16 PM
Vandelay? What have you got here?
I got nothing. Man this thread took a turn on a dime.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | December 12, 2007 at 03:02 PM
Man this thread took a turn on a dime.
Sorry about that. I just thought with his fear of seeing himself on his monitor while watching porn and his name, it would be a good opportunity to suggest that he has starred in gay porn. I kind of expected insults not some sort of discussion of the merits and disadvantages of porn.
Posted by: Craig | December 12, 2007 at 03:18 PM
Sorry. I was away for a while fondling a soccer mom for vampiratesandmilfs.com.
Did someone say free beer?
Posted by: Dr. Tim Whatley | December 13, 2007 at 08:29 AM
That's like trading $5 bills with someone. If someone buys you a $5 cup of coffee, then you buy it for the next guy, and so on, it nets out to a pointless waste of time.
Posted by: daveNYC | December 13, 2007 at 07:49 PM
If someone buys you a $5 cup of coffee, then you buy it for the next guy, and so on, it nets out to a pointless waste of time.
Unless you are the first or last person in line, in which case it really sucks or is really lucky, respectively.
Posted by: Craig | December 14, 2007 at 03:26 PM