Brian from the Sportsfrog went all Sin City On Us

Grievances?

I gotta say, friends...this has been a great year for me. Since
Festivus last I've sorted a lot of shit out. I've quit a job I hated
and been given a pay raise to do a job I dig a lot more, I get to work
from home, I've cultivated some great new friendships, I've gotten
divorced (this was not a bad thing), I've moved from Detroit to Las
Vegas, I've lost 55 pounds, I ran a marathon.

In short and without trying to sound like a pompous douchebag, I've
kicked some ass.

So in the spirit of the holiday, where do we go from here?

Well, you know I got a few.

Matt Millen? How does this asshole still lead my favorite
sports team? It's gone beyond contemplating what he has to do to get
fired to being a point of begrudging admiration because anyone who is
that incompetent at their job for that long has to be looked towards
as a role model on some level. There are lessons to be learned. If I
could shit the bed as badly at my job and still continue to draw a
paycheck? Well, let's say that might be something I would be
interested in.

Presidental politics? You're trying to tell me that in a
nation of 300 million people, the greatest democracy in the history of
mankind, these are the retards we get to choose our next president
from? I can't find a single redeeming feature amongst any of them --
Republican or Democrat. The best I can come up with is that Fred
Thompson was in In The Line Of Fire, one of my favorite Eastwood
movies, but that's not really enough to convince to me to vote a guy
for dogcatcher, much less a position where someone can unilaterally
decide to nuke Singapore.

Network news? Yeah, that cop dude probably killed his wife.
It's a sad story, but only bored housewives in Omaha care. Running it
at the top of the news for two straight months isn't going to make her
any less dead. Similarly, someone tell Glenn Beck that no one gives a
shit about illegal aliens as much as him. For every psycho Mexican
that sneaks across the border to slit the throat of some poor gringo,
there are 100,000 guys that just want to eek out a $6/hour job so they
can send $100 a week back to their impoverished family back in
Guadalajara. Some dudes are just evil, including a lot of "native"
Americans -- deal with it.

The Fed? I guess I'm the asshole for saving up my rapidly
shrinking salary (y'know, thanks to inflation and the deflating
dollar) and putting myself into a house I can afford and not being
stupid enough to sign on for an interest-only loan that escalates to
25.9 percent after one year. Keep lowering interest rates so maybe
one day we can bow before our benevolent Canadian overlords. If I
only I had been smart enough to have millions invested with Goldman
Sachs instead of scrimping and saving my working-class salary these
years so I could be bailed out for my stupidity. Goes to show you,
it's always better to be rich than smart.

Celebretards? Don't know who coined the phrase, but it is apt.
I don't care how many DUIs Britney gets or if her kids are retarded
or if Lindsey Lohan is blowing the doorman at the Chateau Marmont. I
just don't care. I wouldn't care if Lindsey Lohan was blowing me.
Leave her alone and leave the rest of us alone. If you really,
honestly and truly care about what Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears or
Paris Hilton is doing right now, do the rest of us a favor and kill
yourself. Remove yourself from the gene pool and we'll call it good.

Madison Avenue? You're the only grassfuckers who could somehow
manage to make Beyonce unappealing. If I see that "gotta, gotta
upgrade" DirecTV commercial one more time I'm not sure if I'll ever be
able to get an erection again. I've gone from loving Beyonce to
hoping that Bea Arthur ends up shilling for DirecTV.

Comments

[SL22]

Anything anti-Glenn Beck is good in my book.

[jackie]

What's this Beyonce thing that everyone is talking? I am painfully unhip.

One of my good buddies from Boston is thinking of making the move to Vegas. If he does, I unfortunately do not think he is long for this world.