Lord knows the world needs my grievances to have a little more substance, but in light of all the misery in this world from Darfur to the success of New England sports franchises here's what I got.
When ranting about the Knicks one could focus on Isiah, or Eddy Curry, or Zach Randolph, or the proper social application of 'bitch'. And sure you can poke fun at the sensual and educational delights of the subwoofer in the back seat of Starbury's whip, but it all just rings a little hollow. Sadly, the problem with the Knicks is the spiteful management style of young Jimmy Dolan. After years of taking the business end of a ping-pong paddle from the coach, the fans, and the media JD is more than willing to smother the one thing all those people care about more than him: his basketball team.
Well, where did he pick up this management style? After a lot of research on the topic it seems clear that his strategy is lifted directly from The Bush Administration Executive Hand Book, more specifically its first chapter entitled: Fuck me? No, Fuck You. A close reading of this text informs the reader that the only people who benefit from an executive owning up to his mistakes are the people that originally criticized the executive's judgment. And why give satisfaction to the same people who've been calling you a fuck-up from the start? Who wants to hear, "I told you so" or "that man sexually harassed me" or "Zach Randolph needs a sports bra"? The 'so-called' benefits from correcting or 'learning' from your mistakes provides no consolation to our embattled Jimmy in the face of Mike Lupica's smug little puss.
The final word of advice from the BAEHB: Once you've screwed the pooch, why listen to the animal rights activists? Just keep fucking that dog till it loves you, or drops dead, or the people who've stuck around long enough to bear witness finally succumb to the rising vomit in their mouths and turn away.
So in the spirit of giving, here are my sincerest wishes to you, Jimmy Dolan. I hope that was more than a cold-sore on that cocktail waitress' mouth. Happy Festivus.
Love,
Your run-of-the-mill Unique Visitor
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