Yes, the dreaded inevitable has arrived. Chants of "Red Sox Numbah One!" and an array of Massholic behavior will be plastered on the screens for the next few days. There will be illogical comparisons and idiotic dynasty predictions. It's part of the deal. To the victor goes the spoils. Apologies to all non-New York fans. But I'm gonna enjoy this one, especially after I thought the Sox were going to pack it in and hand it over to the Yankees before the regular season was over (and they almost did). However, that's not all I'm going to enjoy now that the Sox have completed the sweep. A few afterthoughts:
- The first thing I will enjoy most in this World Series hangover is not having to stay up until 1:00 a.m. EST every night listening to Tim McCarver. Maybe I'm overstating the obvious, but does anyone overstate the obvious more in professional sportscasting than McCarver? Jesus. If y'all didn't know, it is advantageous to get ahead in the pitch count. No shit. Really?
- I will also enjoy not having to constantly envision murdering that bad Steve Martin knock-off in the Verizon commerical ("saving the best for Numero Uno"). I started running out of scenarios because I killed him so many times.
- Thankfully I won't need to see those fucking Dane Cook commercials, where he's spouting off about postseason baseball (as if he has an inkling of sports in his blood) while wearing a Brenda Warner hairdo. And if the Actober commericals weren't enough, those motherfuckers threw in a few Mr. Brooks on DVD commericals just to make sure we had a little extra Dane. Douchehole.
- It was nice to see Scott Boras filter his announcement through Ken Rosenthal during the 7th inning last night. What a scumbag. Nontheless, that's great news for all Yankee fans. Washing your hands of A-Rod is a step in the right direction. I hope to hell he doesn't land in Boston...
- If anyone, family included, ever tells me I need to get chili on my Nachos Bell Grande -- I'm gonna put them in an arm bar and make them scream till they piss themselves.
- Jeannie Zelasko must give one hell of a blowjob. Because, how the fuck...
- Even if I was looking for a crappy sedan that starts at $19,995, I would still ignore the Chevy Malibu. Just outta principle. And after about the 1,000 time I saw the female jogger run into that parked car, I started hoping the Bad Lieutenant version of Harvey Keitel was gonna get out of the Malibu and ask her for some "demonstrations."
- Vince Vaughn like you've never seen him before! Looks like he'll be playing a shit-talking asshole in the upcoming Fred Claus. Really testing his range.
- FOX allowing guest lineup introductions? They need to not do that. Ever. Again.
The first thing I will enjoy most in this World Series hangover is not having to stay up until 1:00 a.m. EST every night listening to Tim McCarver.
Not to rub it in, but everything about watching sports is more reasonable in the western time zones. Football starts at 10 AM, man. You don't have to dick around the house finding stuff to do while waiting for the games. And everything is over by 10:15 PM at the latest.
Jeannie Zelasko must give one hell of a blowjob.
It's not the best you've ever gotten, but it's pretty good.
Posted by: Assman | October 29, 2007 at 11:26 AM
On the way to work this morning I turned on WEEI to see who had won the game and I heard people screaming at each other, so I knew the Sox had swept.
Congratulations.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | October 29, 2007 at 11:38 AM
"Massholes rejoice!"
I'm no Masshole but I do have one hell of a hangover. The Sox RULE!!
As for A-Rod- I'd love to see him in the line up but not for 30+ mill....and not for Beckett. What the crap??
Posted by: Eli | October 29, 2007 at 06:01 PM
"As for A-Rod- I'd love to see him in the line up but not for 30+ mill....and not for Beckett. What the crap??"
I agree I'd like A-Rod's numbers in the line-up. I just don't think I'd want A-Rod the human in the clubhouse. He doesn't seem to be a popular teammate wherever he goes. And Beckett's name should not be mentioned in any kind of serious trade for at least a couple of years.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | October 29, 2007 at 08:41 PM
I like to see A-Rod in an Angels uniform. He seems to destroy the chemistry of any team he plays on, so Mr. Moreno, please crack open your checkbook.
I'm going to pretend that there was never a mention of trading Beckett.
Posted by: TMan | October 29, 2007 at 08:49 PM
"I'm going to pretend that there was never a mention of trading Beckett. "
Agreed. But if you ever listen to WEEI, you know that conversation is only a finger blister away from taking place.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | October 29, 2007 at 09:49 PM
As for A-Rod- I'd love to see him in the line up but not for 30+ mill
What the fuck do you care? Are you paying his salary? The Red Sox brass are gonna rape that fanbase regardless of what their payroll is.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | October 30, 2007 at 09:53 AM
"What the fuck do you care? Are you paying his salary? The Red Sox brass are gonna rape that fanbase regardless of what their payroll is."
Getting raped never felt so good, Mr Sad-Sack.
Posted by: Eli | October 30, 2007 at 03:52 PM
"Getting raped never felt so good, Mr Sad-Sack."
Was there some brotherly love going on in the Vandelay household that we should know about?
Posted by: jackie | October 30, 2007 at 05:18 PM
"Was there some brotherly love going on in the Vandelay household that we should know about?"
He's a winer.
Posted by: Eli | October 30, 2007 at 10:43 PM
"He's a winer."
Did you mean whiner or winner? Or does he stomp on grapes in the basement?
Posted by: Jack Klompus | October 30, 2007 at 11:14 PM
I'm a grinner and I'm a sinner.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | October 31, 2007 at 09:34 AM
Damn drunk-ass Red Sox fan can't spell no more. I mean WHHYY-NAAA. As in get ready for some lean times Yanks.
Posted by: Eli | October 31, 2007 at 11:29 PM