Does Anyone Else Have This Problem?

So, I'm working on a project that I've promised someone I will have done by Monday morning. As of this morning, I probably had about 6 or 7 more concerted hours of roll up the sleeves work to get it done. As of now, I still have about 6 or 7 hours. And I'm sitting here having an honest conversation with myself and coming the realization that I'm not going to get any of those 6 or 7 hours done today and instead will end up telling myself I'll get it done tomorrow, will tell myself tomorrow that I'll get it done on Sunday, and then on Sunday morning I'll tell myself I'll get it done later in the day, and then at about 8 o'clock on Sunday night I'll finally roll up the sleeves, curse all of fucking life, get close to the finish line at like midnight, and then tell myself I'll get up at 6 a.m. to finish it off.

Is there anything I can take or do to cure this condition?

Comments

[Art Vandelay]

Procrastination is the bane of my existence. Of course, I'm pretty sure just about everybody has this problem.

Sunday at 8? You're gonna miss that epic Pats-Bills tilt that was such a huge game they had to move it to prime time? That's just disrespectful right there.

[jackie]

"Of course, I'm pretty sure just about everybody has this problem."

Absolutely. Poorly phrased title. But I do think there are degrees. By way of example, I would say that my level of procrastination when compared to that of a garden-variety procrastinator is like comparing a guy who regularly injects black tar heroine to one who smokes a joint every tuesday.

[Art Vandelay]

Absolutely. Poorly phrased title.

Should have went with an 80's movie reference.

I'm pretty close behind you if not there. Hell, I'm doing it right now.

[jackie]

"Should have went with an 80's movie reference."

I know less of these 80's movies you guys are always talking than Assman.

The list of "Movies That Everyone Has Seen" that I have not is staggering. Almost as staggering as you not having heard of "intelligent design" until today. Almost.

[Craig]

Chiles, you just pretty much described my work life...and my home life for that matter. I can't really convince myself to do anything resembling work until the last minute. There's always something better to do, like wasting time on here.

Almost as staggering as you not having heard of "intelligent design" until today. Almost.

I'm glad someone mentioned that. I thought it was fairly surprising, but I didn't want to say anything that would allow Klompus to accuse me of launching into a dissertation again.

[Art Vandelay]

Where exactly should I have come across this concept that's obviously been sweeping the nation since 1987?

[Eli]

I'll add my name to this lengthening list. Out of the last 120 hours I've clocked in at work I've probably spent 85 of them shopping online for the perfect snowboard jacket.

"Where exactly should I have come across this concept that's obviously been sweeping the nation since 1987?"

Dude, it's been splattered all over every newspaper, TV newscast, and radio news show for like the last 6 years. It really took off when W. got into the Whitehouse and asked every cocksucking priest and preacher how they think the country should be run.

[DFS]

yeah that is pretty much my MO too.

The night before I take a flight I am doing laundry and packing; this describes my whole existence. And I have friend who will ask me if I have started packing days in advance. Who the hell does that?

I dont know if there is a cure for procrastination, i havent found one yet

[jackie]

"Where exactly should I have come across this concept that's obviously been sweeping the nation since 1987?"

For the sake of my sanity, I hope you are not arguing that just because something has only been around since 1987 then that somehow excuses having never heard of it.

In any event, in response to your question, for starters:

Here... Here... Here and Here.

[Ann Tye]

As long as it gets done, don't sweat the process. Get scared when you miss a deadline or turn out poor work. I used to be concerned about the last minute push, but then decided that my conscious mind made one decision about when the work should begin;the unconscious, which is hard to beat,another. Why mess up your Friday with these ruminations, anyway? Have a great weekend and laugh when you start the work in the wee hours of Monday.

[jackie]

"The night before I take a flight I am doing laundry and packing..."

This is what I mean about degrees. I'm getting up at like 6:00 a.m. for a 9:00 a.m. flight and hoping that I have enough clean stuff to pack. If not, they have a landromat ro dry cleaner wherever I'm headed if things are really that critical.

"And I have friend who will ask me if I have started packing days in advance. Who the hell does that?"

I honestly do not, and never will, understand that stuff.

[Art Vandelay]

For the sake of my sanity, I hope you are not arguing that just because something has only been around since 1987 then that somehow excuses having never heard of it.

No, but it excuses never having learned about it in school. If Darwin wrote The Origin of Species in 1987, I probably wouldn't have heard of natural selection either...a much less egregious transgression that not having seen The Godfather (assuming).

[jackie]

"No, but it excuses never having learned about it in school."

So, to clarify, your position is essentially that if you did not learn about a topic in kindergarten, elementary school, or junior high, being completely unaware of that topic is somehow understandable?

"a much less egregious transgression that not having seen The Godfather (assuming)."

Penny is Fredo. Kobe is Sonny. Wade is Michael.

Try again.

[Assman]

No, but it excuses never having learned about it in school.

Because after you graduate, it's okay to stop learning about the world you're in.

[Art Vandelay]

Because after you graduate, it's okay to stop learning about the world you're in.

Uhhh...no. However when you're proactively educating yourself, you can pick and choose what you're learning about and therefore there are things that are liable to fall through the cracks. Especially when they involve a subject that you're not particularly interested in. You don't think there are any fairly prominent concepts that you've never heard of?

[Craig]

So, to clarify, your position is essentially that if you did not learn about a topic in kindergarten, elementary school, or junior high, being completely unaware of that topic is somehow understandable?

Because after you graduate, it's okay to stop learning about the world you're in.

And suddenly what goes on in the world around me makes so much more sense.

[Assman]

You don't think there are any fairly prominent concepts that you've never heard of?

Probably. Not too many that have threatened to go to the Supreme Court though. Unless there's a case called Thomas v. Caddyshack that I'm unaware of.

[Art Vandelay]

Probably. Not too many that have threatened to go to the Supreme Court though. Unless there's a case called Thomas v. Caddyshack that I'm unaware of.

So you know about everything that has ever threatened to go the Supreme Court? Do you know anything about Gemzar? I know a lot about Gemzar. It's never been to the Supreme Court and it's probably on the front page of the newspaper significantly less than intelligent design but in the grand scheme of things it's probably more important. Does that count for anything or should my knowledge be based solely on the volume in which it's fed to me by the media?

I don't mean to sound defensive here just trying to make a point. I'll admit I probably don't spend as much time on the first section of the newspaper as I should.

[Schmoopie]

It's important to know about intelligent design if (1) you like to know more about how stupid fundies are, (2) you have kids and live in a state or school district where stupid fundies exert control over curriculum, or (3) you are fervent about your science.

Also, there's this: The majority of Republican candidates for president say they don't believe in evolution. (This is terrifying. Either they're lying sacks of shit pandering to the fundies, or they are Really That Stupid.)

Back to the issue at hand: Procrastination. I was gonna get right to it, but then I got distracted by the intelligent design stuff and I was thisclose to spending a half hour reading liberal/sciency blogs decrying the intelligent design "theory." Yes, Jackie Chiles: I too am a major-league procrastinator. I bet the majority of bloggers are. Because what is blogging but a grand way to avoid doing the crap you're supposed to be doing? I procrastinate everything. Took me a year to call a plumber to make my toilet quit releasing sewer gas. Every single day that I have freelance work on my plate, I tell myself I'll buckle right down to work that morning, and instead I spend a minimum of two hours goofing off online.

I like to think that only smart people can be effective procrastinators. If you always get away with starting late, then there's no motivation to start earlier, is there?

Also, I recently had a hit on one of my blogs from someone who'd googled this: seinfeld woman's name is part of female antimony. How the f*ck do you misspell "anatomy" and manage to turn it into a chemical element instead?

[Jack Klompus]

I definitely intend to comment on this post -- later when I have more time.

[Craig]

Do you know anything about Gemzar? I know a lot about Gemzar.

I don't know much about it, but I do know enough to know that I hope your knowledge comes from your work or from general curiosity rather than have to become familiar with it yourself (or through anyone you know).

[Art Vandelay]

I don't know much about it, but I do know enough to know that I hope your knowledge comes from your work or from general curiosity rather than have to become familiar with it yourself (or through anyone you know).

Well the latter unfortunately (not me...but thanks) but that's sort of my point. You can get education through personal experiences just as much staying on top of current events. I'm not downplaying the importance of staying on top of what's going on in the world around you but I don't think it's necessarily out of the question that some things are gonna slip through the cracks.

I have a strange feeling I'm digging myself a deeper hole here. I'm gonna go get drunk and watch wrestling.

[SL22]

Vandelay, you are in a constant state of defensive. You should carry a D and a Fence with you throughout the day.

[Art Vandelay]

What do you mean I'm defensive? Why would you say that? It's you...it's not me.

[Billy]

Jackie,
At least you do the work on time. In school, I find myself calculating the letter grade late penalty in my head as soon as I receive a new assignment.

[SL22]

Billy, that's a problem. You should be slaving late the night before the letter grade penalty.

[Jack Klompus]

And now for my Craig-like dissertation:

This reminds me of the movie "Two For the Money," when Al Pacino goes to the Gamblers Anonymous meetings and explains to the gamblaholics that gambling isn't their problem (paraphrasing) -- it's that they are all lemons. The rush isn't in the winning -- the time they feel most alive is when the chips are being raked away. It's a fucked-up subconscious need to feel alive.

I think work-related procrastination is similar in that feeling of sprinting to the finish line. The opportunity for a buzzer-beater. I think we subconsciously make ourselves the underdog -- primarliy as a defense mechanism against failure. If we're not expected to win, the loss is not as painful. And when we succeed, it's all the more gratifying. However, the ultimate gratification is still in the "crunch time." And what's more, even though we're only the underdog in our own minds, we're often let off the hook when we fail because those around us have procrastinated as well.

In addition there are also the elements of cowardice and laziness. A part of us believes if we just avoid the "problem," it will simply go away. Ostrich head in the sand. If we can't see it, it aint there. Either it will fix itself, or someone else will come to the rescue. However, this is probably more prominent in health maintenance (diet, going to the doctor, etc.) than with work.

Well, times up. Get off my couch. We'll see you next Saturday at 9:00. In the meantime, I'd like to write you a precription for a highly-addictive solutionless pill.

[Craig]

And now for my Craig-like dissertation:

Ah, the sincerest form of flattery. Don't worry Klompus, there are a lot worse people to pattern yourself after, like this guy.

[Assman]

Ah, the sincerest form of flattery. Don't worry Klompus, there are a lot worse people to pattern yourself after, like this guy.

October 23rd? Jesus... talk about procrastination.

[Art Vandelay]

October 23rd? Jesus... talk about procrastination.

No shit. You're getting a lot of mileage out of that pop tart story. Although "Go Fuck Yourself Weekly" is classic. Can I use that?

[Steve H.]

Jackie, to respond to your question, the answer is No.

But I would bet that as far as your project went, you got it done, got it done well, and got it done on time. And enjoyed yourself more, on balance, than you would have if you had put in the time on Saturday.

(Or, god forbid, got it done last week.)