Eli Has a Dilemma

Is There A Better Way?

After snowboarding for three consecutive days in two feet of fresh powder, I'm finding it very difficult to grieve about anything. Nonetheless, I'm sticking with the snowboarding theme at the risk of compromising some of my habitual vitriol- and the topic is probably already beat to death among certain circles- but what the hell, I'm airing it anyway.

I've been mulling over what it means to be a knuckledragger in the larger context of human affairs, let's say, on an international scale. To start with, I got into this sport after tensions had died down quite a bit between skiers and boarders. For those of you who do not know the history- starting in the late eighties the majority of skiers viewed snowboarding as the most evil and sadistic activity a human being could engage in. Snowboarders, consisting almost entirely of adolescent males, were only too happy to oblige the skiers in their wanton wrath and did everything possible to aggravate the situation. This little “sporting war” between the privileged classes and the offspring of the salt of the earth persisted throughout the Bush I and Clinton Administrations (draw your own conclusions).

Relations are much better these days and although I have encountered some “purist” skiers who do harbor a good deal of resentment towards snowboarding, the overwhelming majority of skiers seem completely cool with it. In fact, many people engage in both activities. Much of this easement of tensions can be attributed to the big financial shot in the arm the ski areas received when they finally figured out that allowing snowboarders onto their mountains was good for business. This, in turn, forced the two camps deal with each other and work things out. There are still four ski resorts in the US that do not allow snowboarding but they are mainly trying to capitalize on a particular niche of skiers that refuse to give up the ghost. Once they (the skiers) die off then even these places may accept snowboarders.

So what's my point already?? Well, after watching two videos on YouTube that addressed this topic I noticed right away that European and American skiers and boarders have two very distinct approaches to working out their differences on the slopes.

In this first video, two Italian gentlemen slam into each other traveling at great speed. The force of the collision stupefies each man into a submissive posture so that each one completely lacks the will to engage in anymore hostilities. They can now resume their recreational fun. Granted, there is the possibility that one or both might not have been able to make it back down the mountain without the aid of a gurney- but this time everything worked out just fine.

The second video represents the American way of handling conflict and tension on the snow-bound mountains. The disagreement is basically resolved by brawling. The result is lots of blood, lots of pissed off patrolmen, and “no more fun.” Although this level of aggression is not pervasive at all ski areas it is also not uncommon. The gentleman who is covered in blood could have easily allowed his adversary access to that finite plot of slope without having lost any standing with his colleagues. Yet the compulsion to establish TOTAL dominance was absolutely irresistible. Can we draw parallels with GW Bush's “we fight 'em there so we don't have to fight 'em here” or the New England Patriots shameless run-up on the Washington Redskins. Indeed we can. And we can also see the dire consequences of these follies. GW's reputation being reduced to little more fish slop in the public eye and the inevitable crumbling of the Patriot empire over the next several weeks.

As of yet I possess a conflict-free boarding history but all that could change very quickly. And when it does should I choose to attack the enemy bombardier-style like the Euro-boarders, or should I lose the board and attempt a frontal assault with fists flying. Or... is there a better way?

Comments

[Assman]

I'll bet this would make more sense to me if I ever went skiing.

[Eli]

"I'll bet this would make more sense to me if I ever went skiing."

It's sort of like racism- but with elements of fun interspersed.

[Steve]

Nice pictures. Where is that?

BTW, there's only three ski-only resorts left, since Taos recently gave up the ghost.

[Eli]

"Nice pictures. Where is that?

BTW, there's only three ski-only resorts left, since Taos recently gave up the ghost."

That pic was taken at Heavenly, I believe, Lake Tahoe.

And whaddya know-March 18- you're right. Greed is good.